[MATURE CONTENT] I've hit a brick wall trying to redo an erotica story into something more literary.

[Devora]

I recently pulled an old story out of the trunk, so to speak. This may be a bit of a silly idea for a story, but i won't go into too vivid details for the sake of brevity and to keep the thread clean. I welcome any suggestions and input. I think i should summarize the story just to give context.



Summary:



. It's was a story about a Half-Elf (male) and a Half-Orc (female). they are adventurers/mercenaries and the half-orc is going in the throes of the seasonal mating cycle after they stumble upon an orc couple mating while stealthing through a rescue mission. The stench of it triggers the half-orc's mating cycle. As the cycle goes on, the half-orc, who is normally a boastful heroic type, turns into an emotional wreck who's orcish behavior begins to show. She grows more reckless and irritable, and more protective of her Half-Elf companion.The Half-Elf wants to find a way to help, but the Half-orc wants him to leave it be and let her endure the cycle. Unfortunately, the half-elf finds out while asking around about orc mating cycles that female orcs that don't mate usually go insane from hormones and quite often die. The townsfolk and other mercenaries start ostracizing her, viewing her as more of an orc than human.

later in the story, They're both in a tavern after a botched mission left a couple other mercenaries dead. theyre sitting off in a corner trying to ignore the other mercenaries glances. The town's mayor squares most of the blame on the Half-Orc and bans her from the town. The Half-Elf defends her and the ensuing argument gets heated and the Half-Elf gets punched in the face. The half orc rages and throws a table at the assailant. The Half-elf stops the fight from escalating, and the Half-orc realizes what she has done and runs out of the tavern and into the woods. The half-elf tries to go after her but is stopped when the mayor warns him that he will be banned if he goes after her as he's seen as encouraging endangerment. After realizing in that moment that he's been in love with her the whole time, He decides to go after her.

at the end, It switches to the Half-orc's perspective at this point (mostly a lot of flashback and her perspective of the story). the half-elf finds her in a half-mad state, and they confront their feelings.




Now this is where the story starts to hit a brick wall.

I'm trying to move the story away from being an erotica. i'm even questioning some of the scene choices, especially one scene where he walks in on her pleasuring herself. Even in the current draft I've decided to keep the detail very sparse and limited to "tell, not show" in this regard.

the main issue is that the story plot as it currently stands resolves when the two characters have sex. I'm not sure how to rework this ending without basically scrapping the story. I've thought about having a duo of orcs (medicine makers, perhaps) coming out of the woods that give her a medicine that helps her return to normal, but i'm not sure if it would feel cheap or not. I could basically be more vague with the descriptions of sex, but then it doesn't change the fact that i'm using sex as a plot device and i want to move away from that.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

I know it sounds a little weird in today's day and age, but could they instead talk about her feelings of sexuality and how they feel forced on her? (Especially since everyone knows I'm firmly in the yaya, sex! camp) There is actually a fairly similar scene in Laguine's The Left Hand of Darkness where a character goes into a heat cycle but the two characters in question don't have sex.

 

[Lynea]

Have you considered just making it a romantic fantasy? Perhaps the mating cycle thing could be an extra buffer to the plot while not the plot itself?

 

[pmmg]

Id say own it and write in the erotic parts and give the story what it needs. Fading to black will not suit if the story is about sex (thus i say from afar without reading any of it.).

she is ‘half’ orc. So maybe the lack of consummation is not fully crazy making.

i think star trek had an episode like this with spock.i forget how it resolved. I think it was with violence.

 

[Rosemary Tea]

Id say own it and write in the erotic parts and give the story what it needs. Fading to black will not suit if the story is about sex (thus i say from afar without reading any of it.)

This.

I'm curious why you decided to make it a non-erotica story. I dabble in erotica, and when I write something as erotica, it can't be anything else. Sometimes I start out with an erotica story in mind but the non-erotic elements take over and it becomes PG... and sometimes the opposite happens.

Sometimes sex is crucial and can't be left out. If you wrote the story as erotica, it's erotica for a reason.

 

[pmmg]

I am not really shy about erotica either, and most people I know who started to have success with getting their submitted work published, did so first with Erotica. But....somehow my main story does not really have Erotica in it (sorry all). Its kind of PG-13. At this point, it would be out of character to change it.

For myself, I would not publish erotica. I'd not be shy to write it, but I would like to make it with other endeavors. However...I am sure many will read it if you do.

 

[Devora]

This.

I'm curious why you decided to make it a non-erotica story. I dabble in erotica, and when I write something as erotica, it can't be anything else. Sometimes I start out with an erotica story in mind but the non-erotic elements take over and it becomes PG... and sometimes the opposite happens.

Sometimes sex is crucial and can't be left out. If you wrote the story as erotica, it's erotica for a reason.

One of my main reasons is that i feel like the story has more to say than just being about sex. And in the original draft the "sex scenes" were not that amazing either. I think the story as it has evolved feels more like a Romantic Fantasy than an erotica .

 

[Devora]

I know it sounds a little weird in today's day and age, but could they instead talk about her feelings of sexuality and how they feel forced on her? (Especially since everyone knows I'm firmly in the yaya, sex! camp) There is actually a fairly similar scene in Laguine's The Left Hand of Darkness where a character goes into a heat cycle but the two characters in question don't have sex.

Funny enough i was kinda leaning towards that route. She's already a self-sufficient character. I already wanted to write that she does have feelings for her half-elf companion, but i could also add that she doesn't want to be forced to have children, biology or otherwise.

 

[pmmg]

Funny enough i was kinda leaning towards that route. She's already a self-sufficient character. I already wanted to write that she does have feelings for her half-elf companion, but i could also add that she doesn't want to be forced to have children, biology or otherwise.

i dont see how feelings about children would help her biologically if she goes into heat and then goes mad if nothing satisfies it. She may not like it, but it does not change her reality. And while she can have any of many attitudes about it, i think there would be a strong inclination to have such that matched her biology. It would be like that for a reason and the culture would have understood it.

 

[pmmg]

Just a thought, but given the historical enmity between elf and orc, perhaps some quality of being around elves suppresses her mating instinct. When she is alone with him as the only suitable candidate, her biology turns it off.

 

[Mad Swede]

I never include sex scenes in my books, and I've never found it necessary to do so. The reason I phrase it like that is because I think you have the basis for quite a good story about the way love might develop between two very different characters and how they handle their feelings. Yes, you could include some erotica if you felt it necessary, but I'd suggest doing a clean re-write without any erotica at all, just to see if you can develop the personal side of the characters and their relationship. If you think the story still works, then you can decide if you need to add any erotic bits.

As a literary example, think about Lady Chatterley's Lover. That book is best known for it's erotic sex scenes, but they're really only a small part in a story about the way war changes people and what that does for their relationships and their lives.

 

[Queshire]

Honestly I'd say just cut the whole going into heat thing in total. It doesn't really add anything other than provide an excuse for them to fuck.

 

[Devora]

Honestly I'd say just cut the whole going into heat thing in total. It doesn't really add anything other than provide an excuse for them to fuck.

I'd have to scrap the story if i cut it. I'd rather deal with the challenge of trying to have this element in the story but not make it the whole point of the story; something that adds to the story conflict. If i truly can't make this element work differently in any way I'll just throw it back in the trunk and move onto something else.

 

[Queshire]

Why is that? Is the goal their relationship? To humanize someone with a decidedly non-standard biology?

 

[A. E. Lowan]

ooooor maybe to humanize and normalize sexuality in general, no matter how individuals experience it?

 

[Devora]

Why is that? Is the goal their relationship? To humanize someone with a decidedly non-standard biology?

ooooor maybe to humanize and normalize sexuality in general, no matter how individuals experience it?

This is pretty close to what I felt like the direction the story is really taking. I feel like the two main characters are a lot more fleshed out for probably what is needed for an erotica, and i want to focus on that.

One of the key plot points i felt was stronger than the erotic elements was the idea of how people in society distrust someone when they exhibit "unorthodox behavior". In the story the villagers trust her at first, but when she goes through the throes of being part-Orc, instead of helping her they shun her. The half-elf ends up being the only one to stick by her side because he knows who she is and knows she's more than just someone who is half-orc. I wish I could put it more simply, but that's the best I can describe.

 

[ThinkerX]

ooooor maybe to humanize and normalize sexuality in general, no matter how individuals experience it?

I might have gone too far with the Rabbits in the novella I wrote for your world.

I did scribe a story with issues somewhat similar to those in the OP. Part of the motivation was a (then) plethora of titles on the bookstore shelves that featured mostly female protagonists who were like part dragon or part demon or part elf or some combination of the above. My thought was...

'how did their parents even end up in the same room with their clothes off without killing each other, let along have conceive and have offspring?' So, I wrote a story that could allow for such diverse ancestry.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

I might have gone too far with the Rabbits in the novella I wrote for your world.

It's... a challenge to go too far with rabbits. lol

 

[ThinkerX]

It's... a challenge to go too far with rabbits. lol

did you read it?

 

[Rosemary Tea]

One of my main reasons is that i feel like the story has more to say than just being about sex. And in the original draft the "sex scenes" were not that amazing either. I think the story as it has evolved feels more like a Romantic Fantasy than an erotica .

As a literary example, think about Lady Chatterley's Lover. That book is best known for it's erotic sex scenes, but they're really only a small part in a story about the way war changes people and what that does for their relationships and their lives.

Perhaps an even closer literary example to what you're aiming for would be Outlander. Which has sex scenes, and they're well written, but they're not explicit physically. They're explicit emotionally. And they're just a small part of the story. Those scenes give more dimension and depth to the relationship between the characters, which is necessary, but they're not the main carrier of the plot.