Need help with a short section

[BWFoster78]

Here's the problem section:

As he continued walking, pondering how to ensure he woke before Lainey, he heard a voice behind him call out his name. Xan spun to find a young man struggling with a wooden cask perched on his shoulder. Sweat matted his red hair despite the coolness of the morning.

“Dylan! What are you doing back? I thought you were gone for another two weeks,” Xan said.

Questions:

The scene is told from Xan's PoV. Is it okay to refer to his friend, Dylan, as a young man when Xan sees him? After all, Xan would immediately recognize him as his friend. I like the working in the description, but I'm not sure it makes sense.

Is it clear that the sweat matted red hair belongs to Dylan and not Xan?

Thanks in advance for the assistance.

 

[TGNewman]

Yep seems clear to me.

 

[Ailith]

Maybe the cask is obscuring Dylan's head and all Xan doesn't recognize him until he turns, revealing his matted red hair. That would be easy to work in, and might make a little more sense.

 

[Penpilot]

I think that part is fine. It was clear it was Dylan's hair. But... I'd look at that first sentence a little more. It's hard to be certain without seeing it in context, but I think that first sentence might be stronger if you made it two sentences.

 

[shangrila]

If you've already described Dylan then I think you could just use his name, or add the word familiar (e.g. "and saw a familiar young man")

Aside from that it's fine.

 

[Steerpike]

Seems clear to me.

I think using "a young man" instead of "Dylan" works if he's being introduced for the first time. If not, it would seem a bit strange to me.

 

[BWFoster78]

Thanks for the comments. I like adding familiar.

I'll consider splitting the first sentence, but I think it's okay.