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Seeking Critiques On The Creation Of Reality

Hello if anyone can read the following text and tell me what they think I would appreciate it.

In the beginning, there was nothing but Gray. Neither Darkness nor the Light existed in this endless Gray which encompassed everything. However, one day in the time before creation the Light and the Dark appeared out of the Gray. The Light and the Dark upon seeing each other are said to have conjured blades made up out of their own being and attacked each other for each hated the other upon sight. The clashing of blades and soon after, the tossing of great beams of energy began. It is said that here is when the Gray became sentient or at least decided to intervene in the duel.

The Light and Dark attempting to destroy the other and missing had damaged the Gray and thus the Gray decided to imprison both of them for the crimes they had done to him. However, those three were the only things in all of the yet-to-be-created universe thus the Gray began plotting. The Gray decided while the Light and the Dark were distracted fighting each other to begin the creation of the rest of reality in order to imprison them and to have mighty guards keep them imprisoned.

Using his powers the Gray created beings who would affect the smaller creations he had in mine and also keep them from releasing the beings of Light and Dark from their cells. These beings would be called Gods and he created many of them for a large majority of his small creations which he called mortals. First, he created Dalmun who would be the chief deity of the pantheon and would be worshiped by those who would be called Dwarves. Dalmun upon being informed about the current situation by the Gray agreed to aid the creator in his work and thus Dalmun became known as the Great Forger by his people. The other Dwarven Gods were created and thus they began to plan the future of their people alongside the plans the Gray had for the beings of Light and Dark.

The beings of Light and Dark did not notice the creation of reality until it was far too late to intervene for the Gray was like mist and even the being of Light could not pierce through the fog of the Gray. Next in the Gray’s plans was the creation of Elves who were almost immortal. The Gray created the Goddess Vaella who would guide the Elven races whether High Elf OR Drow Elf as a Goddess who wore many faces. Like Dalmun Vaella upon listening to the Gray about the current events agreed to aid him in the creation of reality and she began the creation of the Elven deities thus donning the mantle of chief deity of the elven pantheon.

The Gray created many chief deities during the beginning of creation and they, in turn, agreed to aid him in the creation of reality thus leading to many peoples and many Gods. The last of the chief deities created, however, was the God of humanity and he was known as Morwag and he was different from the other Gods. Upon being talked to by the Gray he also agreed to aid him however unlike the other Gods he created many Gods for humanity in different regions to be worshiped unlike the usual one pantheon each for most of the other deities.

While different and intriguing the other deities focused on their own peoples and the creation of the world in which they would inhabit. The Continents of Celere and Aleria and many others were created and a great prison on an island at the center of the world surrounded by water was built for the beings of Light and Dark.
 
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pmmg

Istar
Well....

I have questions. And honestly, I am probably not the right audience for this. but....

I don't know how there can be grey if there is no light and dark. Something must be around to perceive it. I am not sure why the grey would be more or less powerful than the light or the dark? I am questioning why they grey would be supreme and garner followers, as I see nothing in it to fight for, where as Light and Dark seem to have things they are fighting about. I think there is not a place of no-reality and then reality, such that, when light and dark are fighting, the reality is they are fighting. And I am not following the Gods, as all of them seem lesser than than which created them. I am also questioning how blind light and dark must be to not see all of this occurring while Grey is making a prison for them. Given the strong position that the Grey was wiser, and light and dark got to fighting, I am thinking something profound about the nature of light, dark and grey must come out of this story, and given the standard symbolism of such ideas, I am guessing that this is story that wants to show shades of grey and less black and white nature to issues and conflicts. I think I am questioning most, if the grey is creative and making gods all over the place, why are Light and Dark not doing the same?

I will say, trying to talk about a period when there is nothing would seem very difficult, as you must have something to talk about. How can there be one day before light and dark if there are no days? Its a tricky thing to do.

Is this story one in which all the created races get involved in fighting with the grey against Light and Dark? who are the Main Characters and what is their stake in the conflict?

So, the opening has me asking questions, and I am hoping the answers will come out in the story, and show a perspective that is itself a nice and profound consideration. The concepts of creation, grey, light and dark, are big ones. I think they need investigation.
 
I thank you and appreciate your insight. I think my main idea is that I was tired of seeing the nothingness before the universe being described as darkness and just wanted something different however nonsensical it might be. However, you have a point about how there can't be grey if there isn't dark and light so I would say that the Gray is nothing more than primordial soup (or chaos) that happened to be made up of the stuff of Light and Darkness and only the Gray was only sentient first and had taken form first as a fog/mist that obscured everything if one was to look into it. The Light and The Dark only became sentient sometime after this and then took mortal form. The Gray would be supreme mainly due to the fact it understands the whole picture, unlike the Light and Dark who later only worked together to try and prevent their imprisonment. I'm not sure why you think that Gods would be lesser than that which created it. The Light and Dark will work together to create beings later (Demons and Devils based upon fire and cruelty being aspects of the Light and Dark). Light and Dark are opposites and they despise each other enough to focus on destroying each other and not notice the rest of reality being created until later plus the Gray itself obscured the Light and Dark from seeing creation at least long enough to create an actual Earth in which an event is known as "The First War" would take place. The Gray created the Gods which gives the Gods a feeling of kinship to the Gray even if the Gray only desired aid in imprisoning the Light and Dark. The Gray needed help in imprisoning the Light and the Dark mainly because they are aspects of him and destroying them would also destroy him. I don't have main characters yet this is just world-building although I plan to touch upon good, evil, and of course the middle (Gray). Apologies for the wall of text.
 

Avery Moore

Troubadour
What shade of grey was it?

... Seriously though, I find it strange that the Light and Dark just kind of appeared out of the Gray from nothing. Where did they come from? Right now, the Gray seems like the most powerful force out of all the supernatural forces, so I guess it would make sense if the Gray created the Light and the Dark for some reason (without intending for them to fight to the death). But if the Gray didn't create them, that suggests the existence of some even more powerful sort of deity, who presumably created the Light, the Dark and the Gray.

Also, where do the colours come into it? How come Light, Dark and Gray are super powerful entities, but the colours don't get anything? Maybe the Gods could all have a specific colour assigned to them? Like, Dalmun could be the God of Red, and Vaella the Goddess of Blue, or something like that? Just a little suggestion.

Also, the ending doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I kind of assumed that the way this story was going, Light and Dark were eternally trapped in a never ending battle. Daylight would appear whenever Light was winning, and night would come whenever Darkness was winning. But, that's not what happened. Light and Dark are now both imprisoned on an island somewhere... But, presumably it still gets light during day and dark at night, right? So, if Light and Dark are both imprisoned on an island somewhere, where do day and night come from? Unless there are no day and night and the sky is eternally grey?
 
presumably it still gets light during day and dark at night, right? So, if Light and Dark are both imprisoned on an island somewhere, where do day and night come from
I used the terms dark and light in more a moral sense like good and evil their influence still exists, however.
Thank you for your insight it is clear to me I need to do some serious rewriting and I will.
 

Avery Moore

Troubadour
I used the terms dark and light in more a moral sense like good and evil their influence still exists, however.
Thank you for your insight it is clear to me I need to do some serious rewriting and I will.
Oh, okay! I was thinking in terms of literal colours. Like, the world was grey, then black and white showed up, and black and white were fighting all the time, so grey put them in the world's most high-security time out. :ROFLMAO:
 
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