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Suspensive sentence goofing around

Demesnedenoir

Myth Weaver
So, after some discussions on these forums I went back and starting reviewing some lectures by Professor Brooks Landon of the University of Iowa, and his discussions of loose vs periodic sentence syntax. Long story short, he prefers the terminology “suspensive sentence” rather than the dichotomy of loose/periodic. Suspensive techniques are something everybody uses, but I doubt everybody does them on a conscious level. I’d call my use of periodic techniques semi-conscious or instictively intentful, LOL.

But anyhow, after one segment a particullar section of my book came to mind, and I went and took a look. I rewrote this piece not as a single sentence (something he speaks of in the lecture) and utilizied a cumulative style to build the prose. I’ve several different versions of this, which has been quite entertaiining, playing with rhythm and nuances, and I’d be curious as to people’s thoughts on this. Note: the professor’s approach does not pretend to favor short sentences, LOL. So, without further adieu:

Everything came so fast that reality blurred into heads of ale, beefy spices rich on his tongue, and molten honey-butter on fresh bread, without time for sorrow over the past or to worry on the future, exhausting every excuse to delay departure before his kin took turns pounding his back with hugs and muttering their farewells. Until he set foot on the swaying deck of the Sea Owl, and the world stopped in a surge of clarity.
 
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