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The Secret Value of Zero

Scribble

Archmage
This isn't exactly self-promotion, but friend promotion. This is a science fiction story.

Amazon.com: The Secret Value of Zero eBook: Victoria Halley: Kindle Store

When men and women in black burst into Meke's room, she must decide if she will go with them. They offer an irresistible chance for Meke, branded a Zero because of her deafness, to prove that she is more than a Zero. In Prosperon, where intelligence and ability reign supreme, deafness is categorized as a defect, placing Meke in the lowest rank. After eight years of enduring quarantine for a mysterious sickness killing Zeroes, Meke is ready to prove herself. The treatments during quarantine caused certain side-effects that suddenly make Meke important to Prosperon and the revolutionaries. As both sides vie for the secrets that Meke carries, Meke resists their attentions. When Meke takes control of her fate, she surprises everyone, including herself.

Backstory

My friend Cristina, aka Victoria Halley, has written this deaf protagonist, herself being deaf. It's a perspective most of us do not get to experience or understand fully. What's more, Cristina is also losing her sight. Despite these challenges, she perseveres in her dream to be a successful writer.

She's so inspiring, I would love to see her succeed.
 

BWFoster78

Myth Weaver
While I feel for the challenges facing your friend, I don't think her writing is quite there yet. I took a look at the sample really wanting to like it. While the writing is active and centers on a character (both really good signs that a lot of self published authors get wrong), she really needs to watch the repetition.

There are few things that will turn a reader off as quickly as telling them the same thing over and over again. Once you establish the character as deaf, the reader gets it. Describing details that bring home the reality of the situation is good. Saying again that the character couldn't understand because she was deaf is bad.

Same thing with establishing what a Zero is. Telling us once is good. The second time is annoying. After that, it's downright aggravating.

Sorry.

Brian
 

Scribble

Archmage
While I feel for the challenges facing your friend, I don't think her writing is quite there yet. I took a look at the sample really wanting to like it. While the writing is active and centers on a character (both really good signs that a lot of self published authors get wrong), she really needs to watch the repetition.

There are few things that will turn a reader off as quickly as telling them the same thing over and over again. Once you establish the character as deaf, the reader gets it. Describing details that bring home the reality of the situation is good. Saying again that the character couldn't understand because she was deaf is bad.

Same thing with establishing what a Zero is. Telling us once is good. The second time is annoying. After that, it's downright aggravating.

Sorry.

Brian

That's a fair critique. To be sure, she is conscious of style, but it was her first effort. I know she has looked at it and felt that there were many changes she would have made by her later self. She said that the feeling of pubbing it was somewhere between exhilaration and mortification.

I appreciate you taking the time to read the sample and comment.
 
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