The tear jerker

[Nihilium 7th]

One of my favorite things about a good story are the scenes where the author writes that scene that no matter how much of tough guy you are manages to bring tears to your eyes. That scene where the mentor of the main character is murdered or sacrifices themselves, the moment when that all important war is lost and the MC's love interest, mother dies in their arms or that scene where you realize that all is lost.
I would like to know how you guys write sad moments in your stories, how you inject raw emotion from your heart into your tale without it seeming cheesy.

 

[Ireth]

For me, I know a moment I'm writing is sad when I cry as I write it. Not long ago I RP'ed a horrific battle in which several of my better-loved characters died in very painful ways. One man died in the arms of his best friend, and his last words were a request for the friend to give a kiss to the girl he loved as a daughter. That same friend later comforted another dying comrade with the simple words "I'm here," and was willing to stay with him despite needing urgent medical attention himself, just so the other wouldn't have to die alone. Another scene involved a healer desperate to save a dying girl, only to have her slip away before he could finish casting a spell.

 

[Nihilium 7th]

Those examples are perfect. The problem I am having is finding that emotion and then finding a way to pen it. Every time I try it comes out cheesy or just depressing (to me).

 

[Ireth]

I see little wrong with a scene being depressing to you as an author -- if you don't feel sad about it, how can you expect your audience to? But cheesiness is a problem. Maybe you could post some examples of your writing here for others to look over. A second pair of eyes can often catch these kinds of things and help you fix them.

 

[Anders Ämting]

Sad or tragic scenes usually don't make me cry. And that's not just me being a tough manly man that way, I just don't cry over sad stuff very often. If it's done well, I may appreciate the impact while still being on an emotionally safe distance. If it's done poorly, it usually just makes me angry. I hate it when I get the feeling the author is just being mean to his characters in an attempt to manipulate me.

The few times I do shed manly tears over things in fiction, it usually concerns things I find... touching, I guess? A character lamenting a lost friend, for example, or a personifying a certain virtue. Not just emotional scenes, but scenes where characters express strong emotions that come across as genuine to me. It can't just be something sad, it has to actually be poignant.

 

[Zero Angel]

Self-sacrifice gets me every time. It's absurd. I'll be watching the Iron Giant and crying like a baby

But I think what really triggers it is the idea of the intense loyalty and devotion that character is displaying. Thus a movie like Hachi can utterly destroy me.

Anyway, one thing I try to do is pull back during the event itself. I try not to build up what it means that the person is sacrificing themselves, but then later deal with the emotion of what happened. For instance, in WotA 01, I have a scene where one of the main characters puts everything he is into a spell in order to defeat the threat they are fighting. During the scene, it's mostly adrenaline and holy cow-ness, with the character being left reeling after casting the spell, being observed that the character would be permanently affected by the spell he just cast, and then the bad guy killing the character almost as an after-thought.

I was sad while writing this, but not destroyed. However, it happens that one of the characters affected by this travels to the dead character's father where we see some more of the emotion that went into the decision and for some reason THAT scene wrecks me when I read it. It's rough.

Anyway, if you're afraid it is being too cheesy, I think maybe pulling back a little bit and not building it up may be solutions to the cheese.

 

[Feo Takahari]

I'm not sure if I've ever actually made anyone cry, but I've written a few scenes that definitely got a strong emotional reaction from some readers.

In third-person, the formula seems to be minimal emotion in the narration, but maximum reasonable emotion from the characters. (I specify "reasonable" because the character's emotion must fit both the situation and their previously displayed emotional tendencies--a stoic character may show some degree of emotion, but you'd better have a damn good reason if he suddenly starts blubbering.) The worst thing you can do is heavy-handedly hint that your readers should start crying now.

In first-person, it's easiest to have a strong reader reaction if the viewpoint character is having a strong reaction--otherwise, the viewpoint character's commentary on the situation may undercut the emotion. Try to get deep inside the viewpoint character's head and show (not tell) exactly how their emotional outlook informs their perceptions at that moment. (Of course, this works best if you've already let the character's unique voice color the narrative--you can't suddenly introduce subjectivity partway through a story.*)

*Actually, you could probably write a story about an incredibly unemotional character whose narration is direct and logical, then find a way to make that character crack and introduce subjectivity into their thoughts. You'd probably have to break them slowly, though, rather than in one big event.

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

I've never written anything that made me cry (I'm not even sure that's possible), but I've written things that readers say made them cry. Unfortunately(?) that's all been in fanfiction, where the readers are emotionally invested in the characters and it's not that hard to jerk a cry out of someone if your prose and plotting are halfway decent. Based on that experience my observations are:

1) The key objective is that the readers care about your characters. That's not going to occur during your tear-jerking scene, it has to occur before it. You could lift the final sequence of Love Story into your tale and if this is the first time the reader has met your characters, they simply won't care.

2) As Feo Takahiri suggests, emotion in the narration is irrelevant. It's the emotion in the characters that compels the tears. Your prose can be quite sparse and the waterworks will come as long as the character connection is there. As a point of craft, it can be pretty easy to make your readers cry when something happens that legitimately makes your character cry.

3) Animals. That's what does it for me. Old Yeller, Flowers for Algernon, The Art of Racing in the Rain, The Plague Dogs, A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian -- that s**t just tears me up. Man, why do people put animals in books? Bastards.

 

[Anders Ämting]

Sad or tragic scenes usually don't make me cry. And that's not just me being a tough manly man that way, I just don't cry over sad stuff very often. If it's done well, I may appreciate the impact while still being on an emotionally safe distance. If it's done poorly, it usually just makes me angry. I hate it when I get the feeling the author is just being mean to his characters in an attempt to manipulate me.

The few times I do shed manly tears over things in fiction, it usually concerns things I find... touching, I guess? A character lamenting a lost friend, for example, or a personifying a certain virtue. Not just emotional scenes, but scenes where characters express strong emotions that come across as genuine to me. It can't just be something sad, it has to actually be poignant.

Thinking about it, I believe the bolded part is key. Basically all instances I can recall crying from a fictional scene, it was because of something a character was expressing.

I think that's why I never cry over those "dog spends years waiting for dead master" things. Because dogs can't speak, and thus can't express their emotions. I end up mostly just pitying the dog for apparently never figuring out why the master doesn't return.

However, I do tear up over Koko the gorilla finding out her kitten died. "Bad, sad bad. Frown cry-frown sad." This is an animal who is smart enough to comprehend things like death and loss, and is actually trying really hard to express her feelings about it. There's almost a desperation to it, like she knows "sad bad sad" doesn't even come close, but she simply doesn't have stronger words than that.

But then again, are we humans not the same? How does anyone put words to those feelings?

Another thing that can make me cry is from the Epic of Gilgamesh, where Gilgamesh mourns the death of Enkidu, his only true friend. This is a 3000 years old text that still somehow rings true to me:

"Hear me, O Elders of Uruk, hear me, O men!
I mourn for Enkidu, my friend,
I shriek in anguish like a mourner.
You, axe at my side, so trusty at my hand--
you, sword at my waist, shield in front of me,
you, my festal garment, a sash over my loins--
an evil demon!) appeared and took him away from me!
My friend, the swift mule, fleet wild ass of the mountain,
panther of the wilderness,
Enkidu, my friend, the swift mule, fleet wild ass of the mountain,
panther of the wilderness,
after we joined together and went up into the mountain,
fought the Bull of Heaven and killed it,
and overwhelmed Humbaba, who lived in the Cedar Forest,
now what is this sleep which has seized you?
You have turned dark and do not hear me!"
But his (Enkidu's) eyes do not move,
he touched his heart, but it beat no longer.
He covered his friend's face like a bride,
swooping down over him like an eagle,
and like a lioness deprived of her cubs
he keeps pacing to and fro.
He shears off his curls and heaps them onto the ground,
ripping off his finery and casting it away as an abomination.

Gilgamesh is trying to express his grief, but just like the gorilla, he can't seem to find the right words - he starts comparing Enkidu to his treasures and possesions, because their friendship was the most valuable thing he possessed. At the same time, you get the feeling he would trade his entire kingdom just to get Enkidu back.

 

[Guru Coyote]

Nebuchadnezzar put my thoughts to words before I could.

the stuff that touches me most is very often not IN that actual scene. The scenes narrative might only contain a small mention, say 'she kissed him on the cheek.' But that small gesture has a meaning that comes out of the context of all that has gone before.
Maybe that is why - when we try to write scenes that are emotionally touching - thy come out cheesy. The touchyness does not belong into that scene. It emerges from the emotional investment the reader has built up until that scene.

 

[wordwalker]

We're saying it a lot: it's not that the narrative says the thing is tragic, it's seeing it in-world. The characters' reactions, or the story setting up that we care about the characters or understand just how big a sacrifice is being made.

 

[Aidan of the tavern]

Feo worded it well, I think it's more what happens than how you write it. Having said that I have a feeling it would help to strike a certain balance in your writing of the tear-jerker, between not creating an emotional narrator, and allowing just a little subtle sensitivity in the wording. Just a thought.

Now I'm a very innexperienced 3rd person writer, so don't take my thoughts as tried and tested .

As well as the points others have made, I have a theory which might, just might work. Shock your readers ever so slightly . I'm not saying that a character has to die all of a sudden, but try include something which will make the reader go "wow, hang on". For example if a character is dying, and someone who's been really cold or unpleasant to them suddenly wraps a blanket around them and just holds them, trying to make their last minutes that little bit easier, this will be so uncharacteristic it'll throw the reader, make the scene that more memorable. Or if the guy who was always fierce and throwing himself into the action is dying, and admits he's afraid of what might happen to him.

Scenes like this can show things about characters which the reader may not have realised were there, so that can be one way of making a scene more powerful. Plus it can be great for character development. They don't have to be complete changes in personality, they could also be just little signs. If the leader figure has tears in their eyes then you as the reader know that something really sad has happened. So I reckon its not just about the event, be it death or failure, but also about the ripples, the effects.

 

[Guru Coyote]

Shock your readers ever so slightly . I'm not saying that a character has to die all of a sudden, but try include something which will make the reader go "wow, hang on". For example if a character is dying, and someone who's been really cold or unpleasant to them suddenly wraps a blanket around them and just holds them, trying to make their last minutes that little bit easier, this will be so uncharacteristic it'll throw the reader, make the scene that more memorable. Or if the guy who was always fierce and throwing himself into the action is dying, and admits he's afraid of what might happen to him.

Something like this will work if:
* the character's reaction is unexpected
* but it is also logical (makes sense if you think about it)
Only if BOTH of these conditions are met, does this surprise work, and then it is one of the best things you can pull off.
The reader reaction you want is:
"Wait, WTF.... oh... yes, I SEE!"

As such, I think this sudden change in the character's attitude and behavior needs to be in some way foreshadowed, prepared. Maybe they were always mean to each othere... but there was a reason. And deep down... they were best friends.

 

[Penpilot]

If you want that emotional scene to work, you have to earn it.

A scene will make you respond emotionally because it's the cumulation of everything that's been set up in the story before hand. If you want that dramatic "I love you" moment not to be cheesy, there has to be a build up, small hints of affection, etc. Set it up so the scene is an inevitable collision point of events and let the reader realizes things just a step before the characters do. If that's done the reader will be right there with the characters realizing what's about to happen and cheering them on.

The same applies to those dark "We're doomed" moment's too. Set it up so the reader realizes all is lost right before the characters do, so they say to themselves "please story, don't go this way" with a spark of hope, only to have that hope dashed when the reality of it is stated in the text.

For instance take the movie When Harry Met Sally. As the movie progresses through it's ups and downs, the audience comes to realize that the two characters are meant for each other and there's that climatic speech at the end.

 

[Caged Maiden]

I remember the scene that made me cry the most. Piers Anthony, not exactly known for tearjerkers,right? In one of the books there's a scene where the Nightmare (who isn't an evil character, but DOES kinda do bad stuff) sacrifices herself for the greater good. She does what only she can do and in doing so, loses her body into a void from which nothing can escape (even a dream-state horse, apparently). Anyhoo, OMG it was the saddest thing ever. Really, I have to agree, animals and self-sacrifice are the ultimate cryfest for me. Which is why I HATE Where the Red Fern Grows. I hate it but I love it.

My dog died yesterday. I've never held a dead thing in my arms before, but there's something about actually doing it that kinda makes the writer in me understand what I didn't before.

It's like one minute, they're struggling for breath, hanging on and fighting. The next, there's just a calmness, breath stops, eyes stare, and the body goes limp. It isn't even heavy, just soft. I think that's the thing about death I didn't understand, how soft it is, how quiet and peaceful. You can literally feel it, that moment when something in your hands dies, when the brain is off, while you wait for the heart to stop beating.

Honestly, in one of my novels, I knew I had to kill a character's best friend. I knew it was right for the book, her motivation, and her sense of vengeance. I KNEW I had to do it but I was afraid of how to. After my experience yesterday, I know just how to do it, because quite literally, I held my best friend in my arms while he passed and feel I can now do the scene justice. I do hope when I finish I get the results I'm looking for. The passing of the boy in my book is supposed to be really sad and isolating to my MC who brought him with her when she left her home.

Best wishes.

[/IMG]

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Not to derail the thread but thanks so much for your post and my heart goes out to you. Such a fine looking dog. I've got three myself and am about to add a fourth. I'll remember your words in my writing. Best wishes and RIP your beloved friend.

 

[Grand Lord BungleFic]

My approach to that is to ask myself what my heroes want more than anything in the world. I devote a fair amount of energy to making sure the reader knows how important it is --- then I figure out how to take it away from them just as it's within their grasp.

Also, I'm fond of having my heroes make disastrous mistakes -- the kind that the reader knows he or she would also make in the same situation. Knowing that I would blunder my way into the same catastrophe REALLY draws me into a story. Bonus points if the reader knows it's a mistake. I like the idea of a reader clutching the book yelling, "NOOOO!!!! Don't DO THAT!!!"

 

[Caged Maiden]

two days until the anniversary of this post and I'm planning something. I know it's an old thread, but I'm rejuvenating it in honor of my dead dog.