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The World, or whachamacallit

Discussion in 'World Building' started by DassaultMirage, Aug 13, 2013.

  1. DassaultMirage

    DassaultMirage Minstrel

    In my story, the Erelims (The Valiant Ones) and the Fallens were never again to continue their war on the world, banned by an even higher force known only as Ein Sof. The tricky Fallens mated with humans before leaving, producing a human-demon hybrid to wreak havoc on the world, creatures known as Nephilims. The Erelims are therefore compelled to teach the humans magic, erelim arts, to allow them to defend themselves against the Nephilims. Humans who practice magic are known as practitioners.

    And so, it was a long war against nephilims and practitioners, but 150 years ago, the Nephilim Empire of Vlad was finally defeated by the Holy Alliance. It was then that the practitioners started turning against themselves, but for reasons I will later on state.

    The countries of practitioners that are starting to turn against each other are as follows:

    Royal Skies, with wind-based technologies and bustling agriculture from its overseas colonies. It was said that the ancestors of the people of Royal Skies had been trained by a legion of wind erelims, with the high erelim Zephyr teaching the early royalties of Royal Skies the highest forms of wind magic. The people of Royal Skies were quick to adapt to changes, capable of making the most rational decision at the spur of the moment, a degree of flexibility that enabled them to be the only nation in modern history to never suffer an invasion.

    Frostmark was the least progressive, but still powerful enough to be a member of the Alliance. The ocean erelims under high erelim Pacifica trained the early practitioners of water magic up in the northern lands. After the departure of the erelims, the people of Frostmark used their magic to join countless northern icebergs together and settled there, establishing an economy close to the sea and its bounties, and being paid to secure vital water lanes in other parts of the world. Frostmarkers were calm and preserving.

    Between Royal Skies and Frostmark lies Firebrand, a nation surrounded by five volcanoes, gifts from the high erelim Corona. The people of Firebrand had been living off the fertile volcanic soils and from fire magic practitioners working as private mercenaries. They were a fierce and hot-headed bunch, masters of warfare and destruction, Firebranders were greatly feared on the battlefield.

    East of the three nations was Stonesburg, a nation almost as big as Arkenfell, with a land area twice as big as the first three nations together. Stonesburg’s earth practitioners produced the best farmers and the best soldiers, skills taught by high erelim Gaia and her legion of nature erelims. Due to the huge territory, Stonesburg has been invaded the most, but the perseverance and toughness of the Stones enabled them to regain their lands time and again.

    Red Sword is a huge nation known for its enormous population of knights. It is a nation of chivalry and culture, of armor and sword. While knowing the least amount of magic and fielding the least amount of practitioners, the people of Red Sword relied on their own skills to put up industries and till their lands that made their economy rival a nation of practitioners.

    The Sakura Islands is a nation on the far east. Once ruled by samurais who were corrupted by digging too deep into magic, the pracitioner-nins now rule the empire, with a young daughter of the deceased shogun being the current ruler. Known for its snow capped mountains, bountiful oceans and stern workers, it is what is not known about the people of Sakura Islands that make them a force to be reckoned with.

    Another large nation was the nation of Tian Dao. While being the largest nation in the world in terms of land and manpower, the nation of Tian Dao is the farthest from magic. They relied in their own minds, and became known as the nation of medical and philosophical wonders. Despite fielding very little magic, the nation's immensely trained soldiers mastery of martial arts have so far put any belligerents at bay. Frequent civil wars have ruined the economy of this otherwise magnificent nation.

    Red Dominique is to magic as Red Sword is to knights. After breaking free from the sword-centered ways of Red Sword, Red Dominique is now a conservative nation with blossoming economy, and ironically, a magnificent mix of technology and magic that produced one of the world's strongest all-steel navy and juggernaut industries. It's overwhelmingly small military is almost always enough, what with the immense knowledge of magic that every Dominican has.

    Despite having a population of no more than five practitioners, Arkenfell is one of the most progressive country in the world. Through almost pure human ingenuity, Arkenfell became a landmark of one technological breakthrough after the other. With a land and population as big as Red Sword's, and technology way ahead of Red Dominique, it is Arkenfell that placed non-practitioner humans at par with the other practitioner nations. Where another nation uses chariots and swords, Arkenfell uses cars and cannons, such is the technological prowess of the Arkenfell and the humans behind it.

    The last vestige of the Nephilims have long been withering. The vast lands almost as big as Tian Dao is now nothing more but a barren wasteland. The Empire of Vlad, while still meticulously maintained by the Tartarus Council, the forlorn empire once feared far and wide seems nowhere but in an ugly downward spiral. With the very land scorched, water acidic and skies reeking with hostile magic, Vlad is best left alone.

    South of them all was a dishonored supernation known as the Golden Sands Federation. The obsession of the past people of the Federation unlocked a well of power and made possible the establishment of an order of practitioners of the highest skill known as the Order of Damocles. While most of the deviance of the Order was easily quelled and the surviving Damocles now in hiding and content in checking the power of kings and queens, Golden Sands Federation felt it owed the world a lot, hence, settling for isolation and using every drop of magic it can for medical developments.

    Wucha think people? They each have their cultures, magic systems, flora and fauna, native people and all them tedious details. I will appreciate opinions :D
  2. Asterisk

    Asterisk Troubadour

    I love the names you've chosen for your people and countries. I'm not really sure what to say....this sounds like a fantasy, but it's just a bunch of iinformation and names for me. Everything you've written all sounds really well-thought out and detailed, though. Keep working at it! :)
  3. Gurkhal

    Gurkhal Auror

    Looks cool and I particular like the Biblical themes in it.

    This looks very cool.

    You would probably want to decide what these reasons are since it seems to me that the current world and the last 150 years have pretty much been driven by these enigmatic reasons for civil war.

    The states looks ok to me, although I think that you shoulder consider removing the obvious Japanese historical terms from the Sakura Island to avoid having it feel like you decided to take a shortcut. Shogun and samurai are a little to specific, at least in my mind, to be used within a fantasy world that isn't very strongly tied to historical Japanese feudal society.
  4. Daichungak

    Daichungak Minstrel

    Love the names, and the overall idea. I agree with Gurkhal about the Japanese specific terms.
  5. DassaultMirage

    DassaultMirage Minstrel

    Researching more on what to replace the direct Japanese terms with. Thanks for the inputs.
  6. wino

    wino Dreamer

    I like the correlations it has with many of the current world powers. Maybe make them less overt, though, to keep readers immersed in your story.

    I want to know why they're fighting though. Is it because of a magical fluid substance?:D
  7. DassaultMirage

    DassaultMirage Minstrel

    Here's an excerpt from one of the last chapters. I like to write the ending first :D

    Clavicula Salomonis Regis

    “Son, this is the Lesser Key of Solomon, the container of a fallen, the entire reason for mobilizing the armies of our empires. I suppose the elders of Red Dominique told you that already,” King Arthur explained. “We already found a perfect human, a mortal without the slightest trace of the erelim arts. We will inject the fallen hiding inside the Lesser Key into him and use him to fulfill our design of a perfect world.”

    The book I spent most of my life searching was right in front of me. I was aware that I had to destroy the book to prevent the Order of the Black World from unlocking the last fallen, but I never thought that the plan of the Holy Alliance was identical. “We were given the erelim arts. We don’t have to use a fallen, if such a feat is even possible.”

    Queen Magma’s fist clenched, engulfing the stone table in flames and prompting the columns to grow even brighter. “The erelims only cared about their struggle against the fallen! We were given the erelim arts and expected to fend for ourselves! They made a pact with the fallens with a loophole so big another planet can fit in it! For how long have our race been proxies for their war? Even with these beings gone, they left the erelim arts and the nephilims to continue their battle! But now’s the chance for us to up our race, to be at par with these forces! We have to have that vessel and we have to establish New Earth!”

    King Arthur pulled her away while Rini kept the table active; the columns glowed less intense. The light of the table changed to white.

    There was a long silence. Eyes pierced my being, all appeared ready to slay me should I resist any further, but my fear was only as big as I allowed it to be.

    “The pact between the erelims and the fallens forbid them to force their wills upon humans, to force any alternation of the course of human history. Force is the key term, for in this case they are not forcing us, but rather otherwise. The kings and queens of various nations have been exploring this loophole for generations now, with the pieces of the Lesser Key being the ulterior motives for various wars, but now we are united. All we have to do now is to complete the pieces and destroy Vlad and the pesky human nations,” King Arthur added.

    The idea gutted me. I had to find out more. “Why would you want to destroy the human nations?”

    “Our prophets found the first perfect human at Arkenfell and discovered that a second one will be born in Yang. We must dispose it before its birth. We also must eliminate humans as much as the nephilims. The New Earth must be populated by humans who are at par with the Erelims, practitioners of immense skills. We have no designs for the people of Arkenfell, or of Tian Dao, the Yin and Yang Empires. They will only be liabilities for our species. In this world, the weak dies and the strong thrive. This war should’ve taught you that.” King Sky was quick to explain.

    “Perhaps the boy is very much attached to his Arkenfell-made toys?” King Arthur commented.

    “Yes, they toys we used to quell Blacksword, the renegade province of yours,” I straightened my posture and replied.

    King Arthur huffed, his eyebrows crossed. “It is by Blacksword’s folly that it was quelled. There has never been any reason to make Red Dominique feel good, much more you, a son cursed to fail in catching up with the glory of his parents!”

    “Please King Arthur, Prince Miguel, let us respect each other, for in the New Earth we are equals,” Rini’s small voice prompted a grin from King Arthur, but at least he settled down. I snorted and turned away from him.

    “You all want a world designed by the few of us here, with our designs enforced by the most powerful weapon, a Fallen? Who will call terms on this new world?” I asked, looking past the shogun to Queen Magma.

    “That’s the wrong way to see it. After the eventual extinction of the nephilims and the humans, we will use the power of the Fallen to establish the New Earth, the state of existence free from Erelim and Fallen intervention, free from wars and sufferings and deaths,” she replied, at points in her words her fists flamed up again.

    “We will be immortals, just as Damocles like you were given mana to power your fearsome spells, the vessel of the Fallen will give us more than enough mana to cast Severance,” King Sky backed up.

    The hypocrisy is getting bigger, but mine too must extend until I got answers. “What is this Severance you speak of and how will it help you to be eternal enforcers of your commandments? I must admit it’s hard to resist a world of unending peace.”

    “It is a spell that will summon immortal bodies of immeasurable power which will host the soul of the caster for eternity, severing him from mortality, making him a living god which will protect the world from further intervention of Erelims and Fallens, and from the people themselves,” King Arthur said, his tone calmed down, but I sensed his resentment towards me lingered still.

    I could not push my luck any further. I played subservient. “I have no power to stop your plans, but by untying yourselves from the anchors of this mortal world, you are tying yourselves to an immortal task, the task to untie the world from the grasps of the Fallens and Erelims, world to be tied to the ideals of peace of some human gods. Are you sure you all want to be what you all want to be?”

    “As sure as there is mana in your veins,” King Sky answered, followed by nods from King Arthur and Queen Magma.
    Rini Fukunaga smiled in agreement. “We will make sure there will be peace forever and that our race will be free from the binds of Erelims and Fallens. Of course we will set up rules that everyone must follow so the New Earth won’t fall into disarray just as the current earth, and we will enforce these rules using the Watchers. We will forever be the guardians of the New Earth once we cast Severance.”

    “Everyone’s destiny will be predetermined before they were born to make sure the social structure and the ecosystem won’t collapse, but other than that the laws of the current nations will remain, only that they will have to be enforced by the Watchers. There will only be two punishments in New Earth. Those who go against current laws will be subject to a spell that will torment their minds to a seemingly endless oblivion until their mortal bodies die, and for that duration, their madness will be made to further power the Watchers. The second punishment will be solely for those who will try to revolt against the system of New Earth. Their mortal bodies will immediately be killed, while their souls will be attached to a vacant Watcher that they may forever aid the enforcement of the laws they tried to oppose,” King Sky explained. At some points he slowed down, probably to allow me to catch up with the ideas, but I got it nonetheless.

    The world into a fishbowl, watched over by human gods whose commandments must be followed, I shudder at the thought of being in New Earth. There is an omnipotent being out there that created all, and only that being has the power to imprison or free humans, not the Holy Alliance. “What will be of Dominicans?”

    Queen Magma raised her chin and addressed me calmly. “The people of Red Dominique have been very proficient in the arts of mana, taught to them by Dominique herself, the Erelim of The Well of Life. Your people will be valuable to New Earth. I realize your prerogative. You are young, and with such quick succession that you lost your queens, you are shaken. You have to go back to your empire to settle a lot of things, but rest assured that the Holy Alliance will back your ascension to power. We will fix things here at Stonesburg and continue our search for the pieces of the Lesser Key while you settle matters in your empire. When all is done, that’s when we destroy this old world and create a new one!”

    It was the realization of my dreams, a world without Vlad and nephilims, sufferings and wars, a world for my brothers, but it was not my duty to be the judge of the world. It was a choice so crucial my body froze and my mind inside almost broke. I eyed the Lesser Key, turned around and shook my head.

    I found my father, looking well-rested in a clean suit of armor, among the generals of King Sky. Father’s eyes met mine, and I knew he was motioning for me to come to him as he smiled. I drooped. Father had made his choice. We looked away from each other.

    “Have the highest priests of your nations give Denise her last rights and send the ashes to Red Dominique. Royal Wake will take precious time. Capture her brother Franco lest you want him starting a revolt against our plans, but treat him well. Give me two ten-days to settle domestic matters, and afterwards, allow me to once more host the Holy Alliance’s grand banquet in celebration of the destruction of the old world and the creation of New Earth.”

    My first steps out of New Earth were groggy, but finally straightened as I realized I was set to commit history’s grandest double-cross.

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