dollyt8
Troubadour
It's also in the title, but I want to again highlight a trigger warning for sexual assault. Please do not read if you are likely to be affected by this or find it upsetting!
In my NaNoWriMo project, Ashbranded, I have a very important scene that I've gotten some feedback on. In the country featured in the book, characters without powers (derogatorily called ashdrains) aren't allowed to love or have physical relations with those who do have magical powers (the ashbranded). One of the characters who is descended from a long line of ashbranded is coming into her powers late. Because she's afraid she won't end up with powers and will become a second-rate citizen, she begins to unnaturally cling to anyone who she thinks will care about her, and one of those people is an ashdrain. She basically has a conversation with him in which she tries to get him to promise that he'll stay with her no matter what and she claims "I know you care for me," which he is horrified by and basically tells her she's just being emotional and he needs to get away from her. This becomes a major plot point later when she lies that he did express feelings for her and tried to trick her into falling for him.
Here's the problem I have. Originally, I was planning to write this scene as an assault. She was going to kiss him without his consent and later accuse him of phsyically assaulting her. However, I softened it because I didn't want to use sexual assault merely as a plot point considering how much this happens in real life, plus this character goes through some really awful stuff across the book and I didn't just want to keep piling it on. And it happens in the second chapter, which I feel could offput a lot of people really early in the book.
Unfortunately, when I posted this chapter of my story on a couple critique sites, people began to read romantic chemistry and "star-crossed lovers" into the relationship. I don't see the relationship between these characters as romantic; it's toxic at best and I tried to make it very clear he's extremely uncomfortable. But people seemed to think I was shoehorning in a romance that had barely been hinted at (again, it's not romantic; she's only clinging to him because she's scared for her future) or that it was fun romantic tension as opposed to disturbing. Other people seemed to feel he was just overreacting, since all she said was basically "I think you care for me." And it also seems like it would be hard to make laws that forbid ashdrains just liking ashbranded, as opposed to outlawing actual physical relations between the two. I think it works because ashdrains are so despised that most ashbranded wouldn't mind killing them just on suspicion, but I'm not sure.
I'm still pretty reluctant to make this a sexual assault scene for the aformentioned reasons, but I could see doing it if I have sensitivity readers and handle it very carefully. What are your thoughts? Is there anything additional I'm not considering here?
In my NaNoWriMo project, Ashbranded, I have a very important scene that I've gotten some feedback on. In the country featured in the book, characters without powers (derogatorily called ashdrains) aren't allowed to love or have physical relations with those who do have magical powers (the ashbranded). One of the characters who is descended from a long line of ashbranded is coming into her powers late. Because she's afraid she won't end up with powers and will become a second-rate citizen, she begins to unnaturally cling to anyone who she thinks will care about her, and one of those people is an ashdrain. She basically has a conversation with him in which she tries to get him to promise that he'll stay with her no matter what and she claims "I know you care for me," which he is horrified by and basically tells her she's just being emotional and he needs to get away from her. This becomes a major plot point later when she lies that he did express feelings for her and tried to trick her into falling for him.
Here's the problem I have. Originally, I was planning to write this scene as an assault. She was going to kiss him without his consent and later accuse him of phsyically assaulting her. However, I softened it because I didn't want to use sexual assault merely as a plot point considering how much this happens in real life, plus this character goes through some really awful stuff across the book and I didn't just want to keep piling it on. And it happens in the second chapter, which I feel could offput a lot of people really early in the book.
Unfortunately, when I posted this chapter of my story on a couple critique sites, people began to read romantic chemistry and "star-crossed lovers" into the relationship. I don't see the relationship between these characters as romantic; it's toxic at best and I tried to make it very clear he's extremely uncomfortable. But people seemed to think I was shoehorning in a romance that had barely been hinted at (again, it's not romantic; she's only clinging to him because she's scared for her future) or that it was fun romantic tension as opposed to disturbing. Other people seemed to feel he was just overreacting, since all she said was basically "I think you care for me." And it also seems like it would be hard to make laws that forbid ashdrains just liking ashbranded, as opposed to outlawing actual physical relations between the two. I think it works because ashdrains are so despised that most ashbranded wouldn't mind killing them just on suspicion, but I'm not sure.
I'm still pretty reluctant to make this a sexual assault scene for the aformentioned reasons, but I could see doing it if I have sensitivity readers and handle it very carefully. What are your thoughts? Is there anything additional I'm not considering here?