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What's your stance on public urination?

Rikilamaro

Inkling
Here's the back story to my question:

I was at the park today with my son and some friends. One of my friends is potty training her 3 year-old boy. The bathrooms at this park were locked because they haven't turned the water back on since winter. In order to get to bathroom where the boy could pee there would have been at least a ten minute drive. He would not have made this. So my friend simply took him behind a few large trees out of sight and let him go on one of them. As she was doing so an older lady walked by with her dog and said, "That's just not right. You shouldn't teach your child that. What if he does it when he's older?" She continued to rant and rave as her dog peed on the leg of one of the picnic tables surrounding the playground.

So the question becomes: should little boys be allowed to pee outside? Or is urinating in public taboo?

Thanks for your opinion. :)
 

Caged Maiden

Staff
Article Team
I'm more offended by gross drunk men than little kids... I've potty-trained three kids now, and it is what it is... That being said..... I think people should be more respectful with their dogs. Dogs who constantly mark their territory still think they are in charge..... and that is a bad precedent to set with your pet, but then people do all kinds of messed up things with their fur-babies. Mine is 80 pounds and you better believe people would have a problem if he was acting a fool.....

Relating to children... and decency in general, children can be a difficult subject, because people who don't have kids (or who aren't comfortable with nudity in general) don't know how to act when they see a naked little kid. Like that's just a societal thing, probably because we've all seen or done something which could make us sound like a sex offender. Hey, look at all the issues that surround breast-feeding in public. People feel dirty or offended if they witness it, and many women choose not to nurse their babies at all because of their own personal feelings, rather than doing the best thing they can for their child (I know some people are not able to or are advised not to for medical reasons, and I support anyone's decision to do whatever they want...) But people react like you're doing something indecent even if you are being extremely discreet. Trust me, there is nothing sexy about nursing an infant.... not even close. It is convenient and healthy and I love burning 300 calories a day though!

My point is, that many people don't have children, or don't remember what it's like because they grow up so fast. Anything which makes us feel inappropriate leaves a guilty feeling, and where children are concerned, that guilt can sort of leave some people feeling weird.

Personally, I am disgusted by adults who can't maintain decency, not children. A three-year old peeing discreetly out of the public eye doesn't even rank on my scale of decency... well it's well under passing gas in an elevator at least..... :) If your friend was offended by the old woman... tell her that other moms at least understand.
 

topazfire

Minstrel
Hmm.. how many people pull over on the side of the road to find a tree when they can't make it to the next rest stop on the highway? (point made?) I know that it a bit different because usually you would be in the middle of nowhere and not in a public park, but still.

I think the important thing with potty training (I don't have kids yet, but babysat a lot) is that if the child recognize that they have to go, is that they have to go now (!). What kind of impact would it have had if mummy had said "no, you can't" instead of finding a solution. It might have been a huge setback for him. I believe that girls should also be taught to pee outside (in appropriate locations, behind sufficient coverage), so they do not freak out about it when they are older and find it to be a necessity (or get turned off of hard core camping because there is no flush toilet).

The old lady has a right to her opinion, and I'm sure the police in your jurisdiction would have something to say about public indecency (depending on your local laws). There is plenty of time to teach the boy when it is, and is not, an appropriate time to pee outside.

One Canada Day (our National Holiday) a couple years ago, a drunk young reveler pee'd at our National War Memorial, on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier - it has been under constant guard ever since and the young man was fined and had to make a national public apology. I'm sure your friend will teach her children not to pee on national memorials.

As for the old lady's dog - he should aim for it next time... :)
 
I guess the real question was answered before you asked.

A it is a little kid. and B the restrooms were locked providing for a NEED to do that.

However, full grown men who are doing that are just nasty. Little kids, I don't mind I mean what a tablespoon of urin is not a big deal.

But men please, use the rest room before you leave. No one wants to see that, walk in that, or smell that. >.>
 

Devor

Fiery Keeper of the Hat
Moderator
I think the important thing with potty training (I don't have kids yet, but babysat a lot) is that if the child recognize that they have to go, is that they have to go now (!).

This. It's either the bushes or the pants. Have a heart, crazy-old-lady-who-never-had-kids.
 

Amanita

Maester
In case of children, I see nothing wrong with this at all. My sister and I used to do too, when we were small, hidden behind bushes, though it's been in the forest and not in a public park. In the case of a child that age in such a situation, I really can't see the problem.
In case of adults, it's okay if they're hidden from view too in my opinion. And if it's happening somewhere with earth underneath. Dogs do it there all the time, and it isn't any more unhealthy in case of humans. But this probably isn't these people's main problem. Anihow's got it right probably.
 

Legendary Sidekick

The HAM'ster
Moderator
The only thing I find offensive is adults who can't deal with children in public. The three-year-old did nothing wrong, and the old lady's question, "What if he does that when he's older?" is practically an admission that age is a factor; it's okay when you're little.


We had a power failure in my town the other day--the whole town! So we ended up going to a restaurant in another town not associated with National Grid. We showed up with our daughters (ages 4 & 2) and, fortunately, my wife didn't see the glares coming from every table. The glares were understandable when we walked in with kids, but inconsiderate once it became obvious that our kids know how to behave in fine restaurants. One old lady, dining with her iPad, replied to the waitress when asked about dessert said she'd wait "until the kids are gone."

I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was afraid that the sight of dessert would upset the kids since we weren't ordering dessert, but her tone implied "until the ****ing kids are gone."


I think both of these old ladies deserve to be peed on by a three-year-old boy.
 
My stance? Legs apart, leaning forward slightly.

I've got two kids, and they've both peed in public plenty of times (behind trees, hedges, etc.). Sometimes there's just no public bathrooms around and they suddenly need to go. So, they water the trees.

For kids, I have no objection, just as long as they're a little discreet about it; adults (extenuating circumstances aside, like bladder control problems) should go find a bathroom.
 

Caged Maiden

Staff
Article Team
Regarding nudity.....

Nothing is worse than having a wet car-seat that you have to go home and wash... you do what you need to. How would people feel about it if I had to strip kids naked to get into the car?

I regularly camp in big old groups of hundreds of people, and maybe I'm a bit desensitized, but people maintain a level of decency even there regarding nudity and elimination.... hell one time, (after I had camped a day and night in a desert in July) I felt so grungy I just needed a bath.... So I walked for about 3 minutes into the woods and had me a bath with a bar of soap and bottle of water. If anyone witnessed it, they've not mentioned... so HA! decency was not compromised.

It's about being neighborly to me, but little kids are what they are..... People need to get over their weird feelings about accidentally seeing exposed children and realize that to them, it's as natural a thing as any to be naked. If you don't shame them, they carry on and learn as they mature. I'm more offended by some dogs who have constantly raised curly tails.... you know?
 
No big deal for me, if a kid needs to go they need to go. Stopping them does more harm than good.

It used to be a two mile walk to my kids old school, and because neither me or my wife drive, it was a long walk to school for the little ones (the new school is a lot closer thankfully). I often had to take the kids into the bushes because they simply couldn't make it to school on time. Can you imagine the looks I would have got from staff if my kids had turned up wet with urine?

I have my own bitter old lady story too. I was once in a supermarket, when an old lady started having a go at me, because my three year old girl was not wearing knickers and had bent over. It seems that my little girl had removed her knickers while I was at a friends house without my knowing it. The nosey old lady loudly complained that by letting my daughter go without knickers, I was encouraging paedophiles, and that I should have been ashamed of myself.

So after thanking her for bringing my daughters lack of knickers to the attention of any nearby perverts, I asked her to kindly mind her own business and bugger off.

At the end of the day how I raise my child is my own business, not anyone else's. And being old doesn't automatically mean these people are right - wisdom does not automatically come with age!
 

Saigonnus

Auror
Normally if they are children, there is nothing wrong with public urination (boys or girls alike) if circumstances don't allow access to a bathroom since their bladders are so little and holding it could cause bladder infections.

I think adults are okay too, but ONLY under extenuating circumstances. A guy whipping it out in a park with bathroom facilities 100 feet away or even 100 yards away is one thing. I remember being on a long road trip through the mountains. It was October and snowing heavily, causing them to close the road. We were the last ones let through, but we had to stop to put on snow chains. When we started moving again, we were driving at 5mph from an accident further up on the highway and eventually had to stop completely. One by one we all got out of the car and went into the bushes off the side of the highway because we were there holding it for nearly 2 hours. This I would classify as "extenuating" circumstances.
 
You know what really kills me, more than the people who feel then need to make a point about peeing... are the ones who make a huge stink about breastfeeding.
I mean really now, breasts are not toys, yes they might be fun to play with boys but at the end of the day they were designed to feed your children! Don't like it don't look!
 

Saigonnus

Auror
That too... Many women that breastfeed in public will cover themsevles for sake of modesty at any rate. I find nothing wrong with naked breasts in public and not just because I am a man. Human nature being what it is, before the 1900s women have ALWAYS breastfed their children because they didn't really have much of a choice otherwise. It is the "prudes" in modern society that makes it seem wrong, those same prudes that want to immasculate statues or censor works of art/literature. I think we should allow it to be shown more on television (covered of course) so young women won't get the idea that it's wrong and feed their baby formula when they become a mother later on. Formula is good for when you are not lactating or here and there, but nothing is better for a baby than their mom's milk.
 
Right!

I had someone go ballistic when I was feeding my son at a store years ago.

Now I'm a private person, I had a feeding blanket everything was covered up nicely and this "Woman" had a fit and told me to take it in to the bathroom...


I just had to ask her, "Do you eat in the restroom?"

That shut her right up. :p

My son never got formula. I pumped enough and stored it that if his father wanted to feed him he could. When I lost my milk I was still able to avoid formula for a good number of months :) By then he was starting on real food so it was not a big deal.

People need to chill out. I often wonder if some of these people suffer from High BP? Seems to me they would if they get so worked up so easily.
 
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Rikilamaro

Inkling
Well, actually I do eat in the restroom. You caught me!

I completely agree though. I breast fed my son in public and thankfully never had anyone say anything about it. It's the most natural way to feed your child. I don't understand why people these days don't see that a woman's naked breast is just like a cow's udder. Do we make cows, cats, dogs, etc cover up when feeding their young? Then why can't we as a society get over teh 'naked' issue and understand that what is best for the well being and healthy development of a child is best for everyone. My chid may be your doctor someday, or he may build a bridge you drive on. I hope he got the proper nutrition as a child to help his brain develop sufficiently and let his neuropathways grow. Otherwise you may be dead.
I'm being extreme. I'm aware of this.
 
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