• Welcome to the Fantasy Writing Forums. Register Now to join us!

Writing from the Female POV

Centerfield97

Troubadour
I have found it difficult to write from the female POV thus far...is it all about just practice, and getting women to read and critique your work for accuracy? Or are there some tricks to how you should approach the writing? Writing from the opposite gender has always proved difficult for me.
 

Devor

Fiery Keeper of the Hat
Moderator
I have found it difficult to write from the female POV thus far...is it all about just practice, and getting women to read and critique your work for accuracy? Or are there some tricks to how you should approach the writing? Writing from the opposite gender has always proved difficult for me.

Loosely and very broadly speaking, women think more about people and less about abstract ideas than men do. So far as "tricks" go, I think that's the best one. "Wait, why is my woman character talking about losing the war when fifty people were just killed? Her first thought would be along the lines of the people affected by their loss, and questions like 'how many more'?" She can use those thoughts to come to same conclusions about what they should do, but her perspective would likely be more about the people directly while a man's would be more likely to think about the war broadly.

That distinction, as a trend, I understand to be generally accepted to be somewhat hardwired into the chemicals in the brain. It would still only be a trend, there are no absolutes.
 
A lot of what Dev said, but my advice is that it seems you might be putting yourself in the pov instead of the character. Which is why it might seem awkward. Try fleshing the character out some, see how her personality is, feel for it like she's your best friend, then give it a shot by imagining what 'she' would say about things.

A lot about pov is gained through practice and characterization helps a long way towards getting comfortable in that second skin, even if it isn't your gender. And gender does play a part but do remember that any personality can develop given the right circumstances, so don't feel limited. To me I treat this as being an actor, like how Heath Ledger became the Joker. You got to get into their flesh and see the world with their eyes.
 
Last edited:
Woman react emotionally, men logically. As noted above, it's a generalization, not universal truth.

I tend to write from a female POV because it's a good way to keep the feelings of your characters in focus. Women are better at reading emotion and will act to improve the mood of those around them. They talk more, which gives you more opportunity to show the processes going on inside them. Women tend to have more-complex mental states, so they make more-interesting characters.

The other reason is that I grew up around women, so I misunderstand them less than most males. At least I think so.
 

Devor

Fiery Keeper of the Hat
Moderator
Woman react emotionally, men logically.

I'm sorry, but I think that's a terrible "trick" for understanding the difference. Anger is an emotion, and men certainly get angry. And is there something somehow "illogical" about the way women think? I know you may have meant something inoffensive - your following points suggest as much - but in terms of a guiding aphorism, that's just bad.
 

Amanita

Maester
Some views on women that are still around even among intelligent people in 21th century western countries really shock me still, I have to admit. This isn't directed at anyone of you, but through my studies of history I'm all too familiar with the idea of women=emotional and men=rational leading to ideas about only men being real humans and women something closer to animals because they aren't supposed to be capable of rational thought. These ideas have been around since the so-called enlightenment all through to the first half of the twentieth century. Maybe I'm some lowly being incapable of really thinking, and therefore this irrational allergy against such ideas, but I'm not really prepared to accept it.

I have my doubts about those ideas about psychological things being solely determined by biology. And some of these ideas are creating all those annoying and useless female characters who care about nothing besides the question if their true love really loves them or not and all those other cliches around.
There probably will be women in your family, among your friends and collegues, how do they react to certain events? Watching other people around you can prove very helpful for writing even though you shouldn't do it too obviously of course. ;) Other men will be very different from you as well.
Besides that, I don't think you have to worry about this too much. If your character is one who ix more leaning towards "masculine" behaviour because the story demands its, there won't be many people who mind, I daresay.
 
Last edited:

Reaver

Staff
Moderator
I don't think that writing from this POV is really that much different from writing a male POV. As I've mentioned in other threads, my MC is a 19 year old woman named Imani who's very intelligent, quick-witted, strong-willed and an excellent fighter.
In my opinion, you've just gotta keep your MC honest. Their gender is superfluous.
 

Reaver

Staff
Moderator
I am really annoyed when they say that women are always emotional and men are rational!! Women can be emotionally cold while men can have deep emotions too, we are not all the same depending on gender =P

Well put. I couldn't agree more!
 

Devor

Fiery Keeper of the Hat
Moderator
To try and get back to the topic a little, here's a great scientific piece about the differences in brain activity between men and women. There are some genuine differences between men and women which can make it challenging to write one gender or the other effectively, so I hope this article will help to address those differences without being bothered by bigotry or fears about being PC.

10 Big Differences Between Men’s and Women’s Brains | Masters of Healthcare
 

Sheilawisz

Queen of Titania
Moderator
Interesting, Devor!! Anyway I do not have the writing problem described in this thread, because my characters are a different species that I know perfectly well- I do not have to worry about accurately describing the reactions and feelings of human characters, and I love that about my worlds =)
 

Legendary Sidekick

The HAM'ster
Moderator
A lot of what Dev said, but my advice is that it seems you might be putting yourself in the pov instead of the character. Which is why it might seem awkward. Try fleshing the character out some, see how her personality is, feel for it like she's your best friend, then give it a shot by imagining what 'she' would say about things.

A lot about pov is gained through practice and characterization helps a long way towards getting comfortable in that second skin, even if it isn't your gender. And gender does play a part but do remember that any personality can develop given the right circumstances, so don't feel limited. To me I treat this as being an actor, like how Heath Ledger became the Joker. You got to get into their flesh and see the world with their eyes.
I completely agree... and wonder if my post will be useless because maybe everything I want to say has already been stated here much more eloquently.

But when I saw the title of this thread, the first thing I thought of was my MC's love interest. She's based on my wife. I also have a male character who befriends my MC and dies. I wanted him to be likable in a way that would NOT seem like I'm setting up a tragic character, so I based his personality on that of a friend who's kind of a wise-ass.

In short, what I did to make a female character work is no different than what I did to make a male character work. I gave each a personality.

I actually do that with all of my characters, but these are the only two major characters whose personalities come from one real life person that isn't me.
 

Taytortots

Minstrel
I think there are a few differences, but not all that many. I used to believe that men and women thought so differently that i'd never be able to write in a male point of view. After reading through books by both men and women authors, and with men and women main characters, I found that they were incredibly similar, more so than I thought it would be. I think it's us, as authors, that try to over think it and make it into something that isn't.
On top of that, I'd like to say that as a women who is categorized as a tomboy, people don't always fall into the categories they are supposed to. There are women who are terribly emotional, and men who are very emotional. I can go on and on, but I wont. Just think of the character as a person going through the events, not a women.
 

ascanius

Inkling
I am really annoyed when they say that women are always emotional and men are rational!! Women can be emotionally cold while men can have deep emotions too, we are not all the same depending on gender =P

I have always found women to be irrational, I cannot seem to get my head around them whatsoever. Sorry ladies, to me you are an enigma wrapped in an illusion but I like the difference it's enlightening to learn a different way of thinking. Does that mean women are any less capable of logic than a man, no. But from what I have observed women tend to include emotion in their logic. The major thing though is that I have been told by man friends that they do not understand the logic of men. I have to say that I do not see a problem with any of this, so what if we think about the same topic along different paths one is no less right than the other, just different.

As to how to write from the female POV I find that having a good understanding of the characters story and personality is what writes that characters POV. Using a generic template for either sex is bad, not because of stereotyping and whatever but because you are writing about a single person. This means you are showing how She solves problems she is confronted with and not how a population of women solves a problem.

However I do think some differences among the sexes need to addressed for instance women are physically weaker than a man. Also women tend to empathize with those around them to a much greater degree than a male would.

Now to throw a wrench in the gears, though I don't know how well this works with women. There is a difference in how children, boys and girls think and act. For instance girls tend to ask for help more often then boys do. Boys on the other hand don't ask for help often and are a lot more rambunctious than girls. What about environmental influences? The professor, a women, went on to say that her best friend was trying to raise her children in a gender neutral environment. She told us that her daughter was the girly-est girl she had ever met.
 

Amanita

Maester
The professor, a women, went on to say that her best friend was trying to raise her children in a gender neutral environment. She told us that her daughter was the girly-est girl she had ever met.
Well, the mother probably wasn't the only influence on the child. (Or at least I hope so.)

I highly doubt the claim that men are always "rational" while women are not. Or why else do so many men in powerful position get themselves into trouble by having extra-marital affairs, visiting prostitutes and (allegedly) forcing women to have sex with them. Feelings seem to dominate male behaviour as well, even though they may not necessarily be empathy and compassion. ;)

In my opinion, the obvious (and un-disputed) biological differences between men and women should matter to a female character in some way. For a woman, spontanous sex can have lasting consequences even if both people involved are healthy. ;) Therefore it is plausible that some women will be less inclined to that kind of thing than men in a setting without effective birth control. Or she takes the risk and actually does get pregnant...
The menstrual cycle is also affecting women and might involve pain or discomfort on certain days of the month. How a female character is dealing with this isn't unimportant to her character either.
For some reason, this has been a subject laced with disgust and maybe fear by men and many women for centuries but that doesn't mean that it can't and shouldn't be adressed.
(Male) writers who want to describe the differences between men and women but keep to the parts where they can feel comfortable in their supposed superiority aren't giving the biological aspects more respect than those who ignore other differences.
No offense against the many male forum members here, this is a general thing. Many female fantasy characters are still lacking in substance and usually top the lists of "cliched characters" for a reason.
 
Many female fantasy characters are still lacking in substance and usually top the lists of "cliched characters" for a reason.

So true. Unfortunately, a lot of those cliche female characters are written by women, especially in YA fantasy. :)

I agree with the people who say "give them a personality." The majority of my characters are at least loosely based on interesting people that I know, so I don't have to ask myself "How would a man react?" but "How would Will react?" (answer: not very visibly). The handful of characters that spontaneously create themselves in my head have personalities so strong that gender stereotypes don't seem to matter much.

I did notice that when I try to write typical highly masculine characters, I have to go back and take out about 50% of their dialogue in my second draft. However, if the masculine character is the POV character, I switch what I can to internal monologue. It's my way of thinking (and someone can correct me if I'm wrong) that men typically think as much as women, they just don't say as much (though of course, some do... like my brother-in-law... he's a big talker).

Also, something I've noticed in myself that I think is fairly universal (though of course, not entirely, as I'm sure someone will point out) most women need the company of other adult women on a semi-regular basis. If I can't hang out with my friends for long stretches of time I tend to get cranky. And I think it's good to point out (like Devor's article did) that woman-woman friendships are different that man-man friendships, and both are different from man-woman friendships. Personally I think the dynamics you find in those differences make for fun writing. :)
 

J. S. Elliot

Inkling
If I can put my two cents' worth in, I'd like to know why men have such a difficult time writing female characters. From the perspective of a female, male characters aren't difficult at all. Could I ask for an example of what you [theoretical "you", not any one person - only if applicable] might struggle with, and why?
 
Last edited:
I may be rehashing the whole "personality" thing again, but it really is important. When you create a character, you don't just give them a name and a gender and say "Okay, this person is a woman, and needs to act and talk like a woman," or say "He's the hero. He needs to manly and heroic." You need to dive into this character and make them someone memorable. Even if it's something as small as giving him a simple mentality and a certain way of saying certain words, it can take a minor little something and turn it into someone your readers will remember. Once you know kind of who your character is, regardless of the gender, it becomes easier to write for them. I switch back and forth between male and female characters all the time, and I don't seem to have any trouble, personally.

You just need to make your characters feel a little more alive, and then the whole process becomes much easier.
 
If I can put my two cents' worth in, I'd like to know why men have such a difficult time writing female characters. From the perspective of a female, male characters aren't difficult at all. Could I ask for an example of what you [theoretical "you", not any one person - only if applicable] might struggle with, and why?

I think this is the natural consequence of how fiction typically treats being female as being different from the default. Men are written as people first, so writers who need a model for a male character can look back at all the male characters they've read about, and use them to write a person. Women are written as women first, so anyone who doesn't understand the model of "women" presented in traditional narratives, and who assumes that real women all fit that model of "women", won't be able to write a female character. (Incidentally, I believe that a woman who's written as a person first can be a model for a later male, and vice versa.)
 

Penpilot

Staff
Article Team
Whether it's writing Male, Female, Caucasian, Chinese, Black, Purple, Red, etc... I don't think you should be thinking about writing a convincing/real one of those. IMHO, instead asking yourself if a female would react like X, I think asking would my character named Alice react like X?

Humans come in infinite variations so almost anything is fair game as long as it's written well. I mean sometimes you have women who wear the pants in a relationship and others not. Some of the women I know are just one of the guys -- and no, they're not gay -- and others I know are kind of girly-girls. There are gay men who are manly-men and gay men who are the stereotypical flamboyant. There are butch lesbians and girly lesbians. All this and all the points in between.

So to be thinking along the lines of just women and men is IMHO limiting yourself.
 
Top