Writing pain or an injury.

[Aosto]

This is in response to a previous thread of mine, but I feel it needs it's own discussion.

In my opening scene my MC is struck in the shoulder by an arrow. His initial response is to locate the source of the arrow and avoid further injury. He felt a sudden pressure below his shoulder blade, his arm weakened, but there was no immediate reaction to pain.
In my own experience, having broken several bones, I find that pain isn't the immediate reaction. I have always located the injury, assessed my damage, and assessed what caused the injury however pain was not my first thought.
Take for example when I broke my collar bone while ridding my bike. My first reaction was "I fell" my second reaction was "the bike is on me" and I then attempted to get the bike off me with the affected arm, only noticing a decrease in function. Thirdly i though "I should get up" again using the arm that was rendered useless after applying pressure to it. I then evaluated the cause, the ramp broke causing my tire to hit the curb and flip the bike forward making me land nose first and flipping over the handlebars.
I only felt pain about 30 minutes later on the way to the doctor. It was similar when breaking my ankle in skateboarding.

So, my question is, how do you respond to injury in a novel. If your character is shot by an arrow does he immediately squeal out in pain? I think he would not, obviously pain will follow and that will be clarified, but the initial response shouldn't be pain.

 

[BWFoster78]

Whenever I've suffered an injury, pain has been my first response.

 

[Ankari]

Good question Aosto,

There are a few levels of injury with different reactions.

Level 1

Minor cuts or scraps. You feel the full pain from these injuries as they usually occur when you are doing idle activities. Idle means "anything that doesn't not involve a state of mind or physical activity that produces adrenaline." I would note the pain right away. Ex. Last night, I was at a hospital removing a gown from my torso. My pinched the sleeve with my thumb and forefinger. For some reason, I used my thumbnail. By the time I removed the sleeve, I cut my finger with my thumbnail and I immediately felt the pain.

Level 2

Minor cuts and scraps while doing physical activity. You never feel the pain from these injuries. I've had my shin covered in blood from a wound in my knee while playing football. I never would have realized it until someone pointed out the blood. We play on artificial turf. When you dive for a catch you'll end up with severe rug-burn type injuries. You don't feel it at all until the game is over and your body relaxes.

Level 3

Moderate injuries. When I was a kid I was stupid enough to shave a stick incorrectly. I held the stick reversed in my hand and cut towards my hand. Well, the knife slipped and cut into my wrist. I didn't feel the pain immediately because of the shock of seeing this well of blood streaming down my forearm.

I once got into a fist fight with a group of teenagers. It was me and two other friends against a group of 8 or so teenagers. I grabbed a guy and beat his head with my fist. I had two other guys on my back doing the same with me. I didn't feel the pain caused by their blows for a couple reasons: They were physically smaller than I was and my level of rage allowed for the indifference to the pain. I did feel the blows, but not the pain. You would describe the visual and after effects of the injury before the pain.

Level 4

Severe injuries such as stabbings and gunshot wounds. I've fortunately never been in a situation where I suffered either of those injuries, but I have heard accounts of them before. I have been in 3 severe care accidents, though. It's always the same. The victim doesn't feel the pain because of the cortisol and adrenaline pumping through your body. The initial pain sometimes is so overwhelming that the nervous system cannot register the pain. You feel the after effects, like getting shot in the leg and finding yourself stumbling instead of running. Or betting shot in the chest and finding yourself on the ground looking up at the sky. You would describe the after effects first, then the visuals of the wound. When the person calms down, the pains will become dominant.

 

[JonSnow]

I've dislocated my shoulder about a dozen times (old baseball injury from college) in my life. The first time, I knew immediately I was in trouble because I couldn't move my arm, and my first reaction was a subconscious "i can't believe this just happened" feeling. Then, I started to feel light headed and sick to my stomach until I was able to calm myself down (shock). At that point, pain was secondary. It wasn't until I was being driven to the hospital that I REALLY noticed how much pain I was in.

In the many times since, I have not felt the "shock" part, because I have experienced the injury before. In fact, I am able to pop it back in myself, Lethal Weapon style. I think the reaction is also affected by how familiar the person is to that injury. If you've shredded your knee multiple times, the second and third time isn't as terrifying because you've survived it before. Same thing (I am imagining, since I have never experienced it) with an arrow to a non-vital part of the body... I would think some grizzled war veteran who had been hit by a half dozen arrows in his life isn't as affected as the young kid being shot for the first time.

 

[ShortHair]

All good points so far. I'd add that different people have different pain thresholds. One person will scream in agony from a paper cut, while another will shrug off a broken leg (so to speak). My threshold is fairly high, so I am aware of the pain, but it doesn't incapacitate me. In fact, I'm in some pain at the moment, but I can still write.

To answer your question, most people would go into shock from a serious wound. The body slows itself down to minimize the loss of blood. The issue then becomes, what does the body consider a "serious wound"? If the arrow goes through muscle and not a lung or major blood vessel, your character might continue to function normally. As you note, the pain will come later.

 

[Aosto]

So it would be safe then to write the immediate effects of an arrow piercing the shoulder. The pain would be secondary to the initial response of "there is an arrow in my shoulder. Who shot the arrow. Where should I go to avoid another arrow." My MC is no amateur when it comes to pain, his own tongue has been cut out at a young age.
I like the idea of writing about the shock response, it wouldn't be nearly as high given his experience with injury, but non-the-less there will be a shock response as it's human nature.
Just last week I underwent an outpatient surgery, although I was numb and felt no pain (I do now) I had a shock reaction. I was drenched in sweat and very sick to my stomach up until the point that I passed out. My body told me something was wrong even though the pain was not there.

 

[JonSnow]

So it would be safe then to write the immediate effects of an arrow piercing the shoulder. The pain would be secondary to the initial response of "there is an arrow in my shoulder. Who shot the arrow. Where should I go to avoid another arrow." My MC is no amateur when it comes to pain, his own tongue has been cut out at a young age.
I like the idea of writing about the shock response, it wouldn't be nearly as high given his experience with injury, but non-the-less there will be a shock response as it's human nature.
Just last week I underwent an outpatient surgery, although I was numb and felt no pain (I do now) I had a shock reaction. I was drenched in sweat and very sick to my stomach up until the point that I passed out. My body told me something was wrong even though the pain was not there.

Maybe have his shock response (nausea, light headedness, blurring vision, etc.) do battle with his "logical" response, which would be to find the shooter so they can't hit him again.

 

[Aosto]

Maybe have his shock response (nausea, light headedness, blurring vision, etc.) do battle with his "logical" response, which would be to find the shooter so they can't hit him again.

That's a rather good idea, this is also written in first person POV so the internal thought struggle should be interesting.

 

[Anders Ämting]

This is an interesting subject. Might actually fit better in the Research forum as a resource for writing injuries.

 

[Ankari]

Like someone said, if your MC is a seasoned warrior, there wouldn't be a shock response. He would fall to the ground, against the wall, or stumble back. He would then grow angry, curse, dive out of the way of any additional shots or drop into a crouch. He would then immediately start scanning for the source of the arrow. If he is secure enough, he would break the arrow above the wound so that it's not in the way (pulling it out may cause too much blood loss). Next, would be whatever you want him to do (fight, flee, open a dialogue).

 

[Aosto]

This is an interesting subject. Might actually fit better in the Research forum as a resource for writing injuries.

Yes, I agree. I wasn't sure exactly what forum it should go under. This would be considered a topic of research though, so that does make sense.

 

[Aosto]

Ankari, my MC is a thief, but has experienced pain just not as much as say a soldier. Luckily, the shooter isn't skilled and didn't have much pull behind the shot so only the arrow head and a half inch of the shaft goes into the body. The remainder of the shaft breaks off after he falls into the wall of the wagon.

 

[Benjamin Clayborne]

I've only ever experienced one severe traumatic incident. I was really drunk, I jumped up in the air for some reason, and landed on the line dividing the sidewalk/parkway. My foot rolled under and I sprained my ankle horribly. It was the second most painful thing I've ever experienced. I was screaming so loud they almost called 911 but I pointed out (between screams of pain) that I could still move it and moving it didn't make the pain change, so it was probably just a sprain and didn't require emergency attention.

I've never understood the "feel no pain at first" thing; every time I get any injury of any kind, I immediately feel loads of pain. So, there's a data point for you.

(FYI, the most painful thing I ever experienced was a kidney stone, but that came only slowly over the course of half an hour or so.)

 

[Lorna]

Whenever I am injured I feel pain. The general pattern I get is hearing and seeing the injury and feeling my body being shifted by the impact first, then initial pain, the pain gets worse, I feel shaky and start panicking about how bad it is as I attempt to assess it.

1) Kicked in the ribs by a horse: Thunk knocked backward, moment of darkness (I think my eyes shut on reflex), knocked into the stable door behind me, open my eyes panicking the horse is going to do it again, can't breathe, stabbing pain in my ribs. Fear over-rides it because my first perogative is to get out of the stable. Out, shut the door, bowed over, struggling for breath, pain getting worse by the breath, realise I'm shaking. Pain eases off a bit so I struggle through my jobs close to tears. That was bad bruising. I ended up on pain killers for two weeks.

2) Broken big toe and sprained foot at Tae Kwondo- Crack Searing pain across my foot and can hardly walk on it.

3) Little toe crushed by horse- Crunch (you just know that's not good). "Get the **** off my foot!" Pain gets worse with every step across the field. Get back to the mobile home and can barely get my boot off, it's throbbing like mad. Start freaking out when I see its totally bent. Still not right today.

That's the general pattern I go with when my MC gets injured. He's more hardened than me but he still feels it.

The way I'd write an arrow wound to the shoulder would be hearing / seeing it and getting knocked back by the impact, dealing with the threat with a partial awareness of the pain. Then when the danger's over, the pain hits, the character feels off but is seasoned enough to deal with it and assess the wound. Writing that type of injury without pain seems unrealistic to me.

 

[Aosto]

Here is a mock up of the scene where the arrow hits him. Let me know your thoughts.
A force struck me in the left shoulder, my body spun to the right and dropped instinctively to it’s knees. Craning my neck I could see it, a slender black shaft of an arrow with red fletching. Warmth emanated from the wound that I could only assess was blood. The second arrow slammed into the wall of the wagon causing me to fall back, my head cracking against the wheel; the shaft of the arrow breaking off.
Through blurred eyes I scanned the rooftops, nooks, shadows, anywhere for the source of the arrow. The feeling of warmth from the wound spreading through the rest of me. My stomach turned when I drop down and rolled under the wagon to the other side. The cool stone providing no relief from the intense heat I was feeling. Using my arm as support proved useless, my body collapsing back to the ground as I tried to stand.

 

[Ankari]

Aosto,

Move this question to Showcase. You're going to get better and more thorough responses there. Also, such requests belong in that forum.

 

[Chime85]

A force struck me in the left shoulder, my body spun to the right and dropped instinctively to it’s knees. Craning my neck I could see it, a slender black shaft of an arrow with red fletching. Warmth emanated from the wound that I could only assess was blood. The second arrow slammed into the wall of the wagon causing me to fall back, my head cracking against the wheel; the shaft of the arrow breaking off.
Through blurred eyes I scanned the rooftops, nooks, shadows, anywhere for the source of the arrow. The feeling of warmth from the wound spreading through the rest of me. My stomach turned when I drop down and rolled under the wagon to the other side. The cool stone providing no relief from the intense heat I was feeling. Using my arm as support proved useless, my body collapsing back to the ground as I tried to stand.

This is much better, you have taken the reader into what the mc was feeling at that time. I highlighted a small point which if I may, suggest a slight alteration.

A force struck me in the left shoulder. My body spun to the right as I dropped instinctively to my knees.

Apart from that, you definately have something cooking here

 

[Kit]

Serious martial artists often become fairly sanguine about pain, and I would expect it to be the same with a professional warrior. We face pain every day, and most of us have had a lot of injuries of various levels. What really matters to us- especially at the moment of injury- is classifying it as to "how much is this causing an impairment of FUNCTION for me".

If I'm sparring, and the opponent lands a strike, I usually feel the pain- but I am sort of "removed" from it. I know it's there ("Okay, that was a solid kick to the knee- uh oh"), but it's not important. What's important is, "Is it still fully functional- and if not, to what extent am I impaired".

If you're still fully functional, you "shake it off"- I visualize it as just putting the pain in a box on a shelf because I don't have time to deal with it right now- and continue as before.

If you may not still be fully functional, that leads to "how am I going to have to modify my fight to compensate?" I may need to finish the guy off quick before he notices I'm limping- or before the injury starts to stiffen up- or maybe I want to try to take the fight to the ground where the injured knee won't be as much of an impairment.

Honestly, no matter how bad the injury is (I've broken several ribs and digits multiple times, and had some nasty ankle and wrist sprains, and all sorts of things)- at this point my first thought is "Is this going to put me on the bench, and if so, for how long... dammit" That's a lot more important to me than the pain. Pain is just pain.

 

[Jared]

I've taken what you wrote and made some suggestions and asked a few questions. Hope if helps your thoughts.

Craning my neck I could see it, a slender black shaft of an arrow with red fletching. Warmth emanated from the wound that I could only assess was blood.

My personal experience makes me not really believe this. I had shoulder surgery (martial arts injury) and I could not move my neck like that. If the arrow went through the tissue like the surgeon did, then I don't think the character could do this easily. Also, if the arrow shocked the tissue and/or he had been physically active before this, I wonder whether he'd feel the warmth of the blood. [Do arrow wounds with the arrow still in bleed much?]

Through blurred eyes I scanned the rooftops, nooks, shadows, anywhere for the source of the arrow.

If he's feeling the pain, then he's thinking about the pain, his vision being blurred, and looking for the arrow source. I would suggest changing the "Through blurred eyes" to a modifier of what's seen (especially since the vision's blurred, not the eyes themselves) or including another action.

In sparring, when I've been hit in the eye, I didn't think about my vision being blurry. I just focused on seeing my opponent through the blur.

Maybe something like "I scanned the blurred rooftops, nooks, and shadows for the source of the arrow." Except not poorly written as just an example.

My stomach turned when I drop down and rolled under the wagon to the other side.

Did he just roll over an injured shoulder that still has an arrow in it?

Using my arm as support proved useless, my body collapsing back to the ground as I tried to stand.

If the hit is to the shoulder and he's recognizing the pain, I don't think he'd try to use it to push himself up. He's tuck it in close and instinctively use the other arm.

 

[Marlyn Almyr]

Whenever I get hurt or injured, no matter how severe, my first reaction is not pain. In fact the more severe the injure is, the longer it takes for me to begin feeling the pain. My first thought is usually, "What the hell happened?" Then I move on to looking for blood, bruises, etc. If I feel any pain, I assess if there is need for a doctor and how impaired I am. Like, can I still walk?

For example: When I was ten...maybe eleven...I was riding my bike in the road (which was on a slight hill) as fast as I possibly could and needless to say, I lost my balance and crashed. The impact took a layer of skin off of my knee and my elbow impacted with a rock that made a hole in my elbow so deep that I could nearly see the bone. I never felt pain though. Seeing blood was my first clue that I was even hurt. I don't think I went into shock or anything like that because I was able to think clearly and stand up and walk all the way back to the house with my bike. I only knew how seriously my elbow was hurt when I realized I could not straighten it out. I spent hours in the hospital with a doctor cleaning the dirt out, which was caked into my elbow and knee. Besides a few slight stings, I did not feel a thing. However, I did wake up that night because I was cold and shaking. This I assume was my body finally registering the extent of the damage and going into shock, but it did NOT hurt.

Also, a few years ago while enjoying eight inches of beautiful snow, I slipped and pulled a muscle in my knee. This did hurt, but after sticking my knee deep into the snow so it would get numb and telling myself it did not hurt, It stopped hurting. So I got up and continued to enjoy the day. After coming in, I did start to feel sore and my knee just couldn't take the weight of my body without pain, but if I just thought to myself "It doesn't hurt." I could walk without too much pain. This is actually how I deal with any physical pain. I just don't look at whatever is hurt and say a few times to myself "It doesn't hurt." and the pain goes away. So, I would say that your MC could be seriously injured and not be in pain. Some people have an extremely high tolerance for pain or just know how to ignore the pain and control themselves especially when in a life or death situation.