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Thread: Random thoughts

  1. #2621
    Member Futhark's Avatar
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    I had a psychotic break 5 years ago (I'm bipolar) and became a little suicidal after the medication started working. It can be a long and difficult recovery, but with the love and support of my wife and children I am in a better place. The only advice I can offer is to accept help wherever you can and to take some time to care for yourself. Best wishes from me and mine to you and yours.

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  3. #2622
    Senior Member Chessie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Futhark View Post
    I had a psychotic break 5 years ago (I'm bipolar) and became a little suicidal after the medication started working. It can be a long and difficult recovery, but with the love and support of my wife and children I am in a better place. The only advice I can offer is to accept help wherever you can and to take some time to care for yourself. Best wishes from me and mine to you and yours.
    I'm so glad to hear you were able to recover under much love and support. It's so necessary to have a system like that in place to aid recovery. Normally, I don't like to put my personal life out there like this but I also want people to know they aren't alone when suffering through a mental health crisis. My husband and I went through some tough times in December (exterior circumstances aka life can be stupid sometimes) and basically he just broke. For a strong, healthy, vibrant man, this is a world of difference. We'll make it though. He's really fighting. Thank you for sharing that, Futhark.

  4. #2623
    Member Futhark's Avatar
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    You're more than welcome Chessie. Once upon a time I wouldn't have shared information like that about myself but, as I experienced months in an elevated manic state, I basically cooked my brain and lost my mind. For a guy who could play chess thinking 5 steps ahead to not even be able to beat freecell (that simple solitaire game), well, it was a humbling time. However, it also gave me the opportunity to rebuild myself (I think I've lost half my childhood memories, but I can't remember, and they weren't that great anyway LOL). I feel liberated, a new man. The point I'm making is; life is strange and you never can tell what positives can come from a negative. Nurture hope and love; they will bloom again.

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  6. #2624
    Senior Member TheCrystallineEntity's Avatar
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    Compared to most people, my life has been quite tame so far--except for...well, everything.

    On a more random note, does anyone have any experience writing in the second person?

  7. #2625
    Senior Member Malik's Avatar
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    I started working on a children's book with my wife today. A bit of a departure for me.

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  9. #2626
    Senior Member ThinkerX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malik View Post
    I started working on a children's book with my wife today. A bit of a departure for me.
    Age group?

  10. #2627
    Senior Member Malik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThinkerX View Post
    Age group?
    I have no idea. Very young. It's a picture book. She found a tiny frog inside a rose, and then came inside and spent the morning painting it. I started doodling rhymes about toads in rose abodes while making lunch and here it is 7 PM and two bottles of wine later and we've storyboarded the first half of Rosie the Toad and the Pie a la Mode Overload. This may just be a way to blow off steam; it's been an intellectually challenging week.

    This will probably just be a thing that we give to friends with small children for Christmas this year.

  11. #2628
    Senior Member ThinkerX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chessie View Post
    I'm so glad to hear you were able to recover under much love and support. It's so necessary to have a system like that in place to aid recovery. Normally, I don't like to put my personal life out there like this but I also want people to know they aren't alone when suffering through a mental health crisis. My husband and I went through some tough times in December (exterior circumstances aka life can be stupid sometimes) and basically he just broke. For a strong, healthy, vibrant man, this is a world of difference. We'll make it though. He's really fighting. Thank you for sharing that, Futhark.
    Growing up, my cousin was among my best friends, though he dwelt in Anchorage and I in the NW Kenai Peninsula. We collaborated on a novel or three that went nowhere (this was the era of typewriters, when PC's were far and few between.) Then he went to college in the states while I remained in the frequently frozen north. I drove down to visit him once on campus, something like 7000 miles.

    It was then he started saying strange things. 'Sleep is a waste of time' being the biggie. I started getting paranoid letters from him. One demanded I burn past correspondence, because he was being watched. This was about the time he started working for a succession of computer magazines. From there, he went into computer programing in San Francisco, the city he'd call home for the rest of his life.

    Matters grew worse. October, 2000. I'd just completed the house when I got a phone call from him - from a mental institution. He'd cut himself and had been held for psychiatric observation. I almost flew down to be with him - except my bank account was past empty because of the house thing. He got released, took pills, found another computer job in late 2001. That company self destructed three months after he started. Worse, his severance check bounced. That bounced him back into the mental ward. After that, there were no more computer jobs, just 'wage slave' type deals, none of which he held for more than a couple weeks. After a year, he gave up even on those.

    For most of the next decade, he bounced in and out of psych wards and was treated with meds that ranged from 'no effect whatsoever' to 'zombie pills' that drained the life right out of him. Even with those, his grasp on reality weakened - his long and short term memory went to Hell. He said people were 'attacking him with their eyes.' His brother arranged for him to be put on Disability. He moved from a relatively nice 1 room apartment to a hotel room where his bed literally took up half the available space.

    Me? I went through a tough patch myself in those days. Money, not mental. Couldn't visit him, though a few times his brother accumulated enough airline miles to send him north. I remember how he almost collapsed walking through a not especially crowded supermarket with me at one point. Didn't stop me from trying to help him. I sent him stories. A 'Where's Waldo' calendar. Tried to get him to collaborate on a writing project. The low point was when I called the cops on him because he'd convinced me he'd latched onto a gun.

    In 2011, I took the daughter to Disneyland - and we stopped off to visit my cousin along the way. My first trip out of state in something like fifteen years. That was an eye opener. When we left, I told the daughter I thought I'd probably outlive him. I was right - flew south for his funeral (natural causes, not suicide) a couple years ago. His brother was the only other attendee. (Would have been a third guy, but he was a fireman, and half the SF Bay area was literally going up in smoke at the time.)

    I still think about him a lot. Last summer I made him the MC of a novelette that had been bouncing around in my skull for a while.

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  13. #2629


    IT'S QUIET UPTOWN | Hamilton Animatic - YouTube

    So I was sitting at work today, just listening while reviewing documents n stuff. Then I come across this. It's pretty impress to me that someone took the time to do this. In any event, I'm listening then my thoughts stray to my perfectly healthy and happy son. And I get a lump on my throat and tears well up. That never happens. I am cold and heartless about music but this, of all things, makes my tears well up? Why? Because my idiot brain puts me in Hamiltons position in these songs. Asshole brain! Good thing I secluded in my office.
    "Men's courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead," said Scrooge. "But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change." A Christmas Carol By Charles Dickens

  14. #2630
    Senior Member Saigonnus's Avatar
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    My random thought of the day: I wonder if alien species have surveilled Earth. If so, and they watch our media, what would they think of all the Earthlings vs. Aliens stories like Predator, or Independence Day, or Falling Skies... if they have, would they believe them real history or would they recognize they are only a form of entertainment.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Check out my blog: Rosen Gardens http://chrisrosen.blogspot.mx/

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