Kevlar
Troubadour
It's not technically new, but rather a couple of old ones mashed together. I just want to know what people think of it.
The Empire of Nox (or Nessus, maybe, or something else. Tell me your opinion.) has expanded its territories greatly over the last fourteen years, springing up from nowhere. Their armies are well disciplined, the élite among them using magical technology in fighting. But their armies are the least of it. Their greatest asset is the colossi, towering, humanoid creatures made from stone, metal, and flesh. Even the small ones, the ones that don't quite reach thirty feet, have never been felled. It is only a matter of time before Nox (or Nessus or something) owns the world.
In the village of Baelish, though, everything changes. Nox has finally decided it is important enough to destroy. From the west they send twenty soldiers. From the east they send a colossus, a small one little over thirty feet. As the villagers prepare to make a stand against the soldiers, the coloussus is sighted. Eventually the colossus is upon them, and still the soldiers stand still. When the villagers turn, hopeless but desperate, to face the colossus, the soldiers charge. Blood is drawn, but amidst it a company of freelancers, the Border Company, appear, destroying the Noxans (or Nessi) and attempting to get the villagers to flee. A boy of fourteen, however, Ezeriel, Ez to those who know him, leaps from a stone watchtower, a relic from when Baelish had a lord. As he leaps he strikes with the sledge he took from the smithy. He lands on the colossus' upper back, striking again, and again. When the thing tries to swat him it can't: It wasn't built to be able to touch its shoulders. It tries to shake him off, but he grabs fur and holds on. Whenever he gets the chance he strikes again, until he destroys the core in the thing's head, killing it. He then joins the Border Company, and the story commences five years later.
Or
The Noxans don't limit themselves to one line of thought. Thinking to reduce their own casualties, they have been creating soldiers of the same sort as the colossi, but man-sized or a little over. The soldiers, however, suffer from the same issue: singlemindedness, something that does not work for soldiers. To overcome this the Noxans give the soldiers more and more intelligence, and even emotion, until they go too far. One of the soldiers, the most autonamous, rebels against his Noxan masters, fleeing their control. Faced with issues of his own morality, and his intelligence, the soldier will decide he needs to fight against Nox. No matter what he does, though, he can not win the acceptance of Nox's enemies. To them he is simply a soulless piece of Nox's sorcerous machinery.
So which story would you rather read? I want to do both in a first-person POV, but I've never seen a dual-POV first-person novel ,so I don't think I want to take that route. Should I write them both, seperately?
Also: Is there anything too cliché aboout either? Is the 'young hero that did what no one else had' played out? Is the second story too "I Robot"? Is there anything you specifically like about any of it? Dislike?
Do you like Nox or Nessus more, or do you not like either?
The Empire of Nox (or Nessus, maybe, or something else. Tell me your opinion.) has expanded its territories greatly over the last fourteen years, springing up from nowhere. Their armies are well disciplined, the élite among them using magical technology in fighting. But their armies are the least of it. Their greatest asset is the colossi, towering, humanoid creatures made from stone, metal, and flesh. Even the small ones, the ones that don't quite reach thirty feet, have never been felled. It is only a matter of time before Nox (or Nessus or something) owns the world.
In the village of Baelish, though, everything changes. Nox has finally decided it is important enough to destroy. From the west they send twenty soldiers. From the east they send a colossus, a small one little over thirty feet. As the villagers prepare to make a stand against the soldiers, the coloussus is sighted. Eventually the colossus is upon them, and still the soldiers stand still. When the villagers turn, hopeless but desperate, to face the colossus, the soldiers charge. Blood is drawn, but amidst it a company of freelancers, the Border Company, appear, destroying the Noxans (or Nessi) and attempting to get the villagers to flee. A boy of fourteen, however, Ezeriel, Ez to those who know him, leaps from a stone watchtower, a relic from when Baelish had a lord. As he leaps he strikes with the sledge he took from the smithy. He lands on the colossus' upper back, striking again, and again. When the thing tries to swat him it can't: It wasn't built to be able to touch its shoulders. It tries to shake him off, but he grabs fur and holds on. Whenever he gets the chance he strikes again, until he destroys the core in the thing's head, killing it. He then joins the Border Company, and the story commences five years later.
Or
The Noxans don't limit themselves to one line of thought. Thinking to reduce their own casualties, they have been creating soldiers of the same sort as the colossi, but man-sized or a little over. The soldiers, however, suffer from the same issue: singlemindedness, something that does not work for soldiers. To overcome this the Noxans give the soldiers more and more intelligence, and even emotion, until they go too far. One of the soldiers, the most autonamous, rebels against his Noxan masters, fleeing their control. Faced with issues of his own morality, and his intelligence, the soldier will decide he needs to fight against Nox. No matter what he does, though, he can not win the acceptance of Nox's enemies. To them he is simply a soulless piece of Nox's sorcerous machinery.
So which story would you rather read? I want to do both in a first-person POV, but I've never seen a dual-POV first-person novel ,so I don't think I want to take that route. Should I write them both, seperately?
Also: Is there anything too cliché aboout either? Is the 'young hero that did what no one else had' played out? Is the second story too "I Robot"? Is there anything you specifically like about any of it? Dislike?
Do you like Nox or Nessus more, or do you not like either?