My Magic System

[schulzy]

So I and writing a book and am currently four chapters in. I have constructed a world history that intertwines with my worlds magic system and would greatly appreciate some feedback.

Basically, my world consists of humans and elves (there are other races but these are not important as of yet). 1000 years before my stories events the two races lived in harmony with each other, the humans greater in number but the elves rich with magical powers. Slowly over time the elves thought they the humans betters and practiced slavery, using magic to enforce their rule and demand food and such as tribute. After years of slavery an event occurred (a divine intervention by the human gods) which stripped the elves of their magic and dispersed it across the lands. This caused humans to regain power and the elves cowered back into their forrest.

Throughout the next 1000 years the power that was dispersed across the lands grew into edible substances'. Each of these substances contained a certain aspect of ancient Elven power, or to describe it in more modern words, a super-power. By eating one of these the person would gain an ability. Some examples being; 'teleportation', 'elemental powers', 'invisibility', etc etc..

So my story is set around a young boy who has the ability to 'somewhat' control time, but he doesn't know it yet. During the current storyline the elves find out a way to restore their ancient magic so they begin to capture and extract the power from people who have eaten the food and gained special abilities. (By the way, humans do not yet know, or have forgotten the origins of this food)

I understand that this is similar to the system set up in 'one piece' with their 'devil fruits', though I really wanted to bring this concept into a fantasy setting and see how I could play around with it. I originally had the 'food' as fruits growing from the ground. While I still want to have fruits growing from the ground I am worried people might think it too similar to one piece? I would appreciate peoples opinions on the matter and would like some feedback

cheers

 

[Queshire]

Hm, reading it I did think of One Piece, but there's still plenty of room to play around with it.

Sigurd from Norse Mythology gained the ability to understand the language of birds by tasting some dragon's blood and gained the ability of prophecy from eating its heart, similarly in Irish mythology eating the Salmon of Wisdom grants one all the knowledge in the world, in Japan eating the flesh of their version of the mermaid grants immortality and various mythologies has stories of legendary apples.

 

[Mythopoet]

It actually didn't remind me of One Piece, but more of Lud-in-the-Mist where "fairy fruit" is a forbidden food among humans that makes them more susceptible to Fairy powers and makes them want to go to fairy land. But probably not many people have ever read Lud-in-the-Mist. (Good book though!)

But every story when over simplified will sound like countless others. It's in the detail and execution that you make it stand out. So don't worry. Just write!

 

[FifthView]

I agree with Mythopoet. The detail and execution is where you have the opportunity to draw a distinction and make it your own.

This is a little funny for me personally, because over the last couple of years I've had multiple experiences of devising a "cool" magic system or ability and then, a month or three later, watching an anime and seeing my idea there almost exactly as I'd imagined it. It happened with One Piece, and then it happened with Naruto. It's happened so many times, I've stopped reacting with curse words and now just laugh at myself.

 

[TheCrystallineEntity]

^It's the same for me but with video games. I accidentally 'borrowed' crystal status from Final Fantasy XIII [the only part of that game that I actually like] and the Lifestream from Final Fantasy VII.

 

[EmilyMcIntyre]

Very interesting! Questions this raises for me include:
- what are the limitations of this magic? Is there a physical or emotional toll, and how strong is it?
- When someone ingests a certain type of magic, how does it make itself known?
- How long does magic last once it's ingested?
- Are there any physical markers that would distinguish someone with a particular type of magic?
- Can an individual ingest and possess more than one type of magic?

 

[EmilyMcIntyre]

Ooh, Lud-in-the-Mist is one of my favorite fantasies EVER!!!

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

Oh crap! Never heard of One Piece or Devil fruits - but then I don't do Manga so had to do a little googling.

I have a similar system, except no fruits involved, no eating either. In my latest, there are seven magic metals. You pick one up and it disolves into your skin leaving a marking on it behind that shows you've been "afflicted". (Magic users are reviled in my world - second class citizens.) And you don't get an ability, you get a spell. Literally just one spell - and most of them are completely useless. More than that you can't tell what spell you'll get just that it's of the type of that particular magic metal, and after absorbing one spell from one metal, you can absorb other spells contained by that metal, but none of the others.

The way I based it was that fifteen hundred or more years ago, there were actual wizards in the world, and magic was free. But they found a way to steal the magic into themselves and bind it to them. And in the end there were only seven wizards left in the world, all of them supremely powerful, and all of them warring with one another. Long story short they killed one another and destroyed the world. But when they died the magic was released - but not freed from them. So each piece of magic metal is a piece of the ancient wizard's soul connected to the particular spell. The markings are the taint of a foreign soul in the flesh of the afflicted. And they can't pick up other magic metals because the soul fragments of one ancient wizard were at war with the others.

I think it works, but I'm annoyed that others have beaten me to the idea.

Cheers, Greg.