• Welcome to the Fantasy Writing Forums. Register Now to join us!

Is This Too Gross?

Hi,

I'm about a hundred K into my latest epic fantasy, "A Bittersweet Brew", and have built a monster. (Actually monster babies, but what the hey!)

Either way it runs like this. Monster mummy (daddy) is a sort of fae who lures young women to his grotto etc and has his way with them. (This is just background by the way.) In time the women get with baby monster. Now baby monster is only partly of the real world, partly of another world - like daddy dearest. And is partly as such, ghostly. He also looks like a baby dragonish / dragonfly critter - so really pretty!!! And in his human mother, the baby can't completely be sustained by her alone. So she has to go out and get preggers by other men, so her baby monster can consume the unborn foetuses inside her womb. (I said it was gross!)

The other thing about this particular monster baby is that since it's sort of ghostly / otherworldly, it can phase out of her skin and so appear as a baby ghost dragon monster, still attached to her middle, but able to fight etc! Think long sinuous neck and head full of teeth sticking out of her tummy!

Oh and a couple more lovely little details. As part of the mating process the human mother gainst the essence of its monster baby - pale blood and enormous strength etc. This is so the mother can support the growing monster inside her. But when it's time to be born, the baby will of course rip its way free of her, discarding her like a husk. (So it's sort of a parasite.)

So my question is as in the title - is this too gross? Would it ruin a good epic fantasy for you?

Cheers, Greg.
 
Hi,

I'm about a hundred K into my latest epic fantasy, "A Bittersweet Brew", and have built a monster. (Actually monster babies, but what the hey!)

Either way it runs like this. Monster mummy (daddy) is a sort of fae who lures young women to his grotto etc and has his way with them. (This is just background by the way.) In time the women get with baby monster. Now baby monster is only partly of the real world, partly of another world - like daddy dearest. And is partly as such, ghostly. He also looks like a baby dragonish / dragonfly critter - so really pretty!!! And in his human mother, the baby can't completely be sustained by her alone. So she has to go out and get preggers by other men, so her baby monster can consume the unborn foetuses inside her womb. (I said it was gross!)

The other thing about this particular monster baby is that since it's sort of ghostly / otherworldly, it can phase out of her skin and so appear as a baby ghost dragon monster, still attached to her middle, but able to fight etc! Think long sinuous neck and head full of teeth sticking out of her tummy!

Oh and a couple more lovely little details. As part of the mating process the human mother gainst the essence of its monster baby - pale blood and enormous strength etc. This is so the mother can support the growing monster inside her. But when it's time to be born, the baby will of course rip its way free of her, discarding her like a husk. (So it's sort of a parasite.)

So my question is as in the title - is this too gross? Would it ruin a good epic fantasy for you?

Cheers, Greg.

Too gross? Including the concept wouldn't ruin a book for me--though it would definitely depend on how much this affected the story and how much detail you went into, so i can't give a super specific answer. It also depends on your goals. If you're going for horrid and disturbing, it works. If you are going for something somewhat lighthearted, well...you might want to consider changing it. So, it depends on your goals, I guess...

Questions...what happens if woman host DOESN'T go out and get pregnant to feed monster baby? Also, if monster baby is part ghost, can it not flit outside her womb and kill prey...?
 

Alyssa

Troubadour
Ewwww... (and the award for least helpful comment goes to -)

It sounds fine, be very careful with rape and babies getting eaten though if you're trying to get published. It's not a rule by any stretch, but people can get offended by it as much as grossed out, depending on how you portray it.

But hey. Nothing's too gross. Dark fantasy exists for a reason.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

staiger95

Scribe
The inclusion of sexual assault and predation in fantasy and mythology is neither uncommon nor without merit. Sexuality and reproduction are as much legitimate human topics as any, and exploring extreme deviations allows an opportunity to examine social norms by comparison. Whether or not something is too gross or too depraved depends entirely upon your target audience. The real risk any writer of dark imagination takes is in exposing the true depths of his or her internal depravity. But having a deep understanding of the horrific does not make one horrible. Knowing what is terrifying or demented or villainous is just as important to a writer as knowing what is uplifting or enlightening or heroic. But as a writer, one must always ask: Why? What is the function of this within my story? How does this aspect help progress the plot or reflect a character trait or direct the tone? The more thought you put into the construction of the story, the better the read will be regardless.
 

Demesnedenoir

Myth Weaver
I don't have a problem with it as presented. It could certainly be written in a way I wouldn't like, but in general, the horror aspect here is fine.
 
And in his human mother, the baby can't completely be sustained by her alone. So she has to go out and get preggers by other men, so her baby monster can consume the unborn foetuses inside her womb.

Grossness tolerance levels will differ a) between readers, and b) depending on how much is shown and how it is shown. The abstract idea of it may gross a reader out but be tolerable; add detailed descriptions (go up and close on the process), and you are more likely to pass the tolerance level of a reader, especially if the extra detail becomes gratuitous or unimportant for the telling of the story.

That said, I'm really wondering about the practicality of this. Let's use a metaphor. I might be very hungry, but if I plant a seed of corn, I'm going to have to wait a long time in order to satisfy my hunger by eating the corn; i.e., time is required for growth. If the monster baby is developing at about the same speed as any new fetus, maybe in early stages that fetus would supply adequate sustenance. But as the monster baby grows, each new fetus is going to supply very little immediate sustenance. I'm certainly no expert of fetus development, but I did a quick search and it seems that even at 8 weeks, the fetus is only about 1 gram. How often can the mother become pregnant, and can the monster baby wait for many weeks after the new pregnancy for the new fetus to grow...if, as you said, the mother can't supply enough nutrition on her own for the monster baby? Maybe I'm missing something.
 

glutton

Inkling
The description makes me wonder if the women are magically compelled to get pregnant by other men to sustain the baby, since normally I wouldn't expect women to want to take care of the offspring of a monster that raped them and which will end up killing them. I'm guessing they probably are compelled but that was my first thought/question.
 
Hi,

Thanks guys. Good thoughts.

Just to clarify. The women when they go to their monster lover are not raped. They go willingly. Though they may be under some sort of magical influence. This is simply the old king of the fae trope (Beowolf?) rehashed. But Glutton, you've put a finger on one of the plot points - whether they are compelled to do these horrible things to protect / feed their unborn babies or if instead it's their choice - and the answer is both. The women are seduced, but they could not be seduced by the darkness if they were not already corrupted in some way. My MC has to wrestle with this question as he battles his stepmother - because ultimately she's a fresh faced eighteen year old, (wed to his dirty old man father the King) and killing / maiming / torturing such a woman would be a major no no for him, but he doesn't have a lot of choice.

Fifth - I agree with the practicality issue - hadn't thought about it. But it's not really about sustinance. The parent is an outworld being. His offspring are also outworldly, and could have little in the way of an effect on the actual world normally. This is the means by which they start gaining some worldly substance, and the ability to survive in it outside of their mother. This DOTA is also why the monster babies can't leave the mother to kill. They are literally bound to her for their survival until they reach maturity. They can just extend parts of themselves beyond her physical body for a time to kill etc. That's also why they can be much, much larger than the mother and still be inside her.

And Staiger, I don't think this exposes much about my internal depravity (I hope)! It's more just a sub-plot that makes the main plot of the book possible.

Cheers, Greg.
 

Queshire

Auror
Too gross for me as well, but that's just a matter of personal taste. Just make sure what target audience you're aiming at is likely to be ok with it.
 
Hi,

I don't think I'm going to argue the point about whether what the monster does is rape - it really isn't part of the book save as background to a character and its never described in detail - and it could be argued either way.

But I would mention that this at least is traditional mythology for faeries, kelpies, selkies, sidhe and many other mythological creatures / peoples. They lure people - men and women - to their lairs for a romp. That was how Beowulf was born, as one of the offspring of one of these unions. Likewise the Greek and Roman gods did the same thing.

Personally for me the more gross part is that the offspring of these unions is less a baby than a parasite which will ultimately destroy it's host.

Cheers, Greg.
 

glutton

Inkling
Since I'm already posting in this thread, my way of softening the distastefulness factor would probably be having one of the women do a self abortion, then going after the daddy monster and beating the *beep* out of it. Then she can end the story with chin held high. XD
 
Hi Glutton,

Won't work for any number of reasons, but mostly because she's the bad guy!

Cheers, Greg.
 
Hi,

I'm about a hundred K into my latest epic fantasy, "A Bittersweet Brew", and have built a monster. (Actually monster babies, but what the hey!)

Either way it runs like this. Monster mummy (daddy) is a sort of fae who lures young women to his grotto etc and has his way with them. (This is just background by the way.) In time the women get with baby monster. Now baby monster is only partly of the real world, partly of another world - like daddy dearest. And is partly as such, ghostly. He also looks like a baby dragonish / dragonfly critter - so really pretty!!! And in his human mother, the baby can't completely be sustained by her alone. So she has to go out and get preggers by other men, so her baby monster can consume the unborn foetuses inside her womb. (I said it was gross!)

The other thing about this particular monster baby is that since it's sort of ghostly / otherworldly, it can phase out of her skin and so appear as a baby ghost dragon monster, still attached to her middle, but able to fight etc! Think long sinuous neck and head full of teeth sticking out of her tummy!

Oh and a couple more lovely little details. As part of the mating process the human mother gainst the essence of its monster baby - pale blood and enormous strength etc. This is so the mother can support the growing monster inside her. But when it's time to be born, the baby will of course rip its way free of her, discarding her like a husk. (So it's sort of a parasite.)

So my question is as in the title - is this too gross? Would it ruin a good epic fantasy for you?

Cheers, Greg.

Forget about gross, this is too self-inconsistent and gratuitous for my tastes. The baby can phase out of the mother and fight, but it can't get sustenance that way, so it requires the mother to become pregnant, so it will have something to eat...eventually. If it was to get hungry in the meantime, what does it do? Why not eat the mother from the inside? It's going to rip her apart eventually anyway, so what does it care? How does it know what a fetus is and distinguish it from the mother's flesh? Like I said, it's not a tale for me.
 

ascanius

Inkling
For me this would depend on how it's described. I don't really think I would find this as gross unless described in such manner. It's creepy as all f*k though :). Though I have something similar, with demons, no question it is bad though.

How do we find ourselves discussing these sorts of things??? :confused: :rolleyes:


What's wrong with talking about it? It's weird and all but so what. I'm sure a lot of us have something that is going to cause a reread, or be outside the norm.
 
Top