Translation of names

[Graylorne]

In translating my original Dutch book into English I have a few, only a few place names that are Dutch. Now I'm inclined not to translate these names into English counterparts.

A few examples:

* there's an inn, The Klimmende Klawerd (would translate as Climbing Clawert, the latter being a fictional bird)
* a large forest called the Gisterwoud (would be Yesterforest)
* a harbour town called Yanthemonde (would be Yanthemouth, Yanthe being a river)

Would the use of the original versions hamper immersion, or add to it? Or do nothing at all?

Every other name I use is googled to prevent complications.

[Caged Maiden]

I love them and would keep them (and might steal some Dutch names for my own world). No seriously, I love them, they lend a folky feel to the places. If that fits in your story, I say keep them. I wanted to include German names in some of my work but some of it was too hard to spell and I thought it would be a conflict of interest if readers couldn't pronounce my names (ei and ie and all that stuff). Unfortuntely some pronunciation rules are opposite in German and English and that alone stopped me from doing it. But I love the ones you cited. They sound great.

[Graylorne]

Thanks, Anihow, I'm glad you like them. To me they're part of the atmosphere and translating them wouldn't have felt the same.

[Caged Maiden]

Actually, I didn't post it above, but those sorts of details, so simple but so effective, are what breathes life into a story for me. People when they name things tend to go for simple. We don't live near "Shimmering Forest of Evernight" do we? We live by "Old Forest". Same thing with Rivers and lakes. And inns. I personally take it to be a personal challenge every time I make an inn Its my little bit of fun. One time I named a dump of an inn the "Moonlit Swan" My character in a dismal mood from the rain and its inhospitable appearance refers to it as the "Drenched Duck"

See little things to make it more real. Best wishes. I'm glad you posted because I really might look into Dutch to solve my problems. My main problem with German is that words are either too similar to English or too hard for Americans to pronounce. I'm sure the fact that I speak German also influences my like or dislike for certain words because I can't read a name unbiasedly but when I read yours I simply reflected on whether I liked the sound and thought it an apt befitting word.

[Graylorne]

I completely agree. There's a magic in names, they help you catch and keep the attention of the reader. I try to keep the names simple, I'm writing epic, but not high fantasy. Gisterwoud, a primordial forest like some remnants in Eastern Europe, yesterday's forest. I like that. And I liked your Drenched Duck quip, very apt.

[Ghost]

Please leave them Dutch! I probably can't pronounce them (I can't even pronounce van Goph), but the Dutch versions have a different feel on the (web)page.

[Benjamin Clayborne]

It might also be interesting to have different characters in the story call things by different names, depending on various factors. E.g. maybe the nobility all refer to things by their arcane, weird-sounding foreign names, but the commoners all use the "low" (English) translation. Or maybe only older folks refer to the fancy names, and the younger generations use the English names. Or maybe it's a cultural thing. Or maybe everyone uses the English names most of the time, but if there's a serious discussion going on, they use the Dutch names. Maybe in parts of the realm that don't see much foreign traffic, people use the Dutch names, but in the coastal/port/well-traveled cities on major roads, the English names are more common.

[Graylorne]

Please leave them Dutch! I probably can't pronounce them (I can't even pronounce van Goph), but the Dutch versions have a different feel on the (web)page.

Thank you, Ourobouros. It's to me a matter of atmosphere, but I was afraid they would sound silly. I'm happy you like them.

It might also be interesting to have different characters in the story call things by different names, depending on various factors. E.g. maybe the nobility all refer to things by their arcane, weird-sounding foreign names, but the commoners all use the "low" (English) translation. Or maybe only older folks refer to the fancy names, and the younger generations use the English names. Or maybe it's a cultural thing. Or maybe everyone uses the English names most of the time, but if there's a serious discussion going on, they use the Dutch names. Maybe in parts of the realm that don't see much foreign traffic, people use the Dutch names, but in the coastal/port/well-traveled cities on major roads, the English names are more common.

There is a common language in my world, based on the proto-european tongues, (Not English, the world was created from leftovers of our own Earth, and there weren't any spare English bits.) A past, worldwide tyranny of a thousand years has erased all non-official tongues but for some isolated dialects here and there.
My fear was just that English readers wouldn't like Dutch names, that it would be bad for the story.
But I made a note of your suggestion for another idea that's simmering in the back of my mind.

[coolstoneman]

I completely agree. I think they work great. That's a good idea, using words from another language that correspond to the english word. And I don't think it matters if people can necessarily pronounce the words or not, as long as they don't sound obviously made-up like "Happyworld" or something silly like that.

[Ravana]

Did you translate any other names into English? If not, I'm with everybody else: leave them. If you changed some, you should have a reason not to change them all… even if that reason is known only to you and never explained in the book.