Way of Addressing

[Graylorne]

Unhandy title, I know...

My lady beta reader had a remark about my use of 'boy' between two youths of similar ages. My MC, who is twenty, said to his 2 years younger friend: 'Go your own road and prove him wrong, boy.' She found this strange.
Ofc I can change it in 'mate' or anything like that, but is the use of 'boy' is really unusual in English?

 

[Caged Maiden]

I don't think so. I often use "boy", "lad", "friend", "mate", "love," or any other term of endearment I feel fits. "boy" has a derrogatory connotation from the slave days, where white men would refer to any colored boy or man that way, but I think in the context of fantasy, it would not stand out as negative.

 

[Graylorne]

Thank you, CM. No, it's certainly not negatively meant, either. More in a friendly, big-brotherish way.

 

[CupofJoe]

To me it also has a rural feel... in both the West Country and East Anglia you could well be called "boy" at any age... just like an Australian might call you "Mate"...

 

[Twook00]

IMO, "boy" sounds very impersonal. It's not something I would call a friend. Also, I wouldn't use it for someone only two years younger than me. I'm 24 and I would feel odd referring to an 18 yo or even 16 yo as "boy". On the other hand, if a 70 year old man were to call me that, it wouldn't seem strange at all.

In fact, I could see it being used condescendingly or sarcastically, but not seriously. Just my opinion, of course.

 

[Ankari]

Thank you, CM. No, it's certainly not negatively meant, either. More in a friendly, big-brotherish way.

"Boy" has a negative connotation in many circles. For a person to call someone who is only 2 years younger than him "boy" is one of those examples. "Boy" is a strange word that, even when used in a positive manner, is negative.

"Where's your husband?"

"He's with the boys."

See what I mean? He is with the boys. Boy, by it's definition, is an immature male. To be with the boys implies that he is with other like-minded immature males doing immature male things.

Compare this to how you would address soldiers.

"How are the men holding up?"

"Fine, sir. We'll do our duty."

The usage of men implies that the mature males are doing mature male things. In this case, they're sacrificing their lives.

Point being, I don't like boy unless you're wanting to convey a sense of immaturity. This is hard to accept when you have the comparison between an 18 yr old and a 16 yr old. The problem, I think, is that we impose our current understanding of maturity. We, in the modern era, think that age determines maturity and not upbringing. I know everyone can think of a person that is 18 years old and he/she is not mature. When does maturity truly settle in? When that person is accountable.

If you're basing your world on historical settings, then many people were mature when they hit puberty. The whole teenager thing is a constructed word to raise the age of when people were expected to become mature.

Sorry about the rant. Back to your point. I would advise that you pick another word that shows affection. Don't try to tell the story of their relationship with one word. You said your character is using it in a way that a brother does to a younger brother (which doesn't happen in every family I've met), why would he use a word that implies that and not the affection he has for the young man?

What shows affection? Nicknames work. So does friend or dear.

 

[Sparkie]

This is what I know for sure:

I'm a supervisor at my job in a warehouse, and if I were to refer to anyone (regardless of age, race, sex, color, faith or creed) as "boy," I'd be fired.

 

[Graylorne]

"Boy" has a negative connotation in many circles. For a person to call someone who is only 2 years younger than him "boy" is one of those examples. "Boy" is a strange word that, even when used in a positive manner, is negative.

Strange indeed. In Dutch it hasn't the same negative impact.
That leaves me searching for alternatives. Words that fit in a medieval background. Like 'mate', as already suggested, or 'lad', which would fit in with the background.

The problem, I think, is that we impose our current understanding of maturity. We, in the modern era, think that age determines maturity and not upbringing. I know everyone can think of a person that is 18 years old and he/she is not mature. When does maturity truly settle in? When that person is accountable.

True.

If you're basing your world on historical settings, then many people were mature when they hit puberty. The whole teenager thing is a constructed word to raise the age of when people were expected to become mature.

This is one of the mainstays of my story, that in my semi-medieval world young people are accepted as mature (or rather: legally competent) at an earlier age than we modern ones are accustomed to in our safe societies.

Anyhow, I'm glad I got some clarification. It's things like this that can kill your credibility faster than two handfuls of spelling mistakes.

 

[wordwalker]

All in all, it's just tricky. And yes, sometimes explosive.

Actually, calling a person "boy" seems more likely to backfire than saying "the boys." (Yes, soldiers are "men" but they're definitely "the boys" too.) But there are a lot of contexts where "boy" sounds fun or energetic, up into middle-age or more, and others where it's condescending.

We don't know if your characters have really established enough sense of trust and dare-each-other to be comfortable going there, especially within how readers would see your world.

But it's getting clear that it's too easy for some readers to take a word wrong, and not really that much to be gained by keeping it. When even one of my critics tells me that, it's usually worth tweaking.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

To tell the truth, I don't get at all, why boy is inappropriate here. I've heard it hundreds of times when people were addresssing in such a way.

It's due to the two year age difference between characters. If it was a 50 year old man, speaking to a very young man (say 20) it may be considered appropriate in this time setting or world (experience, respect, rank within a group, etc). However, all things are somewhat grounded in our real world experiences. Therefore, any man calling another man "boy" when the age difference is almost negligible, is basically saying "You're less of a man than I."
Add on top of this the racial connotations of the term "boy" being used in this country as a derogatory term towards Africans (slaves & freed slaves) then it may be necessary to consider how you want the words use to be interpreted.
If you want the character's use of the word "boy" to be seen as an insult then you're fine, as long as the behaviors and context support it's use. If you're just looking for a replacement word for "lad" then it's most likely not a good choice.

 

[Graylorne]

This is one of the pitfalls that make an American beta reader invaluable. To me 'boy' has no emotional load whatsoever, at least not in the between-friends way I used it. Personally I would hesitate to address a young adult forty years my junior as 'boy' because I'd see that as condescending.

I changed the peer-used 'boy' into lad. Now the only persons who use it are far older or a girl of the same age. (I assume snippy teenage gils can use the word safely?)

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

I changed the peer-used 'boy' into lad. Now the only persons who use it are far older or a girl of the same age. (I assume snippy teenage gils can use the word safely?)

If they're intending to be snippy & superior absolutely.