Both my parents saw me off from Heathrow airport where I was to take the evening flight on Cathay Pacific to Hong Kong.
‘Work hard,’ my mother reminded me yet again. ‘But don’t forget to enjoy yourself.’
‘I will,’ I promised, trying not to roll my eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time that week.
‘And say hello to your uncle and aunt for me,’ she said.
‘I will.’
My Dad was a man of few words, unlike my mother who always seemed to have something to say about anything and everything. But she mostly “talks” to me about my studies, even if she doesn’t need to.
Once I boarded the plane I took out my iPod from my handbag and selected a song before settling back in my seat.
It was a twelve-hour flight and I couldn’t help but think back to about a year ago when I’d also boarded a flight to Hong Kong where I would be living for three years. It seemed like only yesterday.
It seemed like I had only shut my eyes for a minute and the captain was announcing that the plane was beginning its’ descent.
As soon as the passengers were given the okay to unbuckle their seatbelts, I quickly grabbed my handbag from under my seat and my laptop bag from the overhead compartment before walking off the plane.
I collected my suitcase from the baggage claim and loaded it onto a trolley along with my messenger-style laptop bag before pushing it towards the terminal’s sliding doors.
My aunt Li-Lin and cousin Kang-Lin were waiting for me outside the terminal.
‘Welcome back, Xiao-Su!’ they cried in Cantonese as I pushed my trolley up to them.
They pulled me into a big hug. My Chinese relatives all call me Xiao-Su for my nickname Sue. “Xiao” as in “little, and “Su” is written with the character for “pure white”
I’d known that Li-Lin would be picking me up from the airport but I was surprised to see Kang-Lin. She had apparently taken a day off from work to pick me up from the airport with Li-Lin.
Li-Lin is my uncle Xiao-Ran’s wife, but has always been like blood kin to me. Kang-Lin, along with her older twin brother, An-Long, are hers and Xiao-Ran’s children. She is my youngest cousin on that side of the family, but even so she was five years my senior. Despite this age difference, I was closer to her than any of my other cousins; particularly since we shared an interest in languages and culture.
Kang-Lin practically wrenched the trolley from me and started pushing it in the direction I remembered led to the airport car park.
“How was the flight?” Li-Lin asked.
“So-so, jiu-mu,” I replied. I never call her Li-Lin to her face.
Stepping out into the Hong Kong air was like walking straight into a damp blanket. Despite that it was now the beginning of September the weather was slightly warmer and more humid than England. I’d dressed accordingly in quarter-length trousers, a t-shirt, sandals and a light hoodie which was now tied securely around my waist.
I’d timed my return to Hong Kong about a week before classes were scheduled to start as I’d wanted to settle back into the swing of things before classes started, and also give myself a chance to shake off the jet lag that would inevitably catch up with me.
Once we loaded my suitcase in the boot we were on our way.
I passed on greetings from my parents before Li-Lin and Kang-Lin started asking me about the last few days of my trip home.
My uncle’s family lived a bit further out from the city centre in the countryside. It was about two and a half hours from the airport by car.
Their house was smaller than what I had been used to in England, but it was big enough for five people.
They were kind enough to let me have their spare bedroom. It was about the same size as the student dormitory room I stayed in during my first year at university. There was a single bed, a desk in the corner with several bookshelves where I did my work and a wardrobe and chest of drawers. I’d stuck up posters of a few Chinese and Japanese celebrities I liked.
After carrying my suitcase into the living room, I took out the souvenirs I’d bought for my various relatives.
Checking the time I saw it was four o’clock, which would make it about eleven o’clock in the evening in Britain. Too late to call my parents, I thought. I will just have to send them an e-mail, I thought as I took out my laptop.
After composing a quick message and sending it off, I decided to give my boyfriend Yang Yun a call.
Yang and I met at the publishing company where my cousin worked as an editor, and where I had a part-time job doing clerical work, through Kang-Lin’s friends. He was very good looking and seemed like a genuinely nice person, so when he asked me out I’d said yes. After several dates we had decided to pursue a relationship.
We’ve been dating for about six months now and just before I went back to England for a visit, he’d started asking me to have sex with him. But I told him I wanted to wait.
Just as I was reaching for my phone to change its’ SIM card, I saw a shadow move out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned my head there was nothing there. This has happened more times than I can count. My seeing shadows, I mean.
It started when I was fifteen. Back then I only saw them very occasionally, but as I got older I started seeing them more and more until it came to the point that I was seeing them all the time.
Of course, I’ve never told anyone about it. I would be locked up faster that you could say “cracker-jack”.
Shaking off the thought, I quickly inserted my Hong Kong SIM card and dialled Yang’s home number.
It rang twice before he picked up.
‘Wei?’
I smiled at hearing his voice. ‘Wei, Yang-ge!’ I chirped into the phone in Cantonese. ‘It’s me.’
‘Xiao-Su! So you did get back okay.’ he said. ‘When did you get in?’
‘Just now. I wanted to let you know I was back.’
‘How was England?’ he asked. ‘Enjoy seeing your family?
‘It was the same as ever,’ I replied. ‘And yes, I did. Although I could have done without my mother’s lectures.’
Yang chuckled on the other end. ‘She just wants you to do well.’
I audibly sighed. ‘I know; but sometimes I wish she would take an interest in something other than my studies.’
‘You’ll thank her later,’ he said.
I sighed in what I hoped was a good-natured way; this wasn’t the first time I’d ranted to him about my mother’s obsession with my studies.
We talked a bit more, he told me a bit about his work in the translation and language rights department and gave me the new gossip on his colleagues. Agreeing to meet up before my classes started, we hung up.
I decided that now would be a good time to start putting my clothes and things away.
‘Xiao-Su!’ Li-Lin called from the hallway.
‘What is it?’ I called back.
‘We’re eating out tonight,’ she replied. ‘Is Shanghainese all right with you?’
‘That’s fine.’
‘Your uncle and An-Long will be meeting us there.
As much as I love Li-Lin’s cooking, it was nice to eat out.
Looks like a quicker shower is in order, I thought.
Quickly selecting a classy but casual outfit of jeans and quarter-length brown blouse and a change of underwear, I called out to my aunt and cousin, letting them know I was going to wash, before grabbing a towel from the airing cupboard.
After a refreshing shower, I towelled myself dry and quickly dressed in the outfit and then blow-dried my hair until it was only a little damp. I preferred letting my hair dry naturally rather than always using a blow-dryer.
I threw together my phone, purse and diary in a small handbag, before slipping on my favourite brown loafers.
Kang-Lin and Li-Lin were already dressed in their going out clothes and shoes, and were waiting for me in the living room.
Li-Lin and Kang-Lin both grabbed their handbags from the coffee table and we were out the door.
The restaurant was located in a mall in North-East Tsuen Wan. Uncle Xiao-Ran was already waiting at a table set for five.
He stood up to give me a hug as we walked in.
‘How was the flight?’ he asked as we sat down.
‘It was okay, I replied.
Uncle Xiao-Ran, or jiu-fu as I call him, is my mother’s second eldest sibling. I’m not really very close to him as most times I don’t really know what to say to him.
I ordered spring onion pancakes and Shanghai fried noodles, two of my favourite Shanghainese dishes which I knew the whole family also enjoyed.
An-Long arrived not long after, looking a bit harassed. He must have come straight from the fire station.
An-Long is Kang-Lin’s older twin brother by five minutes. He’s a paramedic with the Hong Kong fire department. And like most boys, or young men, that I knew, he tended to spend a lot of time in his room on his computer playing online games when he wasn’t working or spending time with his girlfriend.
‘Sorry I’m late,’ he apologised.
‘How was work today?’ Kang-Lin asked.
‘Don’t ask,’ was An-Long’s curt reply.
Something must have gone wrong, I thought to myself. Somehow I got the sense that someone had died before they got to them.
Throughout dinner I could see more moving shadows and smoky wisps out of the corner of my eye.
I inwardly sighed.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m going mad.
‘Work hard,’ my mother reminded me yet again. ‘But don’t forget to enjoy yourself.’
‘I will,’ I promised, trying not to roll my eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time that week.
‘And say hello to your uncle and aunt for me,’ she said.
‘I will.’
My Dad was a man of few words, unlike my mother who always seemed to have something to say about anything and everything. But she mostly “talks” to me about my studies, even if she doesn’t need to.
Once I boarded the plane I took out my iPod from my handbag and selected a song before settling back in my seat.
It was a twelve-hour flight and I couldn’t help but think back to about a year ago when I’d also boarded a flight to Hong Kong where I would be living for three years. It seemed like only yesterday.
It seemed like I had only shut my eyes for a minute and the captain was announcing that the plane was beginning its’ descent.
As soon as the passengers were given the okay to unbuckle their seatbelts, I quickly grabbed my handbag from under my seat and my laptop bag from the overhead compartment before walking off the plane.
I collected my suitcase from the baggage claim and loaded it onto a trolley along with my messenger-style laptop bag before pushing it towards the terminal’s sliding doors.
My aunt Li-Lin and cousin Kang-Lin were waiting for me outside the terminal.
‘Welcome back, Xiao-Su!’ they cried in Cantonese as I pushed my trolley up to them.
They pulled me into a big hug. My Chinese relatives all call me Xiao-Su for my nickname Sue. “Xiao” as in “little, and “Su” is written with the character for “pure white”
I’d known that Li-Lin would be picking me up from the airport but I was surprised to see Kang-Lin. She had apparently taken a day off from work to pick me up from the airport with Li-Lin.
Li-Lin is my uncle Xiao-Ran’s wife, but has always been like blood kin to me. Kang-Lin, along with her older twin brother, An-Long, are hers and Xiao-Ran’s children. She is my youngest cousin on that side of the family, but even so she was five years my senior. Despite this age difference, I was closer to her than any of my other cousins; particularly since we shared an interest in languages and culture.
Kang-Lin practically wrenched the trolley from me and started pushing it in the direction I remembered led to the airport car park.
“How was the flight?” Li-Lin asked.
“So-so, jiu-mu,” I replied. I never call her Li-Lin to her face.
Stepping out into the Hong Kong air was like walking straight into a damp blanket. Despite that it was now the beginning of September the weather was slightly warmer and more humid than England. I’d dressed accordingly in quarter-length trousers, a t-shirt, sandals and a light hoodie which was now tied securely around my waist.
I’d timed my return to Hong Kong about a week before classes were scheduled to start as I’d wanted to settle back into the swing of things before classes started, and also give myself a chance to shake off the jet lag that would inevitably catch up with me.
Once we loaded my suitcase in the boot we were on our way.
I passed on greetings from my parents before Li-Lin and Kang-Lin started asking me about the last few days of my trip home.
My uncle’s family lived a bit further out from the city centre in the countryside. It was about two and a half hours from the airport by car.
Their house was smaller than what I had been used to in England, but it was big enough for five people.
They were kind enough to let me have their spare bedroom. It was about the same size as the student dormitory room I stayed in during my first year at university. There was a single bed, a desk in the corner with several bookshelves where I did my work and a wardrobe and chest of drawers. I’d stuck up posters of a few Chinese and Japanese celebrities I liked.
After carrying my suitcase into the living room, I took out the souvenirs I’d bought for my various relatives.
Checking the time I saw it was four o’clock, which would make it about eleven o’clock in the evening in Britain. Too late to call my parents, I thought. I will just have to send them an e-mail, I thought as I took out my laptop.
After composing a quick message and sending it off, I decided to give my boyfriend Yang Yun a call.
Yang and I met at the publishing company where my cousin worked as an editor, and where I had a part-time job doing clerical work, through Kang-Lin’s friends. He was very good looking and seemed like a genuinely nice person, so when he asked me out I’d said yes. After several dates we had decided to pursue a relationship.
We’ve been dating for about six months now and just before I went back to England for a visit, he’d started asking me to have sex with him. But I told him I wanted to wait.
Just as I was reaching for my phone to change its’ SIM card, I saw a shadow move out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned my head there was nothing there. This has happened more times than I can count. My seeing shadows, I mean.
It started when I was fifteen. Back then I only saw them very occasionally, but as I got older I started seeing them more and more until it came to the point that I was seeing them all the time.
Of course, I’ve never told anyone about it. I would be locked up faster that you could say “cracker-jack”.
Shaking off the thought, I quickly inserted my Hong Kong SIM card and dialled Yang’s home number.
It rang twice before he picked up.
‘Wei?’
I smiled at hearing his voice. ‘Wei, Yang-ge!’ I chirped into the phone in Cantonese. ‘It’s me.’
‘Xiao-Su! So you did get back okay.’ he said. ‘When did you get in?’
‘Just now. I wanted to let you know I was back.’
‘How was England?’ he asked. ‘Enjoy seeing your family?
‘It was the same as ever,’ I replied. ‘And yes, I did. Although I could have done without my mother’s lectures.’
Yang chuckled on the other end. ‘She just wants you to do well.’
I audibly sighed. ‘I know; but sometimes I wish she would take an interest in something other than my studies.’
‘You’ll thank her later,’ he said.
I sighed in what I hoped was a good-natured way; this wasn’t the first time I’d ranted to him about my mother’s obsession with my studies.
We talked a bit more, he told me a bit about his work in the translation and language rights department and gave me the new gossip on his colleagues. Agreeing to meet up before my classes started, we hung up.
I decided that now would be a good time to start putting my clothes and things away.
‘Xiao-Su!’ Li-Lin called from the hallway.
‘What is it?’ I called back.
‘We’re eating out tonight,’ she replied. ‘Is Shanghainese all right with you?’
‘That’s fine.’
‘Your uncle and An-Long will be meeting us there.
As much as I love Li-Lin’s cooking, it was nice to eat out.
Looks like a quicker shower is in order, I thought.
Quickly selecting a classy but casual outfit of jeans and quarter-length brown blouse and a change of underwear, I called out to my aunt and cousin, letting them know I was going to wash, before grabbing a towel from the airing cupboard.
After a refreshing shower, I towelled myself dry and quickly dressed in the outfit and then blow-dried my hair until it was only a little damp. I preferred letting my hair dry naturally rather than always using a blow-dryer.
I threw together my phone, purse and diary in a small handbag, before slipping on my favourite brown loafers.
Kang-Lin and Li-Lin were already dressed in their going out clothes and shoes, and were waiting for me in the living room.
Li-Lin and Kang-Lin both grabbed their handbags from the coffee table and we were out the door.
The restaurant was located in a mall in North-East Tsuen Wan. Uncle Xiao-Ran was already waiting at a table set for five.
He stood up to give me a hug as we walked in.
‘How was the flight?’ he asked as we sat down.
‘It was okay, I replied.
Uncle Xiao-Ran, or jiu-fu as I call him, is my mother’s second eldest sibling. I’m not really very close to him as most times I don’t really know what to say to him.
I ordered spring onion pancakes and Shanghai fried noodles, two of my favourite Shanghainese dishes which I knew the whole family also enjoyed.
An-Long arrived not long after, looking a bit harassed. He must have come straight from the fire station.
An-Long is Kang-Lin’s older twin brother by five minutes. He’s a paramedic with the Hong Kong fire department. And like most boys, or young men, that I knew, he tended to spend a lot of time in his room on his computer playing online games when he wasn’t working or spending time with his girlfriend.
‘Sorry I’m late,’ he apologised.
‘How was work today?’ Kang-Lin asked.
‘Don’t ask,’ was An-Long’s curt reply.
Something must have gone wrong, I thought to myself. Somehow I got the sense that someone had died before they got to them.
Throughout dinner I could see more moving shadows and smoky wisps out of the corner of my eye.
I inwardly sighed.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m going mad.
