Recent content by AlexS

When it's accepted for publication

I don't like creating characters whose main purpose is to GIVE information, but I like to create characters whose main purpose is to RECEIVE information. For example, if a group of experienced soldiers goes on a mission, I like to add one rookie to the team. In addition to creating...

I like this, very relevant questions, would love to read your take on it!

“Why are we even here?” Harl Duns asked, resting by the bonfire one evening. “Stupid question. It’s a strong point. Strongpoints are meant to be occupied. That’s how you win wars.” Grenn replied. “Well, what if we don’t occupy it?” “Then the enemy will.” “Why would the enemy want to occupy it?”...

Hurricanes become a West Coast problem rather than East Coast.

The best way to show mood and emotion in dialogue is with the words themselves. The second-best is by the dialogue tag ('she exclaimed', 'he whispered solemnly', etc) Punctuation is a distant third.

Self-agency is a strong theme. Consider giving the deity humanlike flaws - petty, vain, fearful, etc., and show the protagonist's disappointment at this. She's looking for the wonderful wizard of Oz, but finds a small scared man behind the curtain - if not literally, then allegorically.

Update: I'm up to 10 rejections, 5 from publishers, 5 from agents. I take it back, it definitely does NOT feel like progress. Mostly low-effort form replies, with no indication anyone actually read my work. I am currently working on the sequel, and I would lie if I said the situation is not...

It's a time-honored trope for the season 1 antagonist to be redeemed and help the protagonists in season 2 against an-even-worse antagonist. But such redemption must be carefully set up and feel earned. Readers aren't stupid. If it just feels like "the writer decided to keep him", they will...

Title: The Fractured North - Book II of the Mistress of the Wastes trilogy Genre: YA Fantasy Blurb: In the aftermath of a continent-shaking cataclysm, multiple factions, be they a king, queen, witch, noble or traitor, embark a perilous race for an artifact of great power. The story directly...

Ok, if there is a valid reason why he takes off his armor so close to them, you can really lean into it. Instead of "a few yards from them", describe him being "close enough to smell the blood", or "to see the veins in his eyes" or something like that.

I like it, just a few comments: 1. Would be better if the King was named (eg. Haylenn the II or whatever), would make the reader better connect to his fate than just "the King". Also, the King could look up for a moment, and it seems to Timn their eyes met - or did they? 2. I don't understand...

Thanks! Really appreaciate you taking the time to review my work!

I just google "population of <city name> <year>" and usually get reliable results.

“a huge individual” – would be a stronger impression if the first description is something inhuman, ephemeral, like “a hulking shadow”, and only later described as a man. The word “covered” is used 3 times in quick succession. Maybe “coated by tatoos”, etc. ? “they could feel the arrogance...