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Ellipses, dialogue, and capitalization

This is another one that came up while editing that Swedish My Little Pony fanfic. I suggested a couple different forms the author could use to revise some dialogue, and he chose an unusual but pretty one that I'm personally fond of. One character has just put some candies on a table, and is making an analogy to dating:

“Okay, so this...” Pinkie indicated the candy in the center. “...is the stallion. And these...” She indicated the surrounding candies. “...are the mares who like the stallion."

I realized after I made the suggestion that I don't remember whether "is" and "are" should be capitalized in this context. On the one hand, they're continuations of previous sentences, rather than the beginnings of new sentences, and continuations aren't capitalized when dialogue is split using commas rather than ellipses. On the other hand, when dialogue is split using commas, the splits never contain complete sentences, and since there are capitalized complete sentences here, it may be that the dialogue should be capitalized like complete sentences, too.

I'm willing to risk minor grammatical errors in my own stories, but I don't want to introduce them in other people's stories. Since this form is so unusual, I wasn't able to track down examples on the Internet to compare it to. Is anyone familiar here with the capitalization rules for this form?
 

CupofJoe

Myth Weaver
I cannot prove it... but I am sure that you are okay as you are. I can't remember ever seeing that form of ellipsis capitalised. And if you try writing it out it just looks so wrong.
 

Penpilot

Staff
Article Team
From my understanding using ellipses like that isn't correct. Ellipses indicate a trailing off of voice when used that way. The correct punctuation for interrupting dialogue is the em-dash (--). There should be no commas or periods between. Commas are used when the interruption is a dialogue tag, a version of said.

Eg. "Hey Brad," Mike said, "nice to see you."

The correct way to punctuate that sentence is as follows.

“Okay, so this”--Pinkie indicated the candy in the center--“is the stallion. And these”--She indicated the surrounding candies--“are the mares who like the stallion."

The em-dash goes outside the quotes if the interruption is narrative rather than an actual pause in the person speaking. If the person speaking is pausing then the em-dashes go inside the quotes.

Here's one of the resources I used to confirm this.
Em Dash
 
What in the world? I have never seen that construction before in my life. Still, I suppose it makes sense.
 
I've been wondering that myself, many thanks. Still:

“Okay, so this”--Pinkie indicated the candy in the center--“is the stallion. And these”--She indicated the surrounding candies--“are the mares who like the stallion."

That "She" shouldn't be in caps, although "Pinkie" should as a name; normal capitalization applies.
 

Malik

Auror
If the actual quote is interrupted by action or by dialogue, the em-dash goes inside the quotes:

"Because--" Mike slammed his drink, "--I got nothin' else."

-

"What I really need is--"
"A vasectomy and a pound of saltpeter?"
"--your support."


Since there's not an interruption -- Pinkie is doing something as she's talking; she doesn't stop talking to do it -- the em dash is technically correct outside of the quotes. However, I have never, not once, read anything with a sentence constructed that way. Ever. I'd remember. And I read two or three books a week.

It's technically correct, but it's arcane and it looks wrong and it's one of those constructions that will throw a wrench into the gears of all but the absolutely most educated readers and break the spell. If I saw that construction in a book I would no longer be immersed in the story. I'd be digging for my St. Martin's Handbook and swearing at you when I learned you were correct.

IMO, it should be done with a comma.

“Okay, so this," Pinkie indicated the candy in the center, “is the stallion. And these," she indicated the surrounding candies, “are the mares who like the stallion."
 
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