General and a Legend descirbing the main character... HELP!

[Fyri]

Hi,
I need to know if this description is super confusing or not. I am going to post a paragraph from near the beginning of the chapter, but the main thing I've been concerned about is the two paragraphs describing the legend... Please let me know if you find anything confusing or unclear!!

All of this is being explained to the other characters through the dialogue of another:

"My home is on a different dimension from this one. In my dimension, the universe grants every child with his or her own personal elemental stream, granting them the ability to control one element. That is why we call it Elemental Earth; it is the only Earth with magic like this.

Now, we are each born with the element of our parents. The most common elements, known as the main elements, are fire, water, earth, and wind."


Aaaand the legends...:

“The Lost Elementalist… was a myth.” Mori scrunched his face at the fire in thought. “The legend describing it has many different versions making it hard to keep track of, but I believe this is the most widely known:

“Long ago, when the world was different, a plague of evil attacked our lands. The natural distribution of elements to elementalists was disturbed, causing a rift in the connection of it all. As it goes, the evil was eventually vanquished, though it is unclear how or by what. The stream of elements returned to a normal distribution of one element to each person on Elemental Earth, save for one stream. One elemental stream broke through the dimensional wall and attached itself to a non-magic child, leaving a different child on Elemental Earth without an element of its own. These two souls were supposedly linked through time, named the Lost Elementalist and the Forsaken One.

When the stream of energy found the non-magic child on the lesser earth dimension, it also gained a stronger tie with the origin of magic, causing the child to gain multiple elements instead of one. I have also come to learn from those who seek you that this stream does not follow one blood line, or dimension. The Lost Elementalist’s stream of energy supposedly jumps through every dimension, avoiding Elemental Earth where the Forsaken One is doomed to remain."


Please let me know if anything is confusing! Thank you!!

 

[Terry Greer]

Hard to know without seeing it in context in the story. The first section isn't confusing - but the second one is - too much seems to be being explained in one solid block.

 

[wordwalker]

I hope you're relating this sorting out of elements relate to how any child might have to reconcile two elements if his parents had different ones. (In Legend of Korra we saw an Air-Water marriage that produced one Air, one Water, and one mundane child.) Or maybe mixed matings normally can't have children.

 

[Fyri]

Okay, what if after he explains this, I have the other characters ask questions to clarify things. Would that make it easier on the reader perhaps?

And actually, the elementalists are very prejudiced. If they mate with a different element, they are no longer pure and are banished from their Domain, either by rule of their Elder, society, or both. They become a thing called Mixed Elementalists. This actually makes them seem weaker as they only get half the power of a normal element. But that's better explained later. One cannot really understand that unless I explain the first part of this thread well enough.

The second part is more of a legend to explain who the main character is...

 

[ArenRax]

not really confusing, but id say edit the last bit, i think its a tinsy bit confusing.

 

[Fyri]

Last bit meaning the whole legend or the last paragraph? I'm now working on all of the legend part, especially the last paragraph.

I'll try to make it more spaced out so its not tons of info thrown at the reader at once, like a slap in the face. Heh heh. If you have any other suggestions, please let me know.

Thank you all for your help! I will also be searching for someone to read this whole chapter once I'm finished as it is the "explaining" chapter, but your help now is greatly praised!