Just an appreciation for writing

[R. R. Hunter]

It's the simple things that make me happy. I would say I'm 75% gardener and 25% architect, so I get tickled when I come up with little quips like this.

(Context: Fates = gods. POV is from a 15yo boy who just recently discovered wine lol {In moderation, my goodness} )

“Fates!”

He clutched his elbow and felt wet. Moving it into the beam of light, he could see the blood.

“Fates take me.”

He was not accustomed to cursing, so the sound of the words seemed odd to him. Adults drank wine and cursed all the time—at least, the majority of them did. The wine was savory at least, but the cursing left a bad taste in his mouth.

 

[pmmg]

The wine was savory at least, but the cursing left a bad taste in his mouth.

I think i would be the opposite of this.

 

[R. R. Hunter]

I just recently discovered the magical world of syllepsis sentences.
syllepsis - noun - a figure of speech in which a word is applied to two others in different senses (e.g., caught the train and a bad cold)

Those are a lot of fun to sneak in.

 

[BearBear]

That is fun

 

[Prince of Spires]

Interesting piece.

In general I would agree with pmmg in that I would expect a 15 year old boy to curse without any issue and wonder why anyone would drink alcohol. Of course, that is without knowing the story, world or boy. But I have seen plenty of 15 year old boys (and have been one). Also, the curse doesn't sound all that strong.

 

[R. R. Hunter]

Who wants to hear about a normal teenage boy who's already full of drama and rebellion? It's obvious that I'm stealing the trope (from both fantasy and real life) in which the positive becomes the negative curse. I've been using the curses sparingly throughout the story, but it does feel a little bit out of place here. I think because the circumstances here do not seem to call for a curse. It's like he's saying it just to say it. Which he is. Because I authored it. Right?