Seduction attempts so bad that it wraps around and becomes adorable....

[Naruzeldamaster]

So in one of my projects I have a very...innocent character. She is strong and mighty in numerous ways, but seduction is not a thing she's capable of, she's too shy for it.
One of her antagonists can withstand everything she throws at him, at one point I'm pretty sure at one point she breaks most of the critical bones in his body and he heals right back up again.

This guy is undefeatable in a conventional way, so someone suggests she tries something unconventional.

That thing would be seduction, which is not a thing her race normally partakes in (Unless they wish to be exiled) and her caretaker misleads her on seduction technique, because she's too innocent for actual seduction.

The gag is of course she fails so bad trying to seduce him that her antagonist winds up falling for her. The scene itself is just, some really terrible and socially awkward flirting. Most of the present cast in the scene are floored at the awkwardness. Still wonder if the joke is too silly to include.

 

[pmmg]

Is the question here, include the scene or not?

I think it could make for some good stage business, and may give the characters some deeper levels of complexity, which would seem to be a win in the developing characters measure.

But...if the scene is a one off, and then forgotten...of what value is it?

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

Is the question here, include the scene or not?

I think it could make for some good stage business, and may give the characters some deeper levels of complexity, which would seem to be a win in the developing characters measure.

But...if the scene is a one off, and then forgotten...of what value is it?

I'm debating the joke becoming a tiny bit of a running gag (She thinks it'll work on everyone cause it works on the one idiot who does fall for it kind of thing) but I'm not sure how often to use it, because I feel like the joke will only be funny so many times. Two maybe Three more times might be enough.

It's a little bit of growth for her character, shortly after she realizes actual seduction has nothing to do with how you act. (though she knows that is part of it, she understands what her master was trying to teach her about romance.) The Character growth is her learning to tackle more awkward subjects she'd have never thought to try before.

 

[Prince of Spires]

Write it and see if it works.

My main thought is that as a reader I tend to dislike characters that are stuck in one place and never grow but rather keep making the same mistake over and over again. So if it's plot relevant, then I would probably grow annoyed that she doesn't learn at all. If it's just a funny side interaction that doesn't really impact the plot, then it's fine for me.

Side note: this doesn't go for highly competent characters who don't need to grow to solve the plot. They just need to keep being awesome. Think James Bond. He's just awesome and that's his whole point. Different kind of character...

 

[Rexenm]

Give her a male role model. Someone in a metal band, with a hairdo who mails her a bunch of cash. Or maybe since we’re talking fantasy, the local gladiator pays her exorbitantly.

 

[pmmg]

I think three is the limit. Three works its way in there many times. Its almost like there was a rule of three

I would suggest each usage should build in the last culminating in epic fail as what they believe is true comes crashingly not or unbelievable success where all that was believed about her is shown false.

 

[The Dark One]

As an aside... In my first ever published novel there was a long scene which was absolutely hilarious - easily the funniest scene in a book which has many humorous incidents / lines. Trouble was, the publisher said the book was way too long and he wanted me to cut it down (a lot).

After much anguish, that funny scene went, but it was easy to justify because it definitely strayed from the spine of the plot and that has become my mantra - never stray from the spine.

Will your seduction idea cause you to stray from the spine? If yes, I wouldn't use it. But it's your story.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

As an aside... In my first ever published novel there was a long scene which was absolutely hilarious - easily the funniest scene in a book which has many humorous incidents / lines. Trouble was, the publisher said the book was way too long and he wanted me to cut it down (a lot).

After much anguish, that funny scene went, but it was easy to justify because it definitely strayed from the spine of the plot and that has become my mantra - never stray from the spine.

Will your seduction idea cause you to stray from the spine? If yes, I wouldn't use it. But it's your story.

It shouldn't, the seduction bit is part of how she attains the title of dragon (Yes it's a 'title' in this book, and it means more than just scaly lizard with wings) the other times she offers to use that tactic are very quick scenes, not quite as in depth as the first attempt (the only one that actually works) two of the times she tries again she's outright denied by the rest of the cast. (For humor, not for the sake of keeping her in that illusion of success)

 

[Devor]

So as others have said, there's a bit of a rule of three, and there should be some kind of development each time. That roughly holds true even for side traits like this one.

I don't know your book, but my first thought was that she should try and fail before she tries and (roundaboutly) succeeds. Maybe the first time she tries she's so extremely uncomfortable that she makes a weak effort and people just go "What was that?!" Then, the second time, she's determined to lean into it fully, she goes all out, it's so bad it's cute, and it works. Then maybe the third time, a different character tries to use seduction.... and just badly copies whatever it was she did since it worked so well. That, to me, would a great gag sequence.

Which leads me to: Development doesn't always mean growth, especially with a side trait, and especially with humor. If you think of it as developing the gag, instead of the trait, it's great if the third part of the sequence is something completely unexpected like that.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

So as others have said, there's a bit of a rule of three, and there should be some kind of development each time. That roughly holds true even for side traits like this one.

I don't know your book, but my first thought was that she should try and fail before she tries and (roundaboutly) succeeds. Maybe the first time she tries she's so extremely uncomfortable that she makes a weak effort and people just go "What was that?!" Then, the second time, she's determined to lean into it fully, she goes all out, it's so bad it's cute, and it works. Then maybe the third time, a different character tries to use seduction.... and just badly copies whatever it was she did since it worked so well. That, to me, would a great gag sequence.

Which leads me to: Development doesn't always mean growth, especially with a side trait, and especially with humor. If you think of it as developing the gag, instead of the trait, it's great if the third part of the sequence is something completely unexpected like that.

I actually like this idea, it seems better than her offering to seduce someone because she thinks she's so good at it. Could even have her explain why it failed for the person that tried to mimic it.

 

[SamazonE]

I think there are all sorts of unspoken rules surrounding romance. There are epic battle scenes in all books. Sometimes books are solely dedicated to battle.

I do however believe it is important, that there is a misstep. That is the true condition of seduction.

 

[Qaraq1001]

The idea sounds like it has lots of potential for charm and surprise. Doesn't need to be silly if there's the tension that they are antagonists. There's also the question: if her lame seduction succeeds, then what happens to her? Does she fall if the opponent falls? Seems like stakes and consequences must shift if you want more than silly and you want the seduction idea to further your story between protag and antag.