Sharing my first book

[Bick vire]

My first book “The lost stone and the forgotten pact” is now live and available for purchase in the Kindle Store

Amazon.com: Ushinawareta ishi to wasurerareta keiyaku (Japanese Edition) eBook : Bikku vaia: Kindle Store

Amazon.com: Ushinawareta ishi to wasurerareta keiyaku (Japanese Edition) eBook : Bikku vaia: Kindle Store

a.co

You can cheak this out If you enjoy reading books which has fantasy, action, adventure, mystery or even romance it has allll...


I would be very happy if some of you will read my book....

 

[pmmg]

My first book “The lost stone and the forgotten pact” is now live and available for purchase in the Kindle Store

Amazon.com: Ushinawareta ishi to wasurerareta keiyaku (Japanese Edition) eBook : Bikku vaia: Kindle Store

Amazon.com: Ushinawareta ishi to wasurerareta keiyaku (Japanese Edition) eBook : Bikku vaia: Kindle Store

a.co

You can cheak this out If you enjoy reading books which has fantasy, action, adventure, mystery or even romance it has allll...


I would be very happy if some of you will read my book....

I like the cover art, but, I hate to say, the shifting between english and Japanese is not working in the way I think you hoped it would. I find it very distracting and would not likely finish a book formatted in this way. I suggest you publish an english copy and a Japanese copy separately.

 

[Bick vire]

I like the cover art, but, I hate to say, the shifting between english and Japanese is not working in the way I think you hoped it would. I find it very distracting and would not likely finish a book formatted in this way. I suggest you publish an english copy and a Japanese copy separately.

Thank you for your valuable feed back. Now Do you want me to change the script in kdp now and republish it with only English txt or do you want me to let this book be and publish this book again with only English & jap text version separately ???

 

[Prince of Spires]

Thank you for your valuable feed back. Now Do you want me to change the script in kdp now and republish it with only English txt or do you want me to let this book be and publish this book again with only English & jap text version separately ???

Before you change anything, first thing about who your readers are and if pmmg is one of them.

Now, I agree with pmmg that this book is not for me. I don't like the switching between japanese and english. However, I'm guessing I'm not your target audience. If that is japanese children looking to learning english, then this may very well work. Are there any similar books that do this? I know of some children's picture books that do this with chinese for instance.

As a side note, I think your blurb can be improved. For starters, blurbs don't start with "�� Book Blurb for The Lost Stone and the Forgotten Pact". They just start. Everyone shopping on Amazon for books knows that's the blurb. Telling them looks amateurish.

There's also some repetition of words that feels awkward, like
"
now it’s gone, and drought creeps in like a curse.
Now the wolves squad
"
And you switch to past tense in "Now the wolves squad "a marksman with a haunted past, a spirited Mage, and a reluctant swordsman" went on a quest to find the stone". You're going with present tense in the blurb, so it should be they go on a quest.

The content of the blurb isn't the best either. It feels a bit shallow and generic for me. But even if it was better, these small things would stop me from even reading it or purchasing it.

The cover is okay. I don't like that your author name is missing from it. That makes it stand out, though for me not in a good way.

 

[Bick vire]

Tank you for the critic and i made this in both jap and eng txt because I want to send it to japan... And also now I'm making a script with only english txt I'll publish it soon on Amazon... I'll update on that when it's done. and also I didn't wrote the books blurd it was my cousin whos wrote it was a big mistake of me I thought the same thing about it too. But he said let it be so I didn't gave much thought to it but now I regret that.. I'll change it soon... And the cover page it was Itenstional i thought it would stand out... But it's not . I'll change it now... And also about the word "it's gone" It is supposed to be like that in that situation if you want I can change that while uploading it with on english txt. ..

 

[Bick vire]

An

Before you change anything, first thing about who your readers are and if pmmg is one of them.

Now, I agree with pmmg that this book is not for me. I don't like the switching between japanese and english. However, I'm guessing I'm not your target audience. If that is japanese children looking to learning english, then this may very well work. Are there any similar books that do this? I know of some children's picture books that do this with chinese for instance.

As a side note, I think your blurb can be improved. For starters, blurbs don't start with "�� Book Blurb for The Lost Stone and the Forgotten Pact". They just start. Everyone shopping on Amazon for books knows that's the blurb. Telling them looks amateurish.

There's also some repetition of words that feels awkward, like
"
now it’s gone, and drought creeps in like a curse.
Now the wolves squad
"
And you switch to past tense in "Now the wolves squad "a marksman with a haunted past, a spirited Mage, and a reluctant swordsman" went on a quest to find the stone". You're going with present tense in the blurb, so it should be they go on a quest.

The content of the blurb isn't the best either. It feels a bit shallow and generic for me. But even if it was better, these small things would stop me from even reading it or purchasing it.

The cover is okay. I don't like that your author name is missing from it. That makes it stand out, though for me not in a good way.and

 

[Bick vire]

And also should I add a note that this book it has both jap and english txt...
And below that I'll add a like of the book which has only english txt...

 

[Bick vire]

As a side note, I think your blurb can be improved. For starters, blurbs don't start with "�� Book Blurb for The Lost Stone and the Forgotten Pact". They just start. Everyone shopping on Amazon for books knows that's the blurb. Telling them looks amateurish.

 

[Bick vire]

In a kingdom built on secrets. The loss of one single stone can change everything... When an ancient relic vanishes into the mist chaos rises. Royal quest starts to find the relic. the wolves squad rises (an archer, a swordsman and a mage) they goes on a Royal quest to find the stone... And they reveal something even deeper A forgotten pact that was made a long time ago... ( how is this ? )

 

[minta]

Congratulations on launching your book! Mixing English and Japanese is a bold choice, but it might make it harder to reach a wider audience. Are you mainly targeting bilingual fans, language learners, or more general fantasy readers?

 

[Bick vire]

Congratulations on launching your book! Mixing English and Japanese is a bold choice, but it might make it harder to reach a wider audience. Are you mainly targeting bilingual fans, language learners, or more general fantasy readers?

Thank you and you are right it may become harder but my real reason to publish with both text because I want to submit this to japan . And also I'm re publishing this book again which has only english text...