Mindfire
Istar
I had one of those inspiration bursts today and managed to jot the idea down before it escaped me. Please not that it's not so much a scene as it is some raw dialogue between my main character and a secondary character he forms a lifelong friendship with. Or at least that's the plan. I will denote them MC and SC for now*. This comes at a part in the book where MC observes scars on SC's back and leg. MC inquires about the scars, and this dialogue follows:
Yeah, I know. Ick. But I think buried underneath the cheese is a really good moment here and I want very much to include it. Any suggestions on bringing a statue out of this block of marble? Any general thoughts about the line between thoughtful and trite or pretentious?
*The details about the characters' identities are scant because I'd like first opinions to be unbiased. But I will gladly give more details (setting, character traits, role in the plot, etc.) upon request.
**Think "enormous wolverine crossed with a grizzly bear and a giant sloth". They encountered one earlier.
MC: “How did you get those scars?”
SC: “An ursine** took a swipe at me. I was quick. That’s why I’m still alive. But not quite quick enough.”
MC: “That must have been painful.”
SC: “It was. Very. Our people have the ability to heal without scars. But some we keep. I choose to keep these.”
MC: “Why?”
SC: “So I remember. And so you will listen to me when I warn you about ursines or anything else. Wounds are painful. Scars are ugly. But they help make us who we are. So I choose to remember.”
MC: “I have scars too.”
SC: “An ursine** took a swipe at me. I was quick. That’s why I’m still alive. But not quite quick enough.”
MC: “That must have been painful.”
SC: “It was. Very. Our people have the ability to heal without scars. But some we keep. I choose to keep these.”
MC: “Why?”
SC: “So I remember. And so you will listen to me when I warn you about ursines or anything else. Wounds are painful. Scars are ugly. But they help make us who we are. So I choose to remember.”
MC: “I have scars too.”
Yeah, I know. Ick. But I think buried underneath the cheese is a really good moment here and I want very much to include it. Any suggestions on bringing a statue out of this block of marble? Any general thoughts about the line between thoughtful and trite or pretentious?
*The details about the characters' identities are scant because I'd like first opinions to be unbiased. But I will gladly give more details (setting, character traits, role in the plot, etc.) upon request.
**Think "enormous wolverine crossed with a grizzly bear and a giant sloth". They encountered one earlier.
Last edited: