BWFoster78
Myth Weaver
I'm struggling with a scene. I have a minor character, Mari, who will become the love interest for one of the major characters, Dylan. Truthfully, she's not a mage and doesn't play a huge role in the affairs to come other than as Dylan's spouse.
When I conjured her in my mind, I pictured Mari as desperate to get off the farm where she lives and willing to jump at anything that will get her away. Thus, her motivation for pursuing Dylan is somewhat mercenary.
Two problems:
1. I had a beta reader tell me that this attitude impacts Mari's likeability.
2. The scenes showing Mari and Dylan's relationship develop are supposed to add a bit of lightness in the midst of some heavy stuff going down. I fear that the pall of unlikeability will impact the reader's enjoyment of the subsequent scenes.
Here's where I introduce that aspect of her character:
Should I delete this reference to this character trait? It isn't really needed to make the plot work, just the way I envisioned her and an attempt to make a minor character less 2D.
Is the likeability that important here?
Alternately, I could try to strengthen her viewpoint about wanting to get off the farm, but I don't think it would completely rehabilitate her in the eyes of my beta reader.
Thanks.
Brian
When I conjured her in my mind, I pictured Mari as desperate to get off the farm where she lives and willing to jump at anything that will get her away. Thus, her motivation for pursuing Dylan is somewhat mercenary.
Two problems:
1. I had a beta reader tell me that this attitude impacts Mari's likeability.
2. The scenes showing Mari and Dylan's relationship develop are supposed to add a bit of lightness in the midst of some heavy stuff going down. I fear that the pall of unlikeability will impact the reader's enjoyment of the subsequent scenes.
Here's where I introduce that aspect of her character:
When Marisol reached the bottom, she looked expectantly back and forth between Xan and Dylan.
She reminds me of someone. It took Xan a moment to figure it out. Caitlin Farlye.
As a boy of ten, Xan had just started his apprenticeship to Master Rae when the scandal broke. Caitlin, a young lady who lived on a farm outside town, had been caught in an indelicate situation with a merchant’s guard who was passing through town. They’d been forced to marry. Xan had asked the apothecary what the fuss was about.
“Some young ladies growing up in a rural area have but one desire — to get off the farm,” the Master had said. “They’ll do anything, grasp at any possibility to escape the life they’ve seen their mother lead.”
Marisol certainly didn’t live like a typical farm girl, but something about her reminded Xan of Caitlin. Maybe it was the appraising looks she directed at both him and Dylan. Xan moved to Lainey and offered her his elbow. She glared at him but took it, leaving Dylan to escort Marisol.
Should I delete this reference to this character trait? It isn't really needed to make the plot work, just the way I envisioned her and an attempt to make a minor character less 2D.
Is the likeability that important here?
Alternately, I could try to strengthen her viewpoint about wanting to get off the farm, but I don't think it would completely rehabilitate her in the eyes of my beta reader.
Thanks.
Brian