New Fantasy Writer looking for feedback

[jackwilson]

Hello all,

I am currently in the process of writing my first novel. It has been brewing in me for a long time, and a recent development gave me time to think.
Now I want to give this a real chance.

I plan on adding in this post the first draft of my first two chapters and would appreciate any kind of feedback. Happy to get anything from real guidance to simply what you think about it. First question into the void: does it make sense to just give you two chapters? What would be best for feedback?

Context: I have a plan for the book. And by today I have written a little less than half of it. I already know I need to further refine it anyway, that much is clear. I especially need to move further towards showing instead of telling. Would the premise help best to give me some feedback?

Thanks already everyone. Thrilled to be joining your ranks.

Jack

PS. Let me upload the cover placeholder which is more meant to inspire myself than to be the actual cover.

 

[Devor]

Welcome aboard, jackwilson!

You're more than welcome to post a few chapters in the Critique Request forum. What might help most is to give feedback on other stories or drop by other posts to get to know the community a bit. We're a friendly bunch!

 

[pmmg]

Howdy Jack,

Welcome here.

You should *not* post your chapters here, as this area of the site is not protected from public viewing of the outside world. Critique request, as Devor has said, is the better choice. Also, you cannot upload pictures that way.

Since its a work in progress (WIP) I would not recommend posting any of it (see rules below). Write it to the end, and then post. Since you seem new, I will point out that First chapters are always the worst, they have all the work to do. First chapters are the hardest, and get beat up the most. To get a better sample of your writing, its better to look at later chapters. So...the things we measure, can differ depending on chapter. Many writers spend forever on chapter 1. Don't fall into that trap.

You will find, as you write it, that your writing gets better as it goes, and so...Chap 1 will eventually be an example of your bad writing, and the later chapters when you found your feet. You will likely want, without prompting, to rewrite Chapter 1. That does not require feedback.

Eventually, you will need the whole thing reviewed, and the first time, it will likely seem unkind But that just how it goes.

Since no one listens to me, you are, of course, free to post up chapters for review.

 

[Gallio]

Welcome! I like your cover art. Is it your own work?

 

[Dankolisic]

Hello all,

I am currently in the process of writing my first novel. It has been brewing in me for a long time, and a recent development gave me time to think.
Now I want to give this a real chance.

I plan on adding in this post the first draft of my first two chapters and would appreciate any kind of feedback. Happy to get anything from real guidance to simply what you think about it. First question into the void: does it make sense to just give you two chapters? What would be best for feedback?

Context: I have a plan for the book. And by today I have written a little less than half of it. I already know I need to further refine it anyway, that much is clear. I especially need to move further towards showing instead of telling. Would the premise help best to give me some feedback?

Thanks already everyone. Thrilled to be joining your ranks.

Jack

PS. Let me upload the cover placeholder which is more meant to inspire myself than to be the actual cover.

where are the chapters? I would like to read them

 

[Fyri]

Welcome welcome welcome!

Yes, I agree with pmmg, despite his grumbling. XD

It is very hard to finish a first draft if you are also going back and editing as you go. It's common to get lost in perfectionism that way and never finish, or have a very lopsided product.

At this stage, it might be better to simply have someone cheering you on and enjoying the rough draft alongside you.

However, I see two things in your post.

1) Seeking feedback and encouragement for story you are working on, but is not finished.

This, we can certainly help with! I'd suggest posting a summary or synopsis for critique, if you're willing to give away spoilers and such. That way we can examine your pacing and plot points and let you know what we notice (good and bad) from that. It's not as accurate as seeing the whole book, but it's useful to help you figure out if you like the direction your planning while it's not done yet. Also, sharing plans is a great way to build excitement, in others and yourself!

2) You want to improve your writing abilities.

This we can definitely look at as well! Show versus tell can be tricky, but many of us have useful advice and tricks for balancing it. If improving your writing style is your main focus, I'd say feel free to upload any of your writing to the "Critique Request" section. First chapter, various scenes, a short story of no connection to your WIP, what have you!

Just be careful that you don’t get stuck rewriting your beginning. That's where a lot of new writers stop writing. Use what you learn toward your new chapters and edit everything else later.

Remember: You can't polish a draft that doesn't exist. The only thing your first draft NEEDS to do is exist.

 

[Demesnedenoir]

Welcome aboard! Glad to set fire to... I mean, critique your written word.

 

[pmmg]

Yes, I agree with @pmmg, despite his grumbling. XD

 

[Fyri]

O.O Idk where you found this, but it is sending back to my days on Neopets.

 

[pmmg]

Oh yes, neopets. Those cute loveable critters. I wonder what happened to them when i stopped logging in to feed them

Im sure their okay .

 

[Fyri]

Oh yes, neopets. Those cute loveable critters. I wonder what happened to them when i stopped logging in to feed them

Im sure their okay .

Mine were starving even when I was logging in. I only logged in to play on the roleplay forums. XD

 

[Lynea]

Lol, I love that cover, official or not. Yeah, throw something up in Critique Requests and we'll read it

 

[jackwilson]

Welcome! I like your cover art. Is it your own work?

Thanks. Indirectly, yes. I spend quite a bit of time to get it right through adapting AI work until it fit.

 

[jackwilson]

where are the chapters? I would like to read them

Yes, yes. I apologize for the tease. I was nearly non-stop writing for the last week. I was asked to put the chapters in the other section. So here you will find them: https://mythicscribes.com/community...-first-book-sample-chapter.25558/#post-363271

 

[jackwilson]

I'd suggest posting a summary or synopsis for critique, if you're willing to give away spoilers and such. That way we can examine your pacing and plot points and let you know what we notice (good and bad) from that. It's not as accurate as seeing the whole book, but it's useful to help you figure out if you like the direction your planning while it's not done yet. Also, sharing plans is a great way to build excitement, in others and yourself!

Well, first and foremost thanks for the time you took to write all this. It is much appreciated! I just added Prologue and two chapters to the correct section (see above).

But I totally get what you mean with suggesting a synopsis. I have no problems with sharing spoilers, at least for the first book. I believe if you do something, plan for the long haul, so I sketched a complete series arc from the beginning. Now, telling too much about the whole series arc will take away something of the whole experience. So, I won't do that.

My only challenge is a practical one. I need to update the initial synopsis for it to do it justice. As you can imagine a lot of the details changed quite a bit when actually fleshing out the chapters and connecting the story lines. And if I now reread it again in my head, I need some time to actually do that well. Hm. Maybe I could do an updated draft Synopsis? Let me see, if I'll be fed up with editing some time tomorrow or Friday. Then I'll try to do that. Regardless, it's a really good idea. Thanks!

 

[Fyri]

Well, first and foremost thanks for the time you took to write all this. It is much appreciated! I just added Prologue and two chapters to the correct section (see above).

But I totally get what you mean with suggesting a synopsis. I have no problems with sharing spoilers, at least for the first book. I believe if you do something, plan for the long haul, so I sketched a complete series arc from the beginning. Now, telling too much about the whole series arc will take away something of the whole experience. So, I won't do that.

My only challenge is a practical one. I need to update the initial synopsis for it to do it justice. As you can imagine a lot of the details changed quite a bit when actually fleshing out the chapters and connecting the story lines. And if I now reread it again in my head, I need some time to actually do that well. Hm. Maybe I could do an updated draft Synopsis? Let me see, if I'll be fed up with editing some time tomorrow or Friday. Then I'll try to do that. Regardless, it's a really good idea. Thanks!

Editing is so much fun and I hate it at the same time.