5 Keys to Writing Craptastic Fantasy

So you want to write a really bad fantasy novel, eh? You’ve come to the right place. After years of practice, I’ve mastered five ancient techniques for writing shitty fantasy. These methods were pioneered by the elves of the Ethereal Empire during the reign of Xerxian Rhafstorr the Sword-Breaker (in the Twelfth Age), so you … Read more

Suspense and Pacing in Fiction

There are many components to a good novel. An intriguing plot, relatable characters, suitable setting, fluent prose – to name but a few. And also suspense. To keep a reader, you need them to want to know what is going to happen next. You need them to have this constant curiosity, this yearning to find … Read more

Beauty in Simplicity

What does fantasy writing have in common with the culinary arts? One of my guilty pleasures is watching BBC’s Kitchen Nightmares with host Gordon Ramsey.  In each episode Chef Ramsey visits a restaurant on the brink of ruin, and attempts to salvage it.  In most cases the restaurant features a chef who is highly trained … Read more