The Beginning (Help)

[Ifinx]

Mythic Scribes Members,

I started writing a novel recently which is loosely based upon a short story I used in high school for my portfolio. At first I started writing down ideas about different aspects of my novel, working on the plot, characters, and a lot of stuff mainly only the writer knows about his world and it's subjects. Then i crossed over into actually beginning the first chapter, and while it's still a work in progress I'd like to see if anyone here would like to read it and give me some feedback. Ideally someone that would like to stick around for the whole novel to give me feedback, toss around ideas, and become friends.

Background information: My novel is set in a universe that is divided into nine different realms. At the center of these realms is a world called Zerath where the bulk of the novel will take place. The other worlds are similar, but very different. They are laid out as follows 8 realms in a circle around the the 9th. A barrier of powerful interdimensional magic sits between them.

It's about a character that is trying to find his center because he doesn't feel whole. In doing so he finds that what he knew as facts were lies, and what couldn't be possible was. Those he thought he knew he didn't, and across time those horrors finally catch up with him in a form no one could have expected. He has to figure out how to deal with this "evil" with his companions, friends, strangers, and family; but who can he trust for no one seems to be as they are including those closest to his heart. "Nothing is as it seems."

Anyway thanks for reading this, and I hope I get some replies that were inspired in curiosity to want to stick through this to the end.

Always,
Ifinx

EDIT: I just changed the font and size back to normal.

 

[sashamerideth]

Before I get started, please use the standard font. If we want to make your text bigger to read, we can. Changing it is just obnoxious.

Honestly, there really is not much here to go on. Got your standard Hero's Journey and /or Coming of Age thing going on. It sounds kind of interesting, I'd like to critique your first few chapters once you've got them ready. PM me or stick @gmail.com at the end of my username.

 

[Rikilamaro]

Ditto on the font thing, but no worries.
Sounds like a fun story, and I'd be glad to swap ideas and chapters with you. Mine's a bit more girly though. If that's not a problem send me a message.

 

[Ifinx]

I'm sorry about the font and size. I suppose it's just habit from were I normally use those in my finished writing.

I have more I'm gonna add to the plot and everything because I don't want it to be a standard hero setting. I would explain more, but I don't wanna give away the biggest secrets and twists. Do I need to post that chapter on here or would you like to read and comment it on the actual document? I use Google Documents to write and save my work.

Thanks,
Ifinx

 

[Queshire]

I believe there's a section of the forums specifically designed for just such a thing, and using that seems like it would be more convienent to me.

 

[Ifinx]

I posted my first chapter in the "Showcase Section." The title is [Chapter One "Legends"].

Also here is a link: http://http://mythicscribes.com/forums/showcase/2772-chapter-one-legends.html

 

[sashamerideth]

I'm sorry about the font and size. I suppose it's just habit from were I normally use those in my finished writing.

I have more I'm gonna add to the plot and everything because I don't want it to be a standard hero setting. I would explain more, but I don't wanna give away the biggest secrets and twists. Do I need to post that chapter on here or would you like to read and comment it on the actual document? I use Google Documents to write and save my work.

Thanks,
Ifinx

There are already a lot of posts about there of ideas, etc. The gist is, it doesn't happen. The story you and I would write based off the same ideas would be very different. Plus it is a lot of work writing, stealing or copying just isn't worth it.

 

[Ifinx]

@Sasha I'm sorry, but maybe I'm not reading it correctly. What are you saying because when i read that it didn't make complete sense. If your meaning that i should go ahead and explain my other ideas and secrets and that if someone else used them it'd be different. Thats true, but thats not the reason I'm not going into detail about them. Its just i like suspense and giving away all the good major twists in store would ruin it. If that isn't what you were saying I'm sorry I've missed the meaning. It is 4am after all lol. But in any case thank you for the feedback.

 

[Phin Scardaw]

I think that it would help a lot more to generate interest in your story if you at least told us more about the main character and his motivation. Someone who doesn't feel whole isn't really much to go on. If he actually has a piece of himself magically erased, stolen, or transfigured, that would be compelling reason to go on a quest.

Also, what about these nine layers or levels? What makes them different? Why must they be separated? Does the main character travel somehow from one realm to another? You can drop hints as to how this is done, and what he might find there, without giving away too much.

I've been working on two separate stories that both have Nine Realms that exist are separate places in one whole. I don't know why the number nine is so appealing, but there it is. I have a lot of ideas about this, and would enjoy hearing yours.

 

[Ifinx]

I think that it would help a lot more to generate interest in your story if you at least told us more about the main character and his motivation. Someone who doesn't feel whole isn't really much to go on. If he actually has a piece of himself magically erased, stolen, or transfigured, that would be compelling reason to go on a quest.

Also, what about these nine layers or levels? What makes them different? Why must they be separated? Does the main character travel somehow from one realm to another? You can drop hints as to how this is done, and what he might find there, without giving away too much.

I've been working on two separate stories that both have Nine Realms that exist are separate places in one whole. I don't know why the number nine is so appealing, but there it is. I have a lot of ideas about this, and would enjoy hearing yours.

EDIT: Sorry I didn't get to post this last night since the forum went down.

Umm ok. I will do my best to break down the main protagonist and the antagonist along with the realms. First I will start with the Realms.

The Realms were created by accident when the A Powerful being called Zarathar created the world of Zarath and then tried to fuse magic into it. That caused the world to separate into different realms with there own uniqueness. The original world Zerath was fused with magic, but it was balanced between light and dark powers. Earth was the one world created by the separation with no magic for a base only logic. While Aion was the complete opposite it was the world that was rich in highest amounts of magical power. The other realms range from other differences like greater light magics or greater dark magics, etc.

Aidan Belmont: Before his birth while he was still being carried by his mother magic altered his life in a way no one really understood. Although it was majorly hidden from him by spells by his mother until the right circumstances arrive. As a teenager his entire life was ripped from him in one catastrophic event. Moments after this event occurred he couldn't honestly remember a thing and was found by a hunter while tracking a herd of cattle. The man adopted him as his own for he had lost his own family and the boy felt special to him. During his late teen years he learns a few bits of truth about his past, and when he goes to confront his (adoptive) father. He was nowhere to be found. Almost like he had vanished, but there were traces here and there. Needing to know the truth he sets out to find him along with his best friend. The traces lead them to many different places for many different reasons.

That is what compelled him to start his journey. The different realms opposes different places for challenges, but at first he will only discover two of them. So yes he does get to go to the other realms.

Zane Lightshire: Sometime during childhood he suffered from major head trauma during a home invasion. In the attack his parents are killed and Zane was left for dead. He was found and healed from a local healer named Thara, then later adopted. A few years later he met a boy named Aidan and they became fast friends due to them so much alike. Zane learned what happened to his family and wanted revenge against the men responsible. Being so young and experiencing that kind of trauma left him with no memories of what the attackers looked like. Thus is stayed close to his adoptive mother until her death a year before him and Aidan set out on there quest. He hoped that the people responsible for the disappearance of Aidan adoptive father would be the same ones that killed his family. His time for revenge was nye. During his travels with Aidan he learns things about himself and his past that he kept to himself. At first he doesn't trust anyone with this information no even his best friend.

The Woman: She is connected to the Bard, but her identity is a mystery for now.

Revan: This is the main antagonist. He embodies the exact opposite in everything of the main protagonist. A prophet explained that he was doomed from birth to travel a path of great stages of darkness. Each one considerably darker than the last. Him and Aidan are drawn to each other through fate by the hands of a Creature known as a Wisp. (There a race of humanoids made up of pure energy).

 

[Rikilamaro]

Revan: This is the main antagonist. He embodies the exact opposite in everything of the main protagonist. A prophet explained that he was doomed from birth to travel a path of great stages of darkness. Each one considerably darker than the last. Him and Aidan are drawn to each other through fate by the hands of a Creature known as a Wisp. (There a race of humanoids made up of pure energy).

So, the antagonist doesn't have a choice in his being evil? It was written in prophecy; therefore, it must be so? You could go with that, but really I dislike the premise. Will there be suggestions that he tried to better himself, but failed? Or are we supposed to just hate him because he's evil and never see a single redeeming quality?

 

[Ifinx]

So, the antagonist doesn't have a choice in his being evil? It was written in prophecy; therefore, it must be so? You could go with that, but really I dislike the premise. Will there be suggestions that he tried to better himself, but failed? Or are we supposed to just hate him because he's evil and never see a single redeeming quality?

No he is 99.9% evil, but again their is a reason. I must say it took me awhile to come up with it and it's perfect. The characters had a cast and their own stories told it. So its their credit. I will explain a little more in a private message.

Ifinx