Short Story Question

[AudreyTheDaydreamer]

I'm writing a short story that will be surrounding a village girl and a local legend of a deity known as The Weaver, who controls the fates of every living creature. The protagonist and a couple of her friends venture into the caverns where this entity is said to reside, which will be the bulk of the text. I want the theme of the story to surround taking ones life into their own hands despite uncertainty. The ending is going to either be her discovering that the entity is not real or her discovering that the entity IS real, but it's nature is not what she expects. Either way, the big reveal and the events that lead up to it are supposed to make her realize that she has the capability to make the life that she wants for herself. In the beginning, she is a bit meek and skittish, and feels generally hopeless with her situation. Are there any thoughts on which climax would be more interesting to readers? This is a very highly magical world, mind you. I just thought that the omission of the actual deity might be impactful to the message itself. Nobody is coming to save you. It's the nail in the coffin that sparks her change into a more proactive and determined individual. I could see it being interesting either way, but am interested in other opinions.

 

[pmmg]

I thought I answered a question just like this a few days back...

I'm gonna say, I am having difficulty with the treatment of the deity. The way its presented is as if there would be some type of absolute proof. But deities can be strange creatures. The fact that she does not find one does not mean there are no (or is no) deity. And it could very well be the deity does not appear, and she walks away with the message you want, but the deity just has its own reasons. Maybe it knew, if it appeared, she would not make the leap and it chose a path that led the outcome of a stronger character. And often with deities, faith grows in times of hardship, even though it would seem it should not. There is just a lot of ways this could play out, and no absolute is required.

Anyway...I favor finding the entity but its not what she thinks. I think there is more room to be clever and profound with that. But...I am sure it can still be told with the other option.

 

[Sunderlin_30]

It would be interesting if this deity appeared throughout her story, leading up to her entrance into the cavern. I love incorporating "love notes" in my stories—these are hints or thought-provoking elements that subtly connect to the deity's presence. I think the buildup is the most enjoyable part!

For the climax, perhaps the deity is a manifestation of something, and the events that occurred are directly influenced by this deity. However, why not explore the idea of the deity as a symptom of the magic in the world, a personified symbol?

Again, I enjoy elements that make readers think!

 

[AlexS]

Self-agency is a strong theme.
Consider giving the deity humanlike flaws - petty, vain, fearful, etc., and show the protagonist's disappointment at this.
She's looking for the wonderful wizard of Oz, but finds a small scared man behind the curtain - if not literally, then allegorically.

 

[bodiz]

It depends on the kind of story you want to relate. I would like to read about the main character's adventure, growth and the obstacles that were overcome. In the end she discovers the deity is real but the message is that she is the one that overcame the obstacles, not the deity. Maybe sprinkle in a bit about how the deity might be able to shine a light on her path at times but her growth is due to her own actions. She learns The Weaver doesn't create a fate that is inescapable but can help to bring clarity and form to the patterns of life. Kinda like the idea that sculptors would say they didn't create the statue, they just chipped away until what was already inside the stone was revealed.

 

[SamazonE]

I think the deity repents a personal growth in the character. As they enter the cave they see gems and stalagmites and stalactites. Maybe the path forward is lit by sprites or maybe some growing fungus. Mushrooms could send spores, lichen could appear as fluorescent.

If it is a short story, I would ask some questions. Something about the character development when you view it as a plot arc. People knowing what the outside world is like when viewed from a perspective.

 

[minta]

Both could work, but I’d lean toward her discovering The Weaver isn’t real. It ties perfectly to the theme real strength coming from within. The reveal would hit harder emotionally.

 

[Genly]

If the deity isn't real, then yes, the story will be about personal growth in the character, due to her interaction with the idea of the deity rather than the deity itself. Maybe along the lines of "I'm on Aslan's side, even if there is no Aslan."

 

[xena]

Self-agency is a strong theme.
Consider giving the deity humanlike flaws - petty, vain, fearful, etc., and show the protagonist's disappointment at this.
She's looking for the wonderful wizard of Oz, but finds a small scared man behind the curtain - if not literally, then allegorically.

I agree with you.