'A life changing moment'

[Azul-din]

'A life changing moment' is very nearly a cliche' - but did you ever try to write one? I have a MC on a deserted city street facing a hired assassin, just realizing t.hat she is not the same person she was when she escaped to the human world in order to be a writer. So- in fifteen words or less...

 

[pmmg]

Fifteen words....

He's down. My gun pointed...but...I cant... I wont... I dont kill. Not anymore.

So what are you asking?

Generally, a life changing moment is not really a moment but something that has been building in the story and the character for a long while. Maybe since page 1. If your girl is finding out she's not the same person, I would expect scenes showing who she was, how she wishes it was different, and culminating in moment where a choice before her, and she can make a different decision. If the story has not be building to it, What brings this about and why would it be credible.

I'd suggest, if she wants to be a writer, she should spend less time on deserted city streets with assassins, and more time sitting in a dark room with a glowing screen in front of her.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

Most of ours are pretty subtle, but this one is pretty straight to the point. Sometimes life gives us few signs, and sometimes it's the kick in the head we needed. This is from Faerie Rising: The First Book of Binding...

...

Winter watched Etienne take Brian’s hand, her mind racing as the three fae introduced themselves. She needed to lie, but what could she say? She’d been lying to Brian for years and now it seemed he knew something, after all. But how? “What did Jessie tell you?”

Brian shook his head. “She didn’t tell me anything. But street kids see a lot of things other people don’t.” He shrugged. “I saw some strange stuff before Norah and Jake adopted me.” He glanced back at the fae behind her. “But why are you here?”

Winter reached into her bag for a tube of forgetting powder, but the moment it touched her hand Brian changed. The spark of magic within him, before like a candle’s flame, burst into golden, glorious life, brighter than anything she’d ever seen.

Lana and Cian gasped, and Etienne swore. “He’s a fucking Hero?”

Winter dropped the forgetting powder and bowed her head, defeated by Fate. Brian’s Hero’s Journey had begun.

 

[Azul-din]

Most of ours are pretty subtle, but this one is pretty straight to the point. Sometimes life gives us few signs, and sometimes it's the kick in the head we needed. This is from Faerie Rising: The First Book of Binding...

...

Winter watched Etienne take Brian’s hand, her mind racing as the three fae introduced themselves. She needed to lie, but what could she say? She’d been lying to Brian for years and now it seemed he knew something, after all. But how? “What did Jessie tell you?”

Brian shook his head. “She didn’t tell me anything. But street kids see a lot of things other people don’t.” He shrugged. “I saw some strange stuff before Norah and Jake adopted me.” He glanced back at the fae behind her. “But why are you here?”

Winter reached into her bag for a tube of forgetting powder, but the moment it touched her hand Brian changed. The spark of magic within him, before like a candle’s flame, burst into golden, glorious life, brighter than anything she’d ever seen.

Lana and Cian gasped, and Etienne swore. “He’s a fucking Hero?”

Winter dropped the forgetting powder and bowed her head, defeated by Fate. Brian’s Hero’s Journey had begun.

Brilliant! The emergence of a hidden identity or power is more or less what I was talking about

 

[Mad Swede]

Life changing moments? Those can be many things. Emotional, physical, or some combination. For it to work the moment has to fit in the context of the story without being too obvious. It's the moment of realisation that can be so hard to convey well. This is from the first novel, and I hope the translation is OK.

...

Thérèse admired his warm yet crooked smile. He was good looking in an oddly rugged way. And it felt so right. Was this what being with someone really meant? That feeling of love, warmth and security.

 

[Azul-din]

Fifteen words....

He's down. My gun pointed...but...I cant... I wont... I dont kill. Not anymore.

So what are you asking?

Generally, a life changing moment is not really a moment but something that has been building in the story and the character for a long while. Maybe since page 1. If your girl is finding out she's not the same person, I would expect scenes showing who she was, how she wishes it was different, and culminating in moment where a choice before her, and she can make a different decision. If the story has not be building to it, What brings this about and why would it be credible.

I'd suggest, if she wants to be a writer, she should spend less time on deserted city streets with assassins, and more time sitting in a dark room with a glowing screen in front of her.

I was kidding about the fifteen words. But well done! Yes, Sylvie is mainly interested in finishing her book, yet back in her realm, certain people are taking advantage of her being in the human world to have her killed, which on her homeworld where she is Queen Elect, I guess you'd say, killing a queen who has survived a death challenge would be grounds for obliteration. Yes, I've been building to this moment, as she learns things about her homeworld that show it is not the heroic fantasy she had imagined it to be.

Life changing moments? Those can be many things. Emotional, physical, or some combination. For it to work the moment has to fit in the context of the story without being too obvious. It's the moment of realisation that can be so hard to convey well. This is from the first novel, and I hope the translation is OK.

...

Thérèse admired his warm yet crooked smile. He was good looking in an oddly rugged way. And it felt so right. Was this what being with someone really meant? That feeling of love, warmth and security.

Tit for Tat- here is how it eventually worked out:

So you do intend to return?' Shadow persisted..

Sylvie thought of the reforms to the punishment if criminals she had half promised herself to make. And what about Lower Town itself? Was it right that it should be almost a second kingdom? 'I will when my task here is done,' she said, realizing in the same moment that she spoke the truth.

 

[Prince of Spires]

The important thing to keep in mind here is that the actual scene matters less than you'd think.

The example A. E. Lowan gave is beautiful and powerful (as their writing always is). However, this scene becomes a lot stronger if you know that there has been a build-up to this scene (for this character) with several references to it before it occured. If we know why the change matters to the character, then we can root for the character and the whole thing becomes a lot more powerful.