Discovery of a new monster

[George Lightgood]

I have a monster of particularly foul temperament that was born in my closet. (I use a walk in closet for writing and, yeah, there are a lot of tangential jokes we can run with, but that is another subject!) Lately the monster follows me everywhere, especially where I am vulnerable -- the shower, late at night when I wake up, while running.

He tends to live on my shoulder or head and his vocabulary is limited to saying things like "You are such a f---ing loser, who would ever want to read your shitty book?" or "What a poser! As if YOU can write anything as well as fill in the blank can!"

He grows strong and seems to live off of enthusiasm, optimism and hope. Mostly I try and ignore it and soldier on. 'Taint easy sometimes. Oddly, he did not exist when I wrote just to write. Add in some aspiration to be published and congratulations its a brand new baby monster!

Any of you ever seen one like this? Silliness aside, I would love to hear how other people deal with "The Voice in Your Head".

 

[Guy]

I think all writers have confidence issues. My solution is raw stubbornness. I take break from time to time, but I always come back to it. Or I slow down from writing several pages a day to being able to barely tap out a sentence or two, but ultimately I keep going. Also, it helps if you get an honest review or two and they come back mostly positive. It confirms that, although I'm not perfect, I at least have a decent grasp of what I'm doing.

Now that I think about it, it might not be stubbornness so much as bizarre compulsion.

 

[Trick]

My solution is raw stubbornness.

This.

And, knowing that even if you are not good enough yet, the only real way to get better, to become great, is to keep writing.

Throw that monster to the ground and make that closet a torture chamber for him! You are the master of your writing!

Now that I've given a short pep talk, why not try writing a story wherein you are the MC and the monster is physically manifest. Perhaps the monster could suffer a violent death?

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

I've heard it said, a little arrogance is a useful tool for a writer. Sprinkle in some healthy self-delusion and you've got the ingredients for success. Why? Because we need to believe in ourselves in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. So either choose to know, deep down, that you are capable (given time) or choose to doubt yourself.

You've recognized one the major contributors to self-doubt, comparing ourselves to other writers...most likely our favorites. The writers you love (and likely emulate) are where they are for a reason. They worked their tails off. Don't expect to start churning out masterpieces, or anything that resembles good writing, the moment you sit down. It takes years and years. It takes a lot of time and effort, which is why people say "Write every day."

When you compare your beginning efforts to a piece that's benefited from years of experience, multiple revisions, critiques from a large breadth of beta readers, and professional editing, of course you should expect it to be better than your writing. That's an unfair comparison.

As a reader, we typically see only the polished effort. We might proclaim it genius, but we never see the work in the background that got it there. Understand this and allow yourself the same time and effort needed to attain that level of mastery.

 

[Ryan_Crown]

Oddly, he did not exist when I wrote just to write. Add in some aspiration to be published and congratulations its a brand new baby monster!

I've been struggling with the very same issue -- never had any worries when I was writing just for fun, and just for me. I decide to get serious and see if I can write something worth letting other people read, and suddenly non-stop self-doubt. So far the only real solution I've found is to focus on the part I love -- the writing. Because even with all my fears and doubts and worries, I still love to write. So I try to keep that fact foremost in my mind, and leave the rest for down the road (like when I'm actually ready to publish something). Not always successful, but better than nothing.

Thanks to the other posters for their advice -- very much appreciated!

 

[Incanus]

Oh, yes. This creature has reared its ugly head over my shoulder many a time. Its presence, however, has been rather inconsistent--it tends to wax and wane. But it can be a horrifically vicious pest when it is ascendant!

why not try writing a story wherein you are the MC and the monster is physically manifest. Perhaps the monster could suffer a violent death?

This is more or less what I did. I wrote a story to get me going again that essentially gave me 'permission' to write, and to belittle or banish such doubts. (It was pretty short, so I put it up in the Showcase)

I am incessantly comparing myself to "fill-in-the-blank" as well. It is difficult not to, as "fill-in-the-blank" is such a great writer. When I'm in a more 'upbeat' mood, I like to think that I am a unique amalgam of my favorite authors: reminiscent of many, but not exactly like any.

 

[Penpilot]

I think everyone has these thoughts and feelings once in a while, even professionals. Check out this link to a short podcast with four professional writers. Writing Excuses 8.13: Fake It Till You Make it » Writing Excuses

It's not exactly the same as what you're talking about, but it shows even successful can doubt themselves.

For myself, I hear the voices and I use them to keep me grounded, as in don't get too full of yourself. Other than that, they're useless to me.

If you think about it, we're all born with zero skills, but we all learn. Some learn faster than others, but we all have to learn. So when the voice says to me that I can't do something, it's a useless statement, because I may not be able to do something now, but I know I can learn how to do it if I wanted to. It'll just take time and effort on my part.

The first step in someone else believing in you is you believing in yourself. I'm not talking about false belief or delusion, but belief that if you work hard and smart at something, you will get better. For me, that's the whole process of writing a book. The first draft may be bad, but I can make it better. The second draft may be flawed, but I can make it better. ETC.

Writing is like a sport. You can't expect to pick up a baseball bat for the first time and hit a 100mph pitch. You need training, lots of training, hard, gruelling training, with lots and lots of strikeouts.

Control the things you can control and just write the best to your ability and try to get better whenever you can. If you do that, either things fall into place or they don't, but at least you'll always have a chance. If you believe the voices and give up, then you don't have a chance, ever.

When you put your heart into anything and really want to succeed, if you ain't cryin', you ain't tryin'.

 

[Guy]

You've recognized one the major contributors to self-doubt, comparing ourselves to other writers...most likely our favorites. The writers you love (and likely emulate) are where they are for a reason. They worked their tails off. Don't expect to start churning out masterpieces, or anything that resembles good writing, the moment you sit down. It takes years and years. It takes a lot of time and effort, which is why people say "Write every day."

When you compare your beginning efforts to a piece that's benefited from years of experience, multiple revisions, critiques from a large breadth of beta readers, and professional editing, of course you should expect it to be better than your writing. That's an unfair comparison.

As a reader, we typically see only the polished effort. We might proclaim it genius, but we never see the work in the background that got it there. Understand this and allow yourself the same time and effort needed to attain that level of mastery.

And even if you ever do get as good as your favorite authors, they still have their share of detractors. Plenty of fantasy fans don't like Tolkien or other writers often considered grand masters of the genre.

 

[Guy]

It's tough to keep going sometimes. Years ago I followed the traditional route and submitted to damn near every publisher in the genre, a truly maddening exercise since every one of them has different submission requirements - and was shot down by every one of them. I read the publishing industry has a fairly high turnover rate, so I waited a year and submitted again - and was shot down again. And this was before I had internet, so I had to go by the Writers' Guide. As soon as that guide was published, the info in it was already a year out of date, so I had no idea if the editor I was submitting to was still with that publisher. I continued with this after I got internet - and continued to get shot down. Then I read agents were the way to go, so I sent submissions/queries to agents - and was shot down by every one of them. The writing business kicked the ever-lovin' crap at of my pride and self-confidence. Then, after it knocked me down, it seemed like it would hit me a few more times until I stopped twitching. But I couldn't stop. I felt like like those people in those extreme survivor stories - getting mauled by a bear and crawling a hundred miles back to civilization, that sort of thing. Like those survivors, I just couldn't make myself stop. I'd stop for a breather now and then, but I always resumed the death march. No matter what happens, just keep moving forward. My brain wouldn't let the story go. It would chew on it, like a dog refusing to surrender its master's slipper. It might drop it for a little while, but it always picked it up again and resumed chewing. I couldn't walk away from writing if I wanted to.

 

[Jabrosky]

And even if you ever do get as good as your favorite authors, they still have their share of detractors. Plenty of fantasy fans don't like Tolkien or other writers often considered grand masters of the genre.

Not to mention that the people who end up reviewing your stories aren't always coming in with fully objective, dispassionate mindsets. I've observed that if people are predisposed to disliking you for whatever reason, or get a kick out of mocking and putting down others, they'll give your work a far more critical (read unfavorable) evaluation than other reviewers. These guys will zero in on whatever flaws they perceive in your work and blow them out of proportion.

And then you have reviewers who reject it merely because it doesn't square with their own ideological views. I have seen white supremacists on forums like Stormfront and the Phora laugh at my "crappy" visual artwork and writing because my choice of themes clash with white supremacist (er, nationalist) ideology.

Of course, the flip side of this are friends and family who gloss over your work's flaws because they love you and don't want to hurt your feelings.

 

[George Lightgood]

Thanks everyone. I am not so naive in life as to not have faced down many a gremlin over the years, but even so, this one is a resilient #*%!

Writing is always something I have done, but aside from a little bit of daydreaming, never took the time to write for publication. Oh yes, I knew it would take time. Time which I didn't spend and had other things going, anyway. So I wrote for me. Until recently, when the urge to write for publication took hold. Despite having been forewarned (from various famous authors' "how to" books on writing) it was surprising how quickly the lil' gremlin of doubt showed up.

Thank you all for such well thought out replies that take the time from your own endeavors.

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Keep writing for yourself.

My worst material is the stuff I write when I write for somebody else. For example, my wife thought I could pull off children's books because I tell stories to my daughters. Some of them are really awesome, so I thought it might be a good move too, but... part of what works is that my kids get to interact with the different characters when I tell the stories. Anytime I try to write for an audience that hasn't met these characters, my own kids stare blankly as I read. They see I changed the characters, and in doing so, I killed the fun.

When I write these same characters for fun, it's usually not something that'll sell... and even stories I write then tell my kids need to be revised first, but if I like my own work I'm on the right track.




Without going into detail on my WIP, I'm having the fun I had with my first (only) novel. Once I hit 10,000 words, I'll know I've got a keeper. I've written a few that didn't make the 10K mark, but I say that without regret. There's nothing wrong with a work turning out to be practice. For me, I have to enjoy the process of writing and I have to enjoy the product I create. If I don't have that, I have no expectations others will enjoy it.

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

Self doubt can be crippling for authors. But a lot of it is in the mindset not of how good you are, but of who you're writing for.

This is one reason I strongly recommend separating out writing from publishing. Because you should (or at least I do) write for yourself. If you can do this, if you can write what you want to write, and create the story you want to read, then self doubt is rendered toothless for the most part. After all, how can you be doubting the quality of your own work if you're enjoying reading it?

Writing should be a joy. If it's not the chances are that you aren't writing for yourself. You're writing for someone else. And you're judging yourself according to what you believe are the standards of others.

Of course as a corollory of that, writing should be a joy. But publishing is hell, because that's when you truly start to critically examine your work and find fault.

So George, the answer to your question - who would want to read your work? - Is you. The problem is that while that's the question you think you're asking the actual question you're asking is - who else but me would want to read my work? And the way out of your bind is to simply ask yourself another question instead - am I enjoying what I'm coming up with?

Cheers, Greg.