Emotions during dialogue

[hotdogwater]

What resources, exercises, or tools do you use when writing your characters emotions during dialogue?

I struggle with writing emotionally charged or intense dialogue. Sometimes I will feel motivated and write it, and I'll think, hey that was pretty good! Then I'll read it back and realize it escalated too quickly, I used the same descriptions multiple times, or I'm not giving the reader enough time/motivation to feel with my character. It starts to feel difficult to balance the show don't tell descriptions of my character, pacing of the dialogue, and keeping the conflict relevant.

Sometimes I will think of a time I felt the same way as my character and write that conversation as if it happened in a novel. Then, I can plug that into the dialogue I'm struggling with. I just want to avoid using the same descriptions again and again. I tightened my fists, I stayed as still as possible, my heart dropped, blah blah. All fine descriptions to use of course, but I want to use more than just the basics.

How can I balance internal thoughts while also not pulling the reader out of the intensity of the scene?

 

[Devor]

I've got a few tricks that I use, but this one is probably the most useful:

Spoiler: Emotional Body Map Graphic

^ This is a graph of where on the body a person feels each different emotion and how.

So for example, anger tends to send a lot of energy to the upper body. So someone who is angry should show it in their arms, their hands, their face, and their chest. They obviously might clench fists and find their heart racing, but they could also be fidgeting with their fingers trying to do something else with that energy, moving their arms a lot while they talk, or press their hands against their chest as if trying to slow their heart down. But that's where they're going to feel it (usually), so the question I have to answer as the writer is what does this character actually do with all that upper-body energy when they're angry?

Or remember when Thanos says that failure "turns the legs to jelly"? Take a look at shame, depression, and sadness.

Huh, I just noticed contempt, and then thought of internet flamers. Strangely fitting.

Incidentally, this is where I grabbed this version of the chart. I think the one I have saved somewhere is shorter, so there are different versions going around.

Emotional Body Chart: Map Your Feelings and Find Balance

Discover how an emotional body chart might help you understand where emotions manifest physically. Learn tips from experts on tuning into your body.

greatist.com

 

[hotdogwater]

That's super helpful, especially for writing unique descriptions while keeping the emotion and feelings relatable and accurate. Thanks for this! I'm gonna print it and keep it with me lol

 

[A. E. Lowan]

I've got a few tricks that I use, but this one is probably the most useful:

Spoiler: Emotional Body Map Graphic

^ This is a graph of where on the body a person feels each different emotion and how.

So for example, anger tends to send a lot of energy to the upper body. So someone who is angry should show it in their arms, their hands, their face, and their chest. They obviously might clench fists and find their heart racing, but they could also be fidgeting with their fingers trying to do something else with that energy, moving their arms a lot while they talk, or press their hands against their chest as if trying to slow their heart down. But that's where they're going to feel it (usually), so the question I have to answer as the writer is what does this character actually do with all that upper-body energy when they're angry?

Or remember when Thanos says that failure "turns the legs to jelly"? Take a look at shame, depression, and sadness.

Huh, I just noticed contempt, and then thought of internet flamers. Strangely fitting.

Incidentally, this is where I grabbed this version of the chart. I think the one I have saved somewhere is shorter, so there are different versions going around.

Emotional Body Chart: Map Your Feelings and Find Balance

Discover how an emotional body chart might help you understand where emotions manifest physically. Learn tips from experts on tuning into your body.

greatist.com

I love this. Awesome resource.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

That's super helpful, especially for writing unique descriptions while keeping the emotion and feelings relatable and accurate. Thanks for this! I'm gonna print it and keep it with me lol

Be merciful on your printer. They're a dying breed. And also, hold on to your butt. Let's see how much trouble I can get us into this time.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

This is a great resource, rich with links and shockingly still up, unlike many others. That's a big attraction to printing. I am the Queen of Copy/Paste and OneNote, a powerful combination.
37 Ways To Write About Anger


Stole this from my writing partner.


This is off Pinterest. You can find infographics like this all day long there. Good luck and godspeed.

https://www.amazon.com/Emotion-Thesaurus-Writers-Character-Expression/dp/0999296345/

This series has 10 books, currently. You want them. All of them. You can thank me later.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

You will find as you advance your writing career that the resources available to us are legion.

Legion.

There's also a lot of crap, and given that 3 million books are published every year there are a lot of opinions out there. That's not even counting the writing side of YouTube. You're on your own for X or TikTok/BookTok. Sorry way too stupid for old lady brain. You're going to do a hell of a lot of homework, and you're going to change the way you read. You're going to lose the ability to just let that disbelief swing in the wind and you'll develop a sense of taste. If you're like me, you'll also lose your temper and your patience. But maybe not. There's only so much evil we can fit into the world, and Absolute Evil Lowan has the market cornered. So, a couple more places to check out...

Get Rid of On-the-Nose Dialogue Once and For All

If you can identify on-the-nose dialogue and learn how to replace it with rich undercurrents of subtext, you're on your way to becoming a master author.

www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com

The 3 Most Effective Types of Inner Conflict

Writers Write creates and shares writing tips. In this post, we write about the 3 most effective types of inner conflict to include in your books.

www.writerswrite.co.za

Body language

By a man’s fingernails, by his coat-sleeve, by his boots, by his trouser-knees, by the calluses of his forefinger and thumb, by his expression, by his shirt-cuffs, by his movements – by…

wondersbook.wordpress.com

There is so much advice out there to inhale and incorporate into our understanding of craft. I literally have thousands of links under Writing alone. I am also a research psycho fruitcake and a run-away academic. So, with all of this information to be had, how do I, as a writer, describe emotions and dialog? (Note: they aren't the same thing.) Usually, I'll act out the interaction. I have the blessing of a large office and just enough pets to form a decent audience, furry little groundlings all. You've found a good place to learn at Scribes. We have writers off all levels of experience and in all places a literary career can take you. Welcome.

Now, get to work.

 

[pmmg]

A lot of good stuff above, and in just a few posts, but why hide the graphic behind a spoiler? Its a good graphic.

I'm gonna say, I dont struggle with writing those scenes, and your question is one of technique, but my answer wont be able to satisfy that request. I dont think those scenes are born of technique, but instead built by the rest of the story that leads up to it. If I am engaged, if I know the characters and the stakes and what it all means, those scenes just spawn out of that. Its not the way its written, but what it all means that matters. If my characters find love, or fall into pain, or do the thing that they avoided for so long... It connects because it has meaning, meaning to the story, the character, and the reader who is immersed in it.

So...my answer is build a story where it all matters and has meaning, and you may find that some readers cry with you.

Fortunately, we get to endlessly rewrite after we have our first draft. That is usually where I am making all this stuff stronger. When I know the scene has meaning, I look to enhance all the stuff that gives it impact. Its a whole story problem, and not a scene one.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

A lot of good stuff above, and in just a few posts, but why hide the graphic behind a spoiler? Its a good graphic.

I'm gonna say, I dont struggle with writing those scenes, and your question is one of technique, but my answer wont be able to satisfy that request. I dont think those scenes are born of technique, but instead built by the rest of the story that leads up to it. If I am engaged, if I know the characters and the stakes and what it all means, those scenes just spawn out of that. Its not the way its written, but what it all means that matters. If my characters find love, or fall into pain, or do the thing that they avoided for so long... It connects because it has meaning, meaning to the story, the character, and the reader who is immersed in it.

So...my answer is build a story where it all matters and has meaning, and you may find that some readers cry with you.

Fortunately, we get to endlessly rewrite after we have our first draft. That is usually where I am making all this stuff stronger. When I know the scene has meaning, I look to enhance all the stuff that gives it impact. Its a whole story problem, and not a scene one.

Mostly to keep from crushing our phone scrollers beneath it. Plus, Devor did it first. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

 

[skip.knox]

There's also The Emotion Thesaurus by Ackerman and Puglisi. They've got several other books along the same lines. Writer's reference stuff.

As Lowan sez, plenty of resources out there, maybe even a whole legion's worth. As the poet said, you just gotta poke around.

 

[Karlin]

I'm writing an emotionally charged scene now. It's a date. Dinner. The two are in their 30's, attracted to each other. Each has gone through years of emotional drought, for very different reasons. The woman came to the date knowing that she was going to stop the developing relationship, because the gentleman is involved in organized crime. There's dialog, and some body language. Nervous tapping, looking down at the table, or at the other's eyes.
I'm a pantser. It looks like it is going to end up differently than I expected.

 

[Prince of Spires]

Lots of great advice here already.

One thing that hasn't been mentioned, is that you should write a lot. Write a piece, read it back a while later and think how you could improve it. It sounds obvious, but it's the only way to really improve. Unfortunately, there aren't any magical get better pills. The above resources will definitely help (I've saved a few for later use ), but nothing beats putting words on paper a lot. This is one of those things that will come if you put a lot of time and effort in there and you try to be concious of it while writing.

I know it sounds like hard work, and that's because it is. But it's like a tennis player perfecting his forehand. Reading how to do it will only get you so far. It's more important to do it, to be critical of yourself, and to push yourself to do better.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

Seconding Prince. Writers get to do homework for a living, work our tails off because this is up there with the hardest job you'll ever have... and then we die. And our reward is that we get to see immortality between the pretty book covers. But that's okay. Pain fades. Chicks dig scars. And glory - immortality - lasts forever.