Expanding a Work

[Garren Jacobsen]

About a year or so ago I started a novel that I had planned to be told in three parts. It was about a young thief from a village of thieves who became a mage that can manipulate gravity and motion. I plan on it being a tale about his fall from being a good guy to becoming a ruthless king, fighting demonic influences and trying to stave off the end of humanity in this world and the next.

The three parts of the story are titled The Youth, The Spy, and The Rebel. The Youth is about the young man's story of getting his village's version of justice on someone that betrayed them. It ends with the killing of the traitor by the boy's hand. That attack is particularly brutal. The Spy is about him spying on an enemy country during a war. It ends with him rushing back to the Infinite Tower, his home, and releasing a demon. The demon then takes him under his proverbial wing. The Rebel is about the young man taking over the nation and installing himself as king. He also banishes the demon to "The Realm Between Worlds." It's a kind of empty limbo that tortures anyone trapped within it. But in doing so he has to rip a piece of the demon's "soul" and take it for himself, which gives him demonic personality traits. At the end he ascends the throne and controls an army of monsters and men.

One major problem I am seeing is that I feel I am rushing a few threads that will make the ending payoff. E.g. corrupt government that makes Garren want to revolt, corrupting Garren, proper showing of his nihilistic thoughts, and others. Also, less important, I want to develop more of the world as it relates to the story, especially the magic system. Finally, some of the important points mentioned above (killing of traitor, and so on) feel rushed to me.

So, for those who may have faced this problem before what was the thought process in resolving it? Any suggestions?

 

[Penpilot]

Without actually seeing what you've written, I'm going to have to take an educated guess at what may be happening.

First, maybe you're not throwing enough problems his way, and/or not having him fail enough. A plot is a series of try-fail cycles in which the character tries something, fails, regroups and tries again. Within that you can have them succeed in something but there should always be consequences to that success. The only time the character should have a clear cut success is at the end.

Have you heard of scene/sequel format? If not here are some links.

jimbutcher: SCENES
jimbutcher: SEQUELS

Second, are you using the three act structure? If you're follow it properly, you'll have a nice gradual build up to the climax. Here's a link to a post where I describe how I see the flow of the three act structure. http://mythicscribes.com/forums/writing-questions/3883-plot-problems.html#post48679

Something that might help you think about how many scenes you have to work with is this. In a 100 000 word book, with scenes that average 2500 words, you'll have around 40 scenes in which to tell your story. When you put that towards the three act structure, that means act 1 is 10 scenes, act 2 is 20 scenes, and act 3 is 10 scenes. So knowing that, you can either speed things up or slow things down as necessary.

Which brings me to three. Are you delving into your character's thoughts and emotions enough? In scene-sequel format, the sequel is where your character has a chance to react to their failures. First they have an emotional reaction to their failure. Second they review their options and think about consequences of each of those choices. Third they make a choice of what to do next, which gives the character their goal for the next scene.

Of note, not all sequels have that second option. They skip from emotional reaction to choice, without deliberation. Reasons may be because there's no time, or the choices and consequences are obvious. For example if the villain pulls a gun. Emotional reaction:Crap. Choice: Run. There's no need for the character to think about the consequences because they're obvious.

I hope some of this helps.