Feeling Not Good Enough

[Chessie]

The funny thing is, I was just about to post a thread with basically the same self-doubt rant in it when you posted this.

Hah, yeah? Geesh, it's hit me all day. I'm just now sitting down to write...like an entire day later than I typically do. I might be overwhelmed though working on 3 manuscripts in different stages...

I'm just feeling like I'm not writing with enough emotion, enough heart, enough anything.

 

[DragonOfTheAerie]

Hah, yeah? Geesh, it's hit me all day. I'm just now sitting down to write...like an entire day later than I typically do. I might be overwhelmed though working on 3 manuscripts in different stages...

I'm just feeling like I'm not writing with enough emotion, enough heart, enough anything.

There are always going to be times when you get into a slump and can't work your best, I figure. But, I've written some of my best stuff in such slumps, so...

For me it's been mostly about being too young. I'm a teenager, I'd dare to say I'm not that bad of a writer, I'm better at least than some stuff I've seen published...I hope. But, still, I often feel that I'm not qualified, that I don't have what it takes, that what I'm trying to do is too hard...but, what am I supposed to do? Wait?

It doesn't help that mine is a very ambitious project. And how do you "write what you know" when you know so little? There are so many life experiences I haven't even made it to yet and what do I do...hold off writing about them? how am I supposed to write my WIP then?

That was kinda off topic from the original discussion, but...it's what my self-doubt sounds like.

 

[SaltyDog]

There are always going to be times when you get into a slump and can't work your best, I figure. But, I've written some of my best stuff in such slumps, so...

For me it's been mostly about being too young. I'm a teenager, I'd dare to say I'm not that bad of a writer, I'm better at least than some stuff I've seen published...I hope. But, still, I often feel that I'm not qualified, that I don't have what it takes, that what I'm trying to do is too hard...but, what am I supposed to do? Wait?

It doesn't help that mine is a very ambitious project. And how do you "write what you know" when you know so little? There are so many life experiences I haven't even made it to yet and what do I do...hold off writing about them? how am I supposed to write my WIP then?

That was kinda off topic from the original discussion, but...it's what my self-doubt sounds like.

Ah finally, someone else mentioned slumps! My work here is finished.

Anyway, I agree and fall into the same situation as DotA, but my ego and attitude have yet to really take a dip yet, as I have not reached the editing stage of my book, once there it will probably drop a few notches, but it's pretty big, so I don't know, lol.

 

[skip.knox]

<snip> And how do you "write what you know" when you know so little? </snip>

Please, absolutely do not worry about this one. First, the statement is vague. What constitutes knowing in the context of writing? Are we talking having direct experience? Verified facts? Empathy? Second, the statement is absurd in the context of writing fantasy. Third, I can name a long list of authors who flagrantly violate this, are successful and brilliant. If you can, forget you ever even heard of this aphorism.

Don't write what you know, write what you feel. Or, in my case, write whatever you can manage to pound into something resembling sense!

 

[Peat]

Preach it Brother Knox!

Look, I've got nothing helpful to say here in terms of you'll read it and you'll climb out the dumps and conquer the world. If I knew something like that, I'd be whispering it to myself day after day, and be God-Emperor of Mankind.

All I can say is I've been there. Lots of people get there. Lots of successful authors. They climbed out of their hole; so can you. That little black dog yapping away at you can be put in its place.

 

[Russ]

Two quick things to add.

"Write what you know" works for everyone. What it means to me is "be aware, be thoughtful of your surroundings, take note of things in the world and about people and put them into your writing." Everybody has some degree of life experience that can and should go into their writing.

Secondly I think Chesterama is right to be concerned about how she will put children through college on a writer's wage. Not because I don't think Chesterama can write, quite to the contrary, I find her consistently thoughtful, intelligent, insightful and learn a great deal from her posts.

I am concerned about that question because of what college costs these days!

 

[skip.knox]

I have to disagree, respectfully, with Russ. "Write what you know" is pernicious and vague. Russ has interpreted it into something useful. "Everybody has some degree of life experience that can and should go into their writing." Absolutely. I agree. That is a useful thing to say. "Write what you know" is pernicious because it leads a great many beginning authors to doubt their own skill unnecessarily. There are plenty of reasons for self-doubt; we don't need to add to the list. That's why I want to kill off the saying.

Also, I wouldn't worry about putting kids through college. I made it through without more than token parental help. My kids did likewise. And the one who is doing best financially went to college not at all. Do what you most desperately want to do with your life. It's what *your* parents wanted for *you* after all.

 

[Russ]

I have to disagree, respectfully, with Russ. "Write what you know" is pernicious and vague. Russ has interpreted it into something useful. "Everybody has some degree of life experience that can and should go into their writing." Absolutely. I agree. That is a useful thing to say. "Write what you know" is pernicious because it leads a great many beginning authors to doubt their own skill unnecessarily. There are plenty of reasons for self-doubt; we don't need to add to the list. That's why I want to kill off the saying.

Am I actually the optimist on this one? It must be a first.

 

[DragonOfTheAerie]

Please, absolutely do not worry about this one. First, the statement is vague. What constitutes knowing in the context of writing? Are we talking having direct experience? Verified facts? Empathy? Second, the statement is absurd in the context of writing fantasy. Third, I can name a long list of authors who flagrantly violate this, are successful and brilliant. If you can, forget you ever even heard of this aphorism.

Don't write what you know, write what you feel. Or, in my case, write whatever you can manage to pound into something resembling sense!

Well...in this case...

It *is* "write what you know", not "don't write what you don't know." So, maybe utilize your experiences as much as you can, but don't limit yourself...

Have I actually experienced *anything* I write about? Ive never broken a bone, been whipped, stitched up a wound, survived in the wilderness...and I've DEFINITELY never ridden a dragon....

 

[FifthView]

This morning on the way to work I listened to this related podcast: 11.28: Impostor Syndrome, with Alyssa Wong | Writing Excuses

 

[Chessie]

Two quick things to add.

"Write what you know" works for everyone. What it means to me is "be aware, be thoughtful of your surroundings, take note of things in the world and about people and put them into your writing." Everybody has some degree of life experience that can and should go into their writing.

Secondly I think Chesterama is right to be concerned about how she will put children through college on a writer's wage. Not because I don't think Chesterama can write, quite to the contrary, I find her consistently thoughtful, intelligent, insightful and learn a great deal from her posts.

I am concerned about that question because of what college costs these days!

Thank you for the compliments, Russ. It's good to hear this from someone I genuinely respect as well! And my son doesn't even want to go to college at this point, but he's only 8 so who knows. I'd like for him to have that option should he ever want it. And if we have more children then they might want that option, too.

Last night, I wrote 300 words. I'm down significantly from my norm. Definitely anxiety but I talk to someone about that. Could be the winter setting in...who knows. It might just be that I have A LOT of work on my plate: 2 manuscripts, trying to get a 3rd one edited, deadlines, marketing, editors, etc. This is a ton of work and I'm sitting here frozen. I even had to push back a deadline by two months. At least, I guess, I'm still trying. It sucks though because the days are flying by and the first novel is fast approaching its November deadline.

 

[ascanius]

So...yeah, it's happened. I've hit a wall, a wall of fear and it's now impossible for me to work. It all started innocently enough by dusting off a short that I wanted to edit.

The wave of stupid washed over me. Whoa, who wrote this crap? Yeah, uh, just who do I think I am trying to get stuff published? Oh, no. This story is terrible. Everything I write is terrible. All my ideas are shallow and should be drowned in a bucket of NOPE.

I don't know. Maybe I'm trying to do too much at once. I've had to put aside my fantasy work to focus on this series that might not even sell reasonably. This is all just so stupid. My relatives think I'm going to fail. My friends have no idea what the hell I'm up to in my mountain fortress everyday. They can't get me out of the house if they tried...and they gave up long ago.

Sometimes I wonder how the heck I'm going to send my kid to college on a writers' salary.

People probably laugh at my idea of a dream, which is signing books at Barnes & Noble but now they're going under and I'll probably never publish with an actual publishing house anyway.

Did manage to find an affordable editor in my genre that came upon recommendation, but will she hate my work, too? I'm ready to hear the truth and want to, but what if she calls it crap splashed on a canvas?

And it's not my prose that's the problem. I have no idea how my prose sounds to the world and have no way of knowing. What I'm talking about here is the fear of getting the structure down, of being a laughing stock: this story is dumb! What five year old wrote this?

I may not be good enough to publish stories. Learning how to construct them has a super steep learning curve I'm still climbing. I read these awesome books and know that they're weaving a tale impossible for me to match. But I've been doing this writing thing all my life...and I'm still not there.

Ugh. Bad morning.

First get out of the house and have some fun with your friends. It's not good to isolate yourself, trust me on this one. Go out every once in a while with your friends, you need time to have fun and your friends can help with the story even if it means giving you time to relax.

Your relatives sound like they suck, ok get over their opinions of your choices, it's going to always be a constant battle that is going to drain you. Take the advice and opinions that are usefull to you. Depending, you know your relatives better than I but I had a friend who's relatives never had anything good to say and I hope that's not your case.

Say it out loud, "this is terrible writting, it seems like a five year old wrote it." Ok say it again for good measure. Ok you said it, out loud too. Now go on a night out with your friends and have fun.

Don't be upset by the fear and self doubt. But don't let it control you. Like others have said we are our own worst enemy. Before you write anything more have someone/ many people read it they will see things you missed, and most likely be it's not going to be what your worried about.

Remember to go out and have fun doing something totally unrelated to writing. You need time to relax even if it's one day.

It really sounds like you are getting burned out.

Good luck.

 

[Daniel]

Hey, if it was easy it wouldn't be worth doing, right? Everyone feels this way at times, but it's perseverance that separates the successful people from the rest. Look at all the authors you admire and aspire to be like - are they angels sent by God? Do they have miraculous powers you and I don't have access to? No, they're human. They make mistakes. They've followed the same thought pattern you have loads of times, and if they can do it why can't you? Too many people look at the destination, but they don't want to go through the process. Let me assure you it's the journey which is ultimately going to teach you the most, and be the biggest testimony for others to aspire to. You think your writing is bad? Well good news: that's because you're improving.