How do you respond to this common question?

[FifthView]

why would it be insulting to imagine someone's uncomfortable with sharing personal, creative work? is feeling fear a sign of weak character or something? I think it's a common, everyday, yet surprisingly powerful emotion.

It's the assumption that just because people may not want to answer the question, this is some sign of insecurity and fear. I.e., your own "guess" –

my guess is simple fear.

Also, "to imagine someone's uncomfortable" is really coming up with a fantasy in your own head to excuse the fact that people don't respond to prying in the way you might presume they should –

There's a real benefit to getting over the stage fright and being able to answer straight off.

– as if all these people who don't answer in the way you think they should must obviously have stage fright.

Isn't another possibility simply the fact that they don't want to be bothered to satisfy your idle curiosity? Or, that because you pry, this doesn't entitle you to an answer?

I don't know who you've been asking or all the circumstances surrounding every instance of your asking, so of course I can't make any assumptions concerning the reasons why you've been met with hostility when you've pried into their creative endeavors. But I wouldn't rest on the idea that all those hostile reactions were always due to stage fright or insecurity on their part.

 

[Russ]

I

Also, "to imagine someone's uncomfortable" is really coming up with a fantasy in your own head to excuse the fact that people don't respond to prying in the way you might presume they should –

Is it really prying if you tell someone that you are writing something and they ask what you are writing about?

– as if all these people who don't answer in the way you think they should must obviously have stage fright.

Be fair to the guy. He didn't say anything about not being answered in the way he wants. All he presented was a sympathetic answer to why some people might be uncomfortable talking about their work and you want to make him out like he is running the spanish inquisition.

Isn't another possibility simply the fact that they don't want to be bothered to satisfy your idle curiosity? Or, that because you pry, this doesn't entitle you to an answer?

If they didn't want to be bothered than why did they tell someone they are writing something? Idle curiously has nothing to do with it.

I don't know who you've been asking or all the circumstances surrounding every instance of your asking, so of course I can't make any assumptions concerning the reasons why you've been met with hostility when you've pried into their creative endeavors. But I wouldn't rest on the idea that all those hostile reactions were always due to stage fright or insecurity on their part.

It appears the idea of a civil conversation is a dying art. IF when someone asks what you are writing and your response hostility it really is your problem and I think O was giving those people the benefit of the doubt on why. Your response makes me wonder if that makes sense.

And this comment remains incoherent to me. Any chance you might explain it:

If I were to make my own assumptions...maybe I'd see a justification for reticence to discuss a creative project with someone who saw answering questions as a kind of proof of courage, a test of mettle, and who used the question as a sounding out of character flaws rather than sincere curiosity about that project.

 

[FifthView]

Russ, are you oenanthe's representative?

The comment that led to this line of conversation was this:

my guess is simple fear. It's hard to imagine revealing something as personal as a creative project to someone and then have them laugh at it, so play it off with a joke.

I'm forever asking people what their book is about, because I am 1. GENUINELY CURIOUS and 2. There's a real benefit to getting over the stage fright and being able to answer straight off. the number of people who react in a hostile fashion to the question really took me aback until I thought, hey. maybe they're afraid to tell you.

Perhaps as oenanthe's representative, you can answer why a slew of individuals would "react in a hostile fashion" to prying and why this is somehow obviously indicative of some fault in them.

 

[Michael K. Eidson]

The first natural question to follow a statement that one is writing something is the question of what the work is about.

Example of how the conversation doesn't go:

"I'm writing a book."

"Oh, yeah? What made you want to write it?"​

Example of how it could possibly go:

"I'm writing a book."

"Oh, yeah? What's it about?"

"What's it to you? You looking to steal my ideas? Can't you be satisfied knowing that I'm so brilliant as to be writing something?"​

Another example of how it could possibly go:

"I'm writing a book."

"Oh, yeah? What's it about?"

"Hell if I know. I'm a pantser, and I'm still pantsing."

"What's a pantser?"

"Yeah, let's talk about something else."​

Another example of how it could possibly go:

"I'm writing a book."

"Oh, yeah? What's it about?"

"It's about a group of monkeys typing random stuff."

"Fine, don't tell me if you don't want to."​

Another example of how it could possibly go:

"I'm writing a book."

"Oh, yeah? What's it about?"

"It's a modern retelling of Orpheus's descent into the underworld to rescue his beloved Eurydice."

"Cool. What made you want to write that story?"​

 

[FifthView]

Michael,

You forgot another way it could possibly go:

"Janie told me you were writing a book!"

"Uh...yeah..."

"So what's it about?"

"It's a fantasy novel."

"Yeah I know. Janie mentioned that. But what's it about?"

"Who are you?"

"That's alright deary," pats arm, "Stage fright's entirely normal. It's okay to be self-conscious about it."

 

[TheCrystallineEntity]

Or like this:

"So, what's your book about?"
"Oh, you know, an amnesiac genderless being from another dimension sent to a fantasy land who falls in love with a shy, half-mute girl with wings and goes on a journey to find the pieces of their heart but later inadvertently causes the world to end and maybe possibly I'm not sure yet freezes to death."
*awkward pause*
"Well, you did ask."

 

[gia]

I really like an exercise I did recently from a book called The Fantasy Fiction Formula by Deborah Chester. She calls it SPOOC. It's a two sentence summary...the first a statement with the first three words and the second a question with the last two words. The acronym stands for:

Situation:
Protagonist:
Objective
Opponent
Climax

Here's an example:

Situation: When his young daughter is kidnapped,

Protagonist: King Faldain

Objective: vows to do anything to get her back.

But can he bring her safely home when

Opponent: the evil wizard Tulvak Sahm

Climax: demands Faldain's soul as the child's ransom?

Been working on mine which helps avoid pitfalls in the plot of my book..obviously, but also works for a nice 2 sentence summary to anyone who wants to know what I'm writing about!

P.S. That's not my SPOOC but the Deborah Chester's

 

[TheCrystallineEntity]

Here's one for my current book:
Situation: When she looses both her memory and her heart,
Protagonist: Oeuyia, along with her beloved Kisa,
Objective: go on a journey to find the missing pieces.
Opponent: There is no antagonist or villain, just the world potentially ending,
Climax: and I'm not sure yet what happens at the climax.

 

[oenanthe]

oh, this looks productive and fun! lemme try.

Situation: When a mysterious gentleman brings a dying witch to his hospital,
Protagonist: A humble Ex-Army doctor
Objective: investigates the witch's murder.
Opponent: But the secret group of mages who control the country
Climax: will kill to protect the real reason for their war overseas.

 

[Russ]

Russ, are you oenanthe's representative?

Nah, I just think bullying comments aimed at new members sucks.

Perhaps as oenanthe's representative, you can answer why a slew of individuals would "react in a hostile fashion" to prying and why this is somehow obviously indicative of some fault in them.

I don't think he has signed the retainer agreement yet. But your question contains a false premise. Perhaps you can explain why a person asking you what you are writing about is "prying."? Reacting to a perfectly polite social question with hostility does imply a problem with the person reacting in that fashion.

And you might even be kind enough to explain what this is supposed to mean:

If I were to make my own assumptions...maybe I'd see a justification for reticence to discuss a creative project with someone who saw answering questions as a kind of proof of courage, a test of mettle, and who used the question as a sounding out of character flaws rather than sincere curiosity about that project.

Actually some people on this thread have responded with wonderful explanations including that they feel their writing is "weird" and fear might just be a factor. I think you have to salute their honesty and openness.

 

[oenanthe]

um.

I don't know if it makes any difference, but I'm a woman. have been all my life, in fact.

 

[Russ]

um.

I don't know if it makes any difference, but I'm a woman. have been all my life, in fact.

Apologies. My bad.

But you still haven't signed the retainer. Looks like I am doing this one pro bono.