Just looking to talk shop about my newish world, Telos.

[Michael Ehrler]

I've been working on my world of Telos for about a year and a half and haven't had too many opportunities to compare notes with writing/world-building peers about it, and when I have it's mostly been about the version of the world I've been using for tabletop games, which is a little more magical for the sake of fun gameplay than the one I want to use for writing fiction.
I've got some Inkarnate maps made up for scale and reference, as well as a 80-something page master document for world building notes. At this point, there are certain concepts and themes of the world that I have nailed down but, especially when it comes to writing fiction, things are still very much a work-in-progress.

If anyone would like to take a look at the maps and document, here is a link to a public google drive folder that contains them, and thanks for any feedback or advice!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/160doKj96k6tSdpaS2m5-zk1OJg3zvSUUkOeS0BBTP-8/edit?usp=sharing

 

[ThinkerX]

quite the read, I liked the bullet point format. Parts of it, specifically the deities and the variant humanoid races are like my efforts.

 

[JBCrowson]

fantastic effort in world history building. Lots of interesting stuff. Some echoes of real world empire rise and fall, echoes of Warhammer, with enough variation to be its own reality.

So what is the story to be?

 

[Michael Ehrler]

fantastic effort in world history building. Lots of interesting stuff. Some echoes of real world empire rise and fall, echoes of Warhammer, with enough variation to be its own reality.

So what is the story to be?

I love real word history, so there's definitely a lot of that injected into the setting.

The main theme of the story I'm working on is the inevitability of change, and how people decide to accept and adapt to it. Currently have a few POV ideas that I'm fiddling with.

I also need to post a link to an updated version of the world building doc with the changes I've made since I joined the site. Some things had to change as I actually started writing and those changes just haven't made it into the document yet.

 

[Michael Ehrler]

quite the read, I liked the bullet point format. Parts of it, specifically the deities and the variant humanoid races are like my efforts.

Yeah, I'm going more low/soft-magic and historical fantasy, so elves and so forth weren't going to be a good fit, so I did some looking into the different human relatives that have evolved and died out over the last few million years for inspiration.

 

[JBCrowson]

That was something I wondered with the level of detail you had - whether as you write a story you need to amend bits to fit the story better. I find that to be the case with my world the more I write in it.

My gods are a little more greco-roman looking, then yours. I think of them and their power as essentially being like spacetime and gravity. One conceptualisation of that is to see spacetime as a rubber sheet and gravity as heavy balls placed onto it. Gravity distorts spacetime, with bigger gravitational forces distorting more. Magic is like that rubber sheet image of spacetime, but willpower takes the place of gravity. The elder gods are singularities of willpower so dense they can do almost anything, but are incredibly destructive to the mortal realms simply by being in them kind of like sentient black holes. The lesser and minor gods all need worshippers to boost their willpower to enable them to perform godly acts. They can appear in the mortal world in whatever form they choose (whether they have a true form is a matter of great philosophical debate in several cultures). Once they take form in the mortal realm though they can be killed, so most prefer not to and instead work through mortals loyal to them. This means they will occasionally care about an individual if they are doing something really important, but mostly as long as they have plenty of adherents they don't care if a few (hundred) get wiped out. It makes the mortals kind of responsible for the gods they empower through their fealty and means the gods have both a disdain for but also need of mortals.

In antiquity the gods fought the demons and imprisoned them in the personal realm of one of the elder gods who sacrificed themself to seal the demons in. That was the original dragon queen who laid a single egg before the self sacrifice. In so doing she is still alive and her will reinforces the seals that bind the demons. As none of the gods trust each other enough to let the egg stay in one of their realms it was hidden in the mortal realm. It is protected by a warding spell that causes anyone actively seeking it to become more confused and forget what they were trying to do, the closer they get. Millenia later a bunch of sneaky, smart empire mages figure out there is this foggy area and send explorers there without saying what they are there for. Eventually they retrieve the egg and seek to harness its innate magic for their own purposes.

The demons are soul-less beings driven by the desire to rule over others. At the time of their war with the gods humanity was a slave race of theirs and were freed at the end of the war. For a long time the gods were deeply suspicious of humans because of that closeness to demons for so long and many gods are still doubtful about humans. There are a number of other mortal races created by various gods that live alongside humans. In some places there is intermingling, even interbreeding, but mostly the races prefer communities of their own kind.

 

[Michael Ehrler]

That was something I wondered with the level of detail you had - whether as you write a story you need to amend bits to fit the story better. I find that to be the case with my world the more I write in it.

My gods are a little more greco-roman looking, then yours. I think of them and their power as essentially being like spacetime and gravity. One conceptualisation of that is to see spacetime as a rubber sheet and gravity as heavy balls placed onto it. Gravity distorts spacetime, with bigger gravitational forces distorting more. Magic is like that rubber sheet image of spacetime, but willpower takes the place of gravity. The elder gods are singularities of willpower so dense they can do almost anything, but are incredibly destructive to the mortal realms simply by being in them kind of like sentient black holes. The lesser and minor gods all need worshippers to boost their willpower to enable them to perform godly acts. They can appear in the mortal world in whatever form they choose (whether they have a true form is a matter of great philosophical debate in several cultures). Once they take form in the mortal realm though they can be killed, so most prefer not to and instead work through mortals loyal to them. This means they will occasionally care about an individual if they are doing something really important, but mostly as long as they have plenty of adherents they don't care if a few (hundred) get wiped out. It makes the mortals kind of responsible for the gods they empower through their fealty and means the gods have both a disdain for but also need of mortals.

In antiquity the gods fought the demons and imprisoned them in the personal realm of one of the elder gods who sacrificed themself to seal the demons in. That was the original dragon queen who laid a single egg before the self sacrifice. In so doing she is still alive and her will reinforces the seals that bind the demons. As none of the gods trust each other enough to let the egg stay in one of their realms it was hidden in the mortal realm. It is protected by a warding spell that causes anyone actively seeking it to become more confused and forget what they were trying to do, the closer they get. Millennia later a bunch of sneaky, smart empire mages figure out there is this foggy area and send explorers there without saying what they are there for. Eventually they retrieve the egg and seek to harness its innate magic for their own purposes.

The demons are soul-less beings driven by the desire to rule over others. At the time of their war with the gods humanity was a slave race of theirs and were freed at the end of the war. For a long time the gods were deeply suspicious of humans because of that closeness to demons for so long and many gods are still doubtful about humans. There are a number of other mortal races created by various gods that live alongside humans. In some places there is intermingling, even interbreeding, but mostly the races prefer communities of their own kind.

That's rad. I *love* gravity magic and related shenanigans. It's a highly underused type of magic.

I'm going for a low/soft-magic and historical/epic fantasy feel, so magic and divine beings are the sort of things whose existence is sort of hazy to most people, while being obvious to others depending on cultural and personal perspective.

 

[ThinkerX]

Yeah, I'm going more low/soft-magic and historical fantasy, so elves and so forth weren't going to be a good fit, so I did some looking into the different human relatives that have evolved and died out over the last few million years for inspiration.

oh, I have 'elves' and 'dwarves' - courtesy of the ancient aliens. The dwarves were humans genetically altered for underground work. They have longer than normal lifespans and excellent dark vision but are closer to hobbits than dwarves.

The elves came about from the ancient aliens meddling in the etheric realms - they summoned a race of spirits that became 'trapped' in human bodies, which they subsequently altered - longer lifespans and elongated ears. Their alien etheric natures grant them magical abilities.

Rachasa - a damn dangerous race was made by the ancient aliens as a human/feline hybrid for specialized security.

Goblins are a primitive alien race of short, green-skinned humanoids. They can pass as human but are very different biologically (hatched, not born, with males outnumbering females 100 to 1.) Hobgoblins are bigger, tougher, and more aggressive goblins modified by the aliens to provide security.

Magic is mostly enhanced psi ability genetically grafted by the ancient aliens into selected human and goblin bloodlines. The rest mostly centers around pacts with Lovecraftian abominations.

 

[Michael Ehrler]

oh, I have 'elves' and 'dwarves' - courtesy of the ancient aliens. The dwarves were humans genetically altered for underground work. They have longer than normal lifespans and excellent dark vision but are closer to hobbits than dwarves.

The elves came about from the ancient aliens meddling in the etheric realms - they summoned a race of spirits that became 'trapped' in human bodies, which they subsequently altered - longer lifespans and elongated ears. Their alien etheric natures grant them magical abilities.

Rachasa - a damn dangerous race was made by the ancient aliens as a human/feline hybrid for specialized security.

Goblins are a primitive alien race of short, green-skinned humanoids. They can pass as human but are very different biologically (hatched, not born, with males outnumbering females 100 to 1.) Hobgoblins are bigger, tougher, and more aggressive goblins modified by the aliens to provide security.

Magic is mostly enhanced psi ability genetically grafted by the ancient aliens into selected human and goblin bloodlines. The rest mostly centers around pacts with Lovecraftian abominations.

I have:
Sofrians - Common humans. By far the most numerous.

Iander - Neanderthal-like people who live in settlements carved into cliffsides similar to the Pueblo tribe of Indigenous Americans. There's more going on ,but that's the short version.

Damphir - Vampire-flavored humans who have a series of genetic mutations (they don't understand it like that of course) that have resulted in their nocturnal lifestyle and a type of anemia (again, not understood as such in-world). They're really too complicated to do justice to in a summary, like the Iander.

Tanyari - Direct descendants of the first human, multi-ethnic empire which built flying cities in the primeval past and rode dragons to enforce their will upon the terrestrial human realms.

I also have a race of very, very short humans called Efkinitoi, but they might get cut from the setting.

 

[JBCrowson]

I have Fey who are short lived (max 35-40 years) heteromorphic folk. Men are large, strong, with thick skin textured and coloured like bark, females are small, slender, not unlike dryads. They live in forested areas of the tropics and have affinity to wood magic.
Odytes (short for troglodytes) are a dark skinned subterranean race whose eyes and skin are very light sensitive, so they only come above ground at night unless they have special protective gear (which they do not like to wear). They have affinity for rock and metal magics.
Kat, are shape shifters who can vreer between big cat and regular human shape. To avoid the whole Incredible Hulk thing about clothing, anything they are wearing or carrying when they change is retained but not seen / usable until they change back. They have good night vision, great agility and stealth, even in human form. They are natural hunters, but also make good thieves.
Apoideans are human sized beefolk. They retain compound eyes and can fly. They have six limbs and warriors among them wield weapons or shields in four of them on the ground or all six in the air. They are matriarchal and willingly die to protect their city and queen. They brew potions from their honey, and can cast spells by a magical dance based on the waggledance of bees. They were the second race created by the god Artist.
First race of Artist was the oldest of all the mortal races which he based on beetles. They are tough, aggressive folk suited to battles through their natural carapace that resists most slashing and penetrative weapons. They multiplied rapidly and threatened to wipe out the other mortal races when they came across them leading Artist to disown them. Artist intended to destroy them but instead allowed them to be banished to the former demon realm after the demon war, since it stood empty at that point. In banishment they divided into two sub races, one of which retained the power of flight and carnivorous habit, the other was flightless but had simple shamanistic magic abilities along with a less aggressive temperament.

 

[pmmg]

This is too much for me. I think its a good player aid, or perhaps a great start for a story bible, but....without a story I am following, I dont see the need for something with such detail. If the goal is to convert all of this into a story background, I just question how you could fit all this in. I'll just leave to those with far more interest in world building than I have.

 

[Diana Silver]

Same feeling here. It all seems like sound world-building to me, no problems there. But rather than compare notes with other writers, I feel you might need to compare notes with your own characters. What do they need, where to they stand in this world of yours? That is the real test for whether or not your world-bluiding makes sense or needs more work.

 

[Michael Ehrler]

This is too much for me. I think its a good player aid, or perhaps a great start for a story bible, but....without a story I am following, I dont see the need for something with such detail. If the goal is to convert all of this into a story background, I just question how you could fit all this in. I'll just leave to those with far more interest in world building than I have.

A story bible is a good way to think of it.

There isn't a strict need for it, but its was an important part of my process even if I can't or don't use it all. I have extremely bad ADHD, so organizing and elaborating on my ideas helps me come to grips with potential stories and themes rather than a specific character or scene. Plus, it was just a fun project to work on for a while that I wanted to show off and just chit chat about.

 

[Michael Ehrler]

Same feeling here. It all seems like sound world-building to me, no problems there. But rather than compare notes with other writers, I feel you might need to compare notes with your own characters. What do they need, where to they stand in this world of yours? That is the real test for whether or not your world-bluiding makes sense or needs more work.

Well, like I said in my reply above, I know that I won't use even half of it in a book(s) and I have really, really bad ADHD, so it helped and was necessary for me to organize things on paper and develop ideas. I didn't set out to make the world so that I could write a book, I made the world for fun and as a creative exercise that I can now pull bits from for different kinds of stories. Truth be told, I tried writing *before* I had a world and I couldn't make anything connect or feel cohesive, so having a the meat of a world developed allowed to figure out some of the broad points of political/religious/cultural tension. Its just a part of my process I guess.

Now that I have that world building skeleton to work with, I've been able to start a proper story, place some major characters, and start hashing out those wants/needs/positions you mentioned and letting the content of that document bend, flex, and change if it seems like it's necessary for the story.