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Mafia fiction first act.

Discussion in 'Writing Groups' started by Ban, Mar 16, 2018.

  1. Ban

    Ban Sir Laserface Article Team

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    Hello everyone. Some of you will know that I've been invested in my mafia fiction, Mobster Yuppie, for the past few months. The story takes place in a fictional New Jersey city in the 80s called Groonhaven . The story is told in two distinct, but overlapping parts.

    Cesare Babiera, a Groonhaven mobster is on a journey through the american midwest to meet his old pal Joseph Cirelli, a legendary mobster who is serving time in a maximum security prison. Along the way Babiera tells his driver, Hefty Henry, a wannabe looking to earn his bones, the history behind himself and Cirelli. Slowly he grows to like Henry, but to his dismay Henry starts to show signs of being shaped from the same wood as Cirelli.

    I'm looking for someone willing to read through act 1. The critique does not have to be thorough, and I'm not expecting anyone to do my editing for me. I only ask for someone to read through it and tell me honestly what you liked and disliked about it.
     
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