My World's Superpost

[sgbii]

So I've been getting some local feedback from a few friends of mine and I wanted to get some unbiased opinions to help sort and organize my world.

Some Background:
So currently, the "known" world in the book I'm working on, isn't that large. The Lityrnan Islands are what the peoples living there know. The west coast, which isn't really socially involved much with the eastern side of things, knows of a land across the ocean (Basically Asia) but not much else. The southern island, called Myrsan, regularly trades with a continent south of them, but it's a long haul. The rest of the continent is made up of various tribes. Think Germanic tribes without ever having Roman influence. I've been basing a lot off the Norse since that seems to be the one we know most about, but I've also been working in some Native American cultures as well. Think a slightly more spiritual and naturist Viking society, split apart simply by ancestors of old that created a powerful following and spread their influence.

I'll probably break this down by categories so bare with me

 

[sgbii]

The basic Lityrnan Paganism creation story and prophecy of the end times.

The endless dark was all that existed in the sky. Spontaneously, the great being Oviss came into existence to challenge the dark. Darkness however was too great a foe, and Oviss was torn apart by the tendrils of the dark. His arms grew into Solr and Mjani, the sun and moon. His body fell to the ground and became the world. His head tore a rift in the darkness and created paradise, and his legs were captured by the darkness, never to be seen again.

Solr and Mjani's powers were great, but they couldn't destroy the darkness. They simply kept it at bay from destroying the body of their father, the world.

There was however, an attraction between brother and sister. A longing desire to he together despite the lingering dark. Temptation grew too strong and they lay together creating the first Eclipse. The progeny of the Eclipse was a daughter, Grynmar. The sun and moon tasked Grynmar to make the world beautiful, and to protect it at all costs.

Grynmar fell to the world and began carving the mountains and valleys. She planted the seeds of all plants. She filled the oceans with her mourning tears. Then, she created the Forndyr, the Ancient Beasts. Each one contained a great knowledge and power. Together they created all the animals in the world.

After the world was made, Grynmar decided to populate it. She took a stone from the Mountain at the End of the World, and carved man. She plucked a rose from her grotto and created women. She placed them together and their skin turned to flesh. She continued to do this until enough men and women could populate the world. Satisfied her work was done, she went back to her grotto to leave mankind to develope.

Unfortunately, without the guidance of Grynmar, the humans began worshipping the Forndyr as gods. This worshipping created hubris among the Forndyr, which then made conflict among humans. They split into small tribes, each worshipping a different Forndyr.

The Darkness was not wasting his time during all this. The captured legs had been broken apart and reshaped to form a disfigured, cruel being only known as the Son of Darkness. Together they created underworld, a place to trap the spirits of the living after they die, in hopes of increasing their power to end life itself.

This prophecy of the end times says, the end of all life will happen in 6 signs.

1. Chaos will spread across the lands. Alliances will be broken and war will be ceasless.
2. The rivers and oceans will run red with blood of the fallen.
3.A great plague will sweep the land, killing many
4. A minion of the dark will rise to a powerful seat.
5. Tormented spirits will return as creatures of the night.
6. The sun will die and the moon will succumb to darkness and become his bride. Life will cease to exist as all is consumed.


Thoughts, suggestions, alterations?

 

[sgbii]

Language and Society

So I've been playing around on vulgarlang.com a bit trying to come up with something that I like as a unique language to use but I haven't got around to learning much more than the basics. In the meantime, I've been just using Old Norse words for things.

I have the society broken down similarly to the Viking society. Thralls - slaves, Karls - freeman, and Jarls - nobles. Now I really only use thrall and Jarl as actual titles for people. Jarls are in charge of large cities or more modern groupings of people, whereas those who choose to remain in the wild in small huts and villages are only Chieftains. Still hold power but not really outside of their community. It's been pointed out that by using the term Jarl, it ties it too much to the actual vikings when the Lityrnans are not actually vikings. I'm open to suggestions and ideas on this as well. I thought about using unique spellings like instead of Jarl for Earl, using Yurl or something to basically mean the same thing but different.

I'm pretty solid on the social classes being what they are. There is also a king but he's not really in charge of every inch of land, just Moreno the Jarl of Jarls, put in place by the other nobles.

 

[sgbii]

Ancient History

So I have several main tribes that originated from ancient heroes of old.

Althans from Althia. Named for Althar the Blind
Ritgardians from Ritgard. Named for Rigurs Puma-slayer
Stenns from Stenia. Named for Sten Bronzefist
Kryllans from Kryllia. Named for Kryllo Wolfborn
Vyronans from Vyronia. Named for Vyrona Sun-Blessed
The Fjallfolk from the Black Mountains (exception)
Myrsani from Myrsan. Named for Myrsur the Wise
Vynmori from Vynmore Isle. Named for Vyni Ice-eyes
Rholians from Rholia. Named for Rholan the Conquerer


I've been working on writing individual tales about each one and their feats throughout their lives.

 

[sgbii]

The Forndýr

The Lityrnan Paganism is the main religion of the islands. It's broken down from the Sun and Moon birthing Grynmar aka Mother Nature. And Grynmar created great beasts to help her create everything.

I have names for them in old norse but I'm not sure if I want to use them.

The Walking Fortress (Kraflaborg) a giant Tortoise hundreds or thousands of years old.

The Bear Tribunal (Bjorndóm) a black bear, grizzly bear, and Polar bear of unimaginable strength

The Twin Serpents (Tviormar) Two massive Serpents that live in the mountains

The Thunderbird (Thrumörn) a giant lightning eagle that controls weather

The Night Wolf (Notulfr) a shadowy smokey black direwolf with red eyes.

The Fate Weaver (Norn) a giant spider that weaves Fate ( never guessed that!) Mysterious

The White Gator (Hvitsnap) a ghostly white alligator that lives deep in the southern swamps.

And the Ethereal Panther. A spectral panther that prowl the forests of the east.

Each tribe is also connected to a different beast.

 

[pmmg]

Seems thought out and interesting to me. I cant imagine finding another word for Jarl will be to vexing. How about Varl, or Dharl?

My initial set of questions is about the rest of the world. Cause this is a culture, and different culture will have different stories.

 

[sgbii]

Seems thought out and interesting to me. I cant imagine finding another word for Jarl will be to vexing. How about Varl, or Dharl?

My initial set of questions is about the rest of the world. Cause this is a culture, and different culture will have different stories.

I haven't really explored much of the rest of the world's cultures too much. Lityrn is mostly undisturbed by other civilizations so. The only thing I know I'll be keeping is the Forndýr, called other things by other people's of course. I like the concept of living gods in the form of animals or some kind of great beasts for the world. Lityrn culture worships them. Maybe another culture hunted them to prove their strength. Maybe another culture believes they're demons sent to destroy mankind and resent them but are too afraid to act. Maybe one unlucky continent didn't even get one.

 

[ThinkerX]

So I've been getting some local feedback from a few friends of mine and I wanted to get some unbiased opinions to help sort and organize my world.

Some Background:
So currently, the "known" world in the book I'm working on, isn't that large. The Lityrnan Islands are what the peoples living there know. The west coast, which isn't really socially involved much with the eastern side of things, knows of a land across the ocean (Basically Asia) but not much else. The southern island, called Myrsan, regularly trades with a continent south of them, but it's a long haul. The rest of the continent is made up of various tribes. Think Germanic tribes without ever having Roman influence. I've been basing a lot off the Norse since that seems to be the one we know most about, but I've also been working in some Native American cultures as well. Think a slightly more spiritual and naturist Viking society, split apart simply by ancestors of old that created a powerful following and spread their influence.

I'll probably break this down by categories so bare with me

Okay...point of clarity here:

By 'western coast' do you mean the western coast of a large island? Or an island to the west of the others? I am a bit puzzled as you seem to use 'island' and 'continent' interchangeably.

 

[sgbii]

Okay...point of clarity here:

By 'western coast' do you mean the western coast of a large island? Or an island to the west of the others? I am a bit puzzled as you seem to use 'island' and 'continent' interchangeably.

Yeah sorry. The main continent is the middle island. I guess a more accurate way to describe it would be west of the mountains running up the center knows of another land across the ocean, but due to lack of tribal communication on opposite sides of the mountains, it isn't really known in the eastern side. My bad habit of interchangeable words stems from the evolution of map. Originally the islands surrounding the continent were much smaller. It's probably safe to say that my map of the Lityrnan Isles is more so two continents and a few smaller islands here and there.

 

[sgbii]

Yeah sorry. The main continent is the middle island. I guess a more accurate way to describe it would be west of the mountains running up the center knows of another land across the ocean, but due to lack of tribal communication on opposite sides of the mountains, it isn't really known in the eastern side. My bad habit of interchangeable words stems from the evolution of map. Originally the islands surrounding the continent were much smaller. It's probably safe to say that my map of the Lityrnan Isles is more so two continents and a few smaller islands here and there.

And I just realized I said Litrynan Islands before and Isles just now. It's a work in progress!