Suggestions and feedback on one of my cultures

[ascanius]

Khatedin(The people of the red sand)

Religion and beliefs: The People of the Red Sands follow the old ways, reverence to the living world, and T'anoria. They also show deep reverence to the ancestors, and being included in the ancestral of the clan/tribe is the highest honor one can achieve upon their death. The clan tombs are where the greatest members of the clan regardless of tribe are buried, everyone else is buried in the tribe tombs.

They hold great value in honor, This Idea they call the Kra da. This embodies the idea of duty to what must be done, because it is right, just, and must be done. By following the Krathid they gain honor, but honor is only gained through respect. This is in three parts respect from ones betters Ethedik, respect from ones spouse/family Ceheth, and respect from ones leaser’s Trao. Those with great Kra da command the attention of others. To be in following with the Kra da to follow the old way. In all cases of respect it is earned never given.

Holidays:
The spring floods. This can last two days or three weeks depending on how long it rains. During the rains it is a time for contemplation, and silence, remembering the year past. Up to six days after the last of the rains have fallen it is a time of celebration, and joyous frivolity.

The winter equinox,

There are specific holidays for various tribes,

Dance of the sisters: This is done only once every twelve passings, or once every cycle when the two moons are in alignment, the month of Burin on the 25th day. This commemorates the two moons and their tragic story, how their deep relationship was strained when the youngest was wed to the night and the eldest was wed to the light. How they could only see each other every twelve years. The dance consists of two young girls who stand naked with their arms around each others necks in embrace. The the dance is in steps of twelve, with six quick steps then six slow steps with the last quarter note a pause. They slowly dance away in a dance very much like ballet where dexterity and flexibility and grace are important. Then the slow steps, signifying their loss of each other as they are apart. Then they draw together again though never touch.

Days of flowing water: These are the days during the spring floods and rains that grind everyday life to a halt. For however long the rains pour and the floods last everyone busies themselves with in preparation of the festivities to come, finishing projects and what not. For one week after the floods last the tribes gather into their clans and celebrate, various needed activities are still done such as tending to the flocks, but all spare time is spent playing games, feasting the last of the winter stores and having general fun.

important historical figures:

brief history: The Khatedin were originally from kingdoms of man before the breaking. Gitrin the painter of sands, lead his people through the Aradariu peninsula and past the Teriel mountains into the red sands fighting through demon infested lands to bring his people to safety. There they made their life among the rocks of the Thunderledgs, and the red sands becoming nomads. Through the years their way of live gradually changed. He died and was entombed in the ancestral tombs. He died of a mortal wound crossing the sands, at a small mountain range along the Thundercliffs. The Cerliun came down and sealed the tomb deep within the mountains sealing it and allowing only his descendants to pass and seek wisdom. His people grew and grew finally splitting off to inhabit the entire length of the thunderledge making a living wandering the small valleys and cultivating olive oil and a few other plants. Among the cliffs and sands they found a city, that they named Macaada. A forgotten relic of a time long past, before the dragon wars. It was the seat of the Cerliun where they watched over their creations. It became a place all could come seeking safety. His people split apart fragmenting into the clans and tribes.

ceremonies:
Greeting:
There are four types of greeting.
One. Between to people who are very close. Good friends and family. The hands are clasped closed to the breast/heart and extended forward palms up before them while saying, “Ahed adenar kalath.” or “close to my heart” or “one I cherish.”
Two. Between to people who do not know each other but have meet before, acquaintances. The tips of the fingers a are held to the eyebrows and extended forward palms up saying. “Gahteehe.” “I remeber”
Three. To strangers. The hands are held forward palms up saying. Ahethe ka'a nar. “my hands are open.”
Four. Between master and slave. The fingers are held up over the face and extended forward palms up, nothing is said.
Naming ceremony: Only 1 of 7 children reach the age of four in the red sands so children are not named until. This can in some cases depend on the clan or even tribe. Most often it is not done until a child has reached two floods before they are named. Then a ceremony is held announcing the child to the rest of the clan/tribe, world. They are then a member of the clan. They will start to gain Tra or the respect of their lessors, younger children and slaves.
*******'s clan. Naming is only done once they can ride a horse. But they have grown up around horses all their lives. This usually happens around three or four. So some of the clans have different ages.

Ceremony of First blood: This marks when a child after training has drawn blood in a fight with his betters. Then they are considered adults able to protect their family, and marry. They are still under the rule of their parents, and relatives, but this is when they can gain honor.
For girls however it can also be their first menstruation, marking them as an adult.
For both boys and girls the second after first blood is drawn or flowing, they are stripped of any clothing or jewelery and for seven days they remain in the red sands alone with only a single water skin. During that time no one can speak with them, they are ghosts. It is a time to contemplate what they are becoming, and what they have left behind. On the seventh night they are brought before the tribal elders by friends and peers. They tell them what they have learned what it means to be Khatedin. It is then they are given the Troah, breehclout, and a spear, The Troah signifies there virtue, that they are of marriageable age, and will touch no other but who they will marry. The spear signifies they are no longer children and that they are able to protect their family.
For both this also means that they can marry, which in it's own way is a form of protecting their family. At this point they will gain Ceheth by their actions. They will start to gain the respect of their tribe.

 

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Courtship. Courtship is always initiated by a young man. First they seek the fathers approval, to do otherwise is very dishonorable and a sign of weakness on the young mans part. Only then can he court a young woman. First he must bring her a gift, something of great value to him. Then after making his intentions clear can they begin to court. This involves simple things such as small gifts, and supervised visits. Throughout this entire process they are watched to see if it a good match.
Marriage: Only when two are and have a child are they actually considered adults, or full fledged members of society. Marriage can be from 12 to 30 years of age. Though most often young girls are 14 to 24 while the men are 23 to 30 years of age. Most often marriages are arraigned by their elders, parents and other family. They will gain Et. They will start to gain the respect of their betters.
Before two can get married they must meet with the tribal elders to which they belong, or the elders of two different tribes in some cases. In rarer circumstances for those who have great honor, or children of those with great honor, the they will have to meet with the clan elders. If the elders agree with the marriage and feel it is a good match then they will be married. If however the elders cannot agree, or if anyone even one of the two being wed calls for a Trail of Sands they must complete a task together. The two would be lovers must travel to clans burial tombs. They do this blind and naked. They must go there and return, within the changing of the moon, a month. Before they leave they are asked a question and must return with the answer. They are guarded along the way to ensure they are not attacked but their guard never interact with them or help them in any way. It puts the two would be lovers under stress forcing them to learn about the other and work as a team to help each other through it, it tests to see if they are right for one another.
*It is dangerous and sometimes results in fatalities but the trial of sands is not asked for often.
The actual ceremony involves friends family, everyone depending on the location. The two come together before the elders. The father of the bride carefully removes the clothing from her body, This is done also to the husband by his mother. Next they listen to the elders speak, of the couple, of T'anoria, and what everything means/the symbolism. Then they cloth one another in the Aka troah, and Troah that they made for one another, they have to make the clothes from scratch. This symbolizes that they are responsible for one another, that even when they have nothing they will each work to ensure the other has what they need. Next he clothes her in the finery of his tribe, symbolizing her acceptance into her new tribe. She on the other hand clothes him in the weapons and dress of war, that her father has given her, along with the weapons all her belongs are transferred to him. The weapons she clads him in are hers and the only thing she keeps after the marriage, given to her by her father. This symbolizes her new role as his wife, It is her responsibility to see to his weapons to see that he is safe and well, that no harm will come to him in battle. * This is important the elders explain that she gives these gifts to keep him safe so he can keep her safe when she is vulnerable (pregnant). Next is the exchange of gifts they give to one another, personal gifts. Usually depending on the clan or tribe these are items that signify an importance to that clan or tribe. Next the elders tell each of them their duties, what is expected of them as husband and wife, and what their people expect of them too. After that the ceremony is finished.
After the ceremony is over it is customary to throw a wild and crazy party for two days and nights. It is a really big affair.
*Both men and women partake in battle, they are each trained in the ways of war. But women are valued more because they can bring a new generation into the world. A such as head of the family it is his responsibility to ensure that everyone has what they need including weapons and gear for war. So it is his duty to make sure she has what she needs to fight. She becomes part of her new tribe leaving her old one behind, she still visits and interacts with them but for all intents and purposes she is not one of them.

 

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Customs:
Nudity is not looked down Upon and nothing to be ashamed of. They bath in public and it is not uncommon to see someone strolling naked through the markets.
During the winter months when the nights grow cold an entire family may sleep together.
It is customary to give any guest water when you welcome them to your home, it is also customary to give them the best you have to offer. However, if the guest does not show equal respect then this is not warranted.
Tables are round and low.
It is a great dishonor to hurt someone else through carelessness or anger. It is the greatest taboo to beat/intimidate, manipulate, or hurt someone weaker. It is also a great dishonor to hurt another while practicing with any weapon because is show that person is not in control an careless.
Women and men stand unequal but with equal voice. Equal respect among husband and wife is very important. If they are in harmony this is good, it brings them both honor.
The men of a family are the keepers of the weapons and battle dress for war. The women are the keepers of family past and present.
Hierarchy:
Kittheleiur. This is the tittle given to someone who leads a clan, or more than one clan. They are a war lord essentially. It is a very high honor to be considered Kittheleiur, as it implies a very good leader, someone who people will follow because they choose to, or have been conquered. On occasion one man can unite the majority of the clans to one purpose but this is very rare, and even more difficult. The clans do not like to be ruled and are very difficult to control.
After a tribe or clan has been conquered their children, unnamed are made Reahela. Reahela means “those lost.” They have no clan. They are essentially slaves, but slaves with honor. They serve the clan or tribe that captured them. They are raised by the clan that captured them. Unlike slaves they can carry weapons and they do have honor, but they are still slaves*.
*Slaves are those found guilty of a crime, and are forced to hard manual labor.

Family: The family is the smallest unit of the people of the red sands. Only after a child is named are they a part of the family and the people of the red sands. The family is compromised of the parents, children, and grandparents.

Tribe. The tribe is composed of different families with blood ties, at times distant.

Clan. Numerous tribes make up a clan, The clans are.
Khjin.
Symbol. The sun, an eagle, arrows and bow
Tarshk, (tehem)
Symbol. A billy goat, Rams horns, horns, Sekrals, (A type of tree)
Telehrin.
Symbol. A Spear, flowing water, a Karith flower, a shield and spear
Berhitk.
Symbol. A sand dune, The seven towers of Lokandith
Leethik.
Symbol. A desert swift, an olive tree.
Mohoshk.
Symbol. A draken, four eggs, A nest, a ravine
Pehethuk.
Symbol. Four stars in an upside down L (almost a v) with two collected near the leg of the L, A sword.
Alahketh.
Symbol. The sisters, Or two overlapping circles one red one blue.
Hjudin.
Symbol. A jackal, an owl
Beho.
Symbol. The sand scorpion, scythe.
Nart. (Nar-writ) The Nart clan are considered the horse lords of the People of the Red Sands, renowned for their horses. The symbol for which they are most well known is the rearing horse.
Dahlit.
Symbol. A vine, an eye, a fist.
Ghorit.
Symbol. An amphorae.

The elders These are the elders who guide the their people. In a way their word is law
The tribal elders guide the tribe and are sorta a small council whose wisdom is sought. They settle disputes, and determine what the tribe will do, accept marriage matches or reject them, dole out punishment. The tribe goes to them for any of their problems.
Clan Elders. The clan elders are the wisest and best among the tribal elders, they are the voices of each tribe in that clan. Always one clan elder from each tribe. They determine the path of the clan and all the tribes. They settle disputes between the tribes.

 

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building styles and architecture:
They have little architecture wise, except for the only two cities Macaada and Takerik. Macaada is ancient in architecture with stone pillars and essentially classical architecture. Takerik is a city carved from the ravines in the north. The only structures they really make are tents and other things involved in the everyday life of the nomad. The tents are wool and sheep leather. Designs of the sun, stars and moons are common along with depictions of great people, or important people to their tribe often decorate their tents and saddlery.

art:
Their artwork is heavy in Red, lapis lazuli blues, and vibrant greens made from the shells of these large beetles. Often their artwork is depictions of important events. They tend to favor curving lines in intricate designs like flowing vines. The lines tend to be variations of thick and thin parallel lines. Each clan has various symbols that represent that clan. While each tribe has their own symbols.

Battle dress. The breast plate is decorated with the symbols of that persons clan, tribe and any personal symbols they wish to have present. For instance, is someone is exceptionally good with a bow and arrow they might have a picture of a bow and arrow someplace on their breast plate.

Dress:

The Aka Troah: This is worn by women who have gone through first blood. It is wrapped around the but and twined in front, the Aka. The Troah is the loin cloth that is draped across the twined together ends of the Aka to drape in front of the thighs. Men wear the Troah or breech clout. *Going around topless is something favored by women with small breasts as they sag less when they are older. Women with larger breasts sometimes wear a Strophium for comfort. Or leather band that presses the breasts down, primitive bra.

The elders. The elders wear a length of cloth over the left shoulder belted at the waist, over the Aka Torah if female, or Troah if male.

Battle Dress. Battle dress consists of a Lamellare leather breastplate with various symbols. Various talismans, such as tufts of horse hair, pieces of metal, precious stones and other items are used to decorate the breastplate. Along with the breast plate lamellare leather arm, and shin guards are worn. Also over the aka troah, or troah for men a braided leather skirt is also worn (the leather skirt the roman legionary wore)
*Metal armor is common and is incorporated with the leather. The metal is also substituted with the exoskeleton of cave scorpions which are the size of large dogs. The chitin is cut into fine strips and woven into the armor. The scorpions are difficult to kill and the wearing of scorpion armor shows the warriors prowess in battle.

food and drink: Most of their food consists of goat, some bugs and the various fruits they can find in the red sands. Olive oil is very common.

stories of importance, heroes whatnot:

Way of life, everyday life of commoner and those in power: Usually this consists of tending to the flocks. Gathering food. In leisure time stories are told and various projects finished, the making of breastplates, weaponry.
Professions There are various professions but these are the main ones of most importance. Metal smithing, Merchant, Leather working, Weapon making, textiles, mason (dependent on the two cities)

Sorry that was so long. What do you think? any questions or concerns

 

[Caged Maiden]

Wow. that's way more work than I put into world-building. I think it's clear you have given your people a whole lot of thought.

 

[Eeirail]

In all honesty, this is a very detailed piece you have here, I see a few things wrong with it, but they can only be fixed through the actual storyline. I just do not completely understand why you put all this into it. I must ask one thing, are you really going to use all of this in your story; if not, I would revise it and make it a lot shorter.

 

[ascanius]

@ Eeirial. In all likely hood I will not put all of into the story but it really helps me get a picture of these people as if they were real. It helps me think the way they would as far as I am able to. What do you see wrong with it?