The best break-up ever.

[Rikilamaro]

I have main characters that are in a relationship. They need to stop being in a relationship for many reasons. The girl is breaking up with the boy. She wants to stay friends, but he is not going to be able to accept that. The scene I am stuck on is how to actually break them up. A fight? A civil discussion?

So tell me your worst and best break-up stories ever. I need inspiration!

(Please, and thank you!)

 

[Burst]

A girl once broke up with me because I told her that I liked Star Trek (She liked it also, but I was lying) and so she broke up with me because of that and decided to go out with someone who did like Star Trek. I cried the entire day. >_> don't lie to girls. It was a shame too, 'cuz she was hot. xD

 

[Rikilamaro]

LOL As a bonafide Trekkie I would have broken up with you too.

Lying to girls is always a bad idea. We always find out.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

What's the girl's personality like? This will go a long way in thinking of ways that she'll break up with a boyfriend.

I've always preferred plain honesty.
"I'm just not into you anymore."
"You're boring."
"I'm attracted to someone else."

That policy has burned a lot of bridges though & explains why I don't have any ex-GFs as friends. That's fine with me though. If I broke up with them (or was dumped) there's a reason...

Most times I find that the break ups aren't the most interesting parts. The reprisals, however, can be very entertaining.

I've seen girls holding onto the roof of a car, women break into apartments and destroy the entirety of someone's wardrobe, men picking fights with everyone his ex talks to, etc.

For my money that's where you'll find the meat. After the sadness & depression withers and your character rushes headlong into revenge or "I'll show her!" mode.

 

[Rikilamaro]

Good point.

She really is a sweet girl that's just lost interest. She met someone new she likes, but hasn't acted on it because she's wants to not muddy the waters. But she's also not that straight forward. Her biggest fear is hurting the guy because she still cares for him. He's a bit of a loose cannon to so there's an element of fear behind her reticence.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

So there's some apprehension on her part. That's good. She's conflicted.

Now, will she be open to lying to him or staging some event to possibly soften the blow? Will she throw out constant hits & clues that he never picks up?

When someone really cares about the person they are breaking up with I wouldn't think that they'd try to be too creative with the breakup. That's just cruel. If however, she has real reason to fear his rash action then maybe.

Just off the top of my head... Could you have her try to break it off repeatedly but unsuccessfully, eventually moving toward the other man anyway? Lots of conflict there.

 

[Caged Maiden]

Hm.. my best break-up was with the guy I dated from age 15-17. We just didn't want to get married, so we stayed friends, though moved on with our own lives. No one cried or begged, it was just a nice friendly break-up.

Then there was the bad one...

I haven't actually broken up with many people. Most guys figured it out when they saw me on another guy's arm, but that was way back in the day when I was a rude kid. I got married at 22 and luckily, since then, there have been no more break-ups. I think if we ever split, though, it would be rational and friendly, not vengeful and mean.

 

[Rikilamaro]

Now, will she be open to lying to him or staging some event to possibly soften the blow? Will she throw out constant hits & clues that he never picks up?

When someone really cares about the person they are breaking up with I wouldn't think that they'd try to be too creative with the breakup. That's just cruel. If however, she has real reason to fear his rash action then maybe.

Just off the top of my head... Could you have her try to break it off repeatedly but unsuccessfully, eventually moving toward the other man anyway? Lots of conflict there.

Her basic nature won't let her be rude or cheat on him with guy #2.
She's already tried dropping hints. He's not hearing it.
I need a scene that breaks them up with a small amount of drama, but enough that they have a reason to not speak for a couple weeks. I'm just having a hard time writing her as mean.

At this point I may twist Ani's comment and throw a completely unexpected punch in there. But I don't like guys that hit girls, or vice versa. It's not something I would want to advocate in my YA audience.

 

[Caged Maiden]

In my own defense, if he hadn't shouted it at me, it wouldn't have happened

 

[Rikilamaro]

Oh, Ani. We all do dumb things in our youth. Wasn't trying to be rude. Sorry.

 

[Caged Maiden]

well one idea:

All those cute little charming things someone does when you meet can become very annoying later on. Could he perhaps call her on a few of those things? That's entirely appropriate for YA.

An annoying laugh, an obsession with something, jealousy, friendly banter which turns mean, clinginess, etc.


I am editing my last post because like I said, it's extremely embarrassing. Hope I could help a little, but my laundry is a little dirty...

 

[Rikilamaro]

I appreciate the assistance!

That's a good idea, but she would have to be the one to call him on it, and I don't think she has that in her. She's just being too wishy washy. Or perhaps I am. Either way it's not coming out the way I want it to. I hate being stuck on stupid stuff like that.

 

[Caged Maiden]

hmm... wishy-washy isn't probably the best place to be. It might not connect strongly with a reader, so maybe find a way to up the tension a little. She can still be very nice, but maybe he finds her laugh annoying, and says it. She is appalled, wondering why he's being mean, and he backpeddals, but she's already upset.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

I like where Ani is headed.

It might not be in her character but it certainly sound like he could be cruel in retaliation.

If the girl is the POV character then it is simple to show that her bluntly breaking it off (after many subtle attempts) is the best for both of them. He could show unexpected cruelty towards her mannerism or ridicule private thoughts she shared with him in the past. Perhaps he starts cutting her down about physical features she is insecure about.... Guys do this all the time to try keeping a girl by lowering their self-esteem, making them question their attractiveness to others. Despicable but true....

There would surely be plenty of material for them to avoid each other for awhile then.

 

[Caged Maiden]

<- yeah when I was young, I used to push guys, just to see where they'd fight back, and some just let me completely walk on them, so I dumped them. HA is that why my marriage has lasted so long? My husband doesn't take any crap. I've never had so much respect for anyone I dated.

 

[Rikilamaro]

Well that's very helpful. Thanks ya'll.

I think I've got a workable scene now.

 

[ThinkerX]

I almost included my tale, but thought better of it.

 

[Kit]

<- yeah when I was young, I used to push guys, just to see where they'd fight back,.

I've seen this a lot.

Someone who wants to break up but doesn't want to have THE TALK will often pick fights about all sorts of stupid stuff. Often they wind up poking the other person with their sharp stick to the point where the other person blows up and dumps THEM. That way they don't have to do the dirty work.

 

[Rikilamaro]

I almost included my tale, but thought better of it.

Don't be a tease, X.
Share all the gory details!

 

[ThinkerX]

Don't be a tease, X.
Share all the gory details!

I had it all written up, started thinking about it...and decided not to go there. But...

Mine ended with my pregnant GF (by me) tracking down and marrying a guy who treated her like dirt for five years (ex-con who decided that a wife would look make him look good in the eyes of the law). Saw my daughter maybe five times in the first five years of her life.

My brothers breakup was epic, involving her having nasty hallucinations brought on from taking the meds intended for her children - meds issued by the freaking school system. Highlights (?) include her tearing apart their place searching for recording equipment, a hallucinated bear attack (a tale in and of itself), and the time she called up my Pa to inform him she had a gun at my brothers head - except my brother was over at Dad's place at the time, nowhere near her. That took lots of expensive court visits to resolve.