The Dwarves of Ahrenzach; the Orthodox, the Traditional, the Faithful

[osimur_wil]

Hello, everyone. I'm back again with some more worldbuilding and lore. This time, I'm here with dwarves, everyone's favorite short, bearded, ax-toting grumps. Though, through some brainstorming and looking into Eastern European culture, I've hopefully put a fresh spin on things when it comes to the tunnel dwelling shorties.

Please be sure to tell me what you think.
Ahrenzach.rtf - Google Drive

 

[Netardapope]

I'm getting the vibe that you were trying to keep in the traditional spirit of dwarves, but add enough alterations to make them your dwarves. And if I am correct in this assertion, I'd be happy to inform you that what you wrote worked well. But of course, as with all pieces of writing there are some doubts I'd like to have cleared up, but let's start with a few lists.

What I liked:

1. How the history behind the coming of the Storm Lord is different depending on the religious account and the historical account. This is something that fantasy authors should do more often, which is the implementation of false narratives into history. Often times, the worlds we construct feel very stagnant in how the history is so straightforward, and it's refreshing to see you avoid this common issue.

2. A Dwarven Theocracy is really cool. The Lord Patriach's remind me of the Orthodox Christianity practiced in the Byzantine Empire and Eastern Europe, and the reason for your society having magic-users outlawed is rather reasonable. I mean, if you are essentially believed to be playing with the powers that brought in the counterpart to the Almighty, as in, the Storm Lord, that's probably enough to earn you a vendetta by a deeply religious civilization. I also enjoy how you incorporated a moderately democratic system with regard to local rulers and government officials. Now, while the idea of a line of sovereigns descended from a deity is rather common, it fits your setting very well.

3.The use of beards to indicate status is a neat way to give a reason for a classic trope. If I might add a suggestion, it would be that individuals whom are forced to shave, heretics and the like, be given that facial hair style (or lack thereof) in an attempt to make them look more like humans. Kind of like saying "You're not true dwarves" or something like that. Of course, that is up to you and depends on how humans look in your setting.

4. Stone Wardens sound really cool. By any chance, would they have relation to the Heralds?

Some Doubts I had:

1. In the first line of your document, you say that this nation is not a singular entity, yet in the next paragraph, you say that they have recently become one. Have they become a fully centralized state or not? So far, they sound like the kind of confederation that is decentralized in peace time, and highly centralized during wars, would that be safe to say? Maybe this is just semantics and I'm looking too deep into it.

2. The Deadly Sins of the churh are fairly similar to the traditional Christian ones. This isn't bad, just something your readers might pick up on. I doubt it'll take people out of the experience, but it's worth considering.

3. If Stone Wardens are considered more important than your average priest, it would be very important that you elaborate on the history of them as an organization. Are they an ancient institution? Or an institution that came about during the recent centralization? Furthermore, is the Almighty a warrior deity whose priesthood is trained in combat and strategy? If not, what makes them qualified to lead the armies?

4. Is there a spectrum of middle-ground for the type of beards that a middle-class citizen may wield?

5. Has advanced tech been fully implemented into their armies?

Healthy stuff you have here, friend. I hope these questions might help you in adding further detail to your civilization!

 

[osimur_wil]

I'm getting the vibe that you were trying to keep in the traditional spirit of dwarves, but add enough alterations to make them your dwarves. And if I am correct in this assertion, I'd be happy to inform you that what you wrote worked well. But of course, as with all pieces of writing there are some doubts I'd like to have cleared up, but let's start with a few lists.

What I liked:

1. How the history behind the coming of the Storm Lord is different depending on the religious account and the historical account. This is something that fantasy authors should do more often, which is the implementation of false narratives into history. Often times, the worlds we construct feel very stagnant in how the history is so straightforward, and it's refreshing to see you avoid this common issue.

2. A Dwarven Theocracy is really cool. The Lord Patriach's remind me of the Orthodox Christianity practiced in the Byzantine Empire and Eastern Europe, and the reason for your society having magic-users outlawed is rather reasonable. I mean, if you are essentially believed to be playing with the powers that brought in the counterpart to the Almighty, as in, the Storm Lord, that's probably enough to earn you a vendetta by a deeply religious civilization. I also enjoy how you incorporated a moderately democratic system with regard to local rulers and government officials. Now, while the idea of a line of sovereigns descended from a deity is rather common, it fits your setting very well.

3.The use of beards to indicate status is a neat way to give a reason for a classic trope. If I might add a suggestion, it would be that individuals whom are forced to shave, heretics and the like, be given that facial hair style (or lack thereof) in an attempt to make them look more like humans. Kind of like saying "You're not true dwarves" or something like that. Of course, that is up to you and depends on how humans look in your setting.

4. Stone Wardens sound really cool. By any chance, would they have relation to the Heralds?

Some Doubts I had:

1. In the first line of your document, you say that this nation is not a singular entity, yet in the next paragraph, you say that they have recently become one. Have they become a fully centralized state or not? So far, they sound like the kind of confederation that is decentralized in peace time, and highly centralized during wars, would that be safe to say? Maybe this is just semantics and I'm looking too deep into it.

2. The Deadly Sins of the churh are fairly similar to the traditional Christian ones. This isn't bad, just something your readers might pick up on. I doubt it'll take people out of the experience, but it's worth considering.

3. If Stone Wardens are considered more important than your average priest, it would be very important that you elaborate on the history of them as an organization. Are they an ancient institution? Or an institution that came about during the recent centralization? Furthermore, is the Almighty a warrior deity whose priesthood is trained in combat and strategy? If not, what makes them qualified to lead the armies?

4. Is there a spectrum of middle-ground for the type of beards that a middle-class citizen may wield?

5. Has advanced tech been fully implemented into their armies?

Healthy stuff you have here, friend. I hope these questions might help you in adding further detail to your civilization!

To address some of your doubts:

1. I do understand your confusion, and I admit to wording that poorly. Your assumption of peace time decentralization, wartime centralization is actually fairly accurate to what I was aiming for.

2. Since I did base the dwarven theological system on Eastern Orthodoxy (loosely in some places), it only made sense to use the Christian sins as sins for dwarves.

3. I need to develop the Stone Wardens further, admittedly. They were kind of a spur of the moment idea that I put in. For now, I will say that they're an ancient order, possibly founded by the Heralds in the mythic ages of the dwarves. To address whether or not the Almighty is a warrior deity, I'd say that's be an aspect of the Almighty. To most, the Almighty is a protector, the heart of the stone and the warmth of the hearth. In some cases, that idea of a protector can be extrapolated into the idea of a warrior. Though, that does make the dwarven military more like a self-defense force. I would see priests being trained as military officers simply out of pragmatism.

4. I would say that there's a general idea of what a middle class beard is, which in my mind is a close cropped half-beard, that can be played with using personal effects and style.

5. Progress is slow with dwarves. So no, not really. Guns and steam tanks are very rare as it comes to the dwarven military.

 

[Netardapope]

To address some of your doubts:

1. I do understand your confusion, and I admit to wording that poorly. Your assumption of peace time decentralization, wartime centralization is actually fairly accurate to what I was aiming for.

2. Since I did base the dwarven theological system on Eastern Orthodoxy (loosely in some places), it only made sense to use the Christian sins as sins for dwarves.

3. I need to develop the Stone Wardens further, admittedly. They were kind of a spur of the moment idea that I put in. For now, I will say that they're an ancient order, possibly founded by the Heralds in the mythic ages of the dwarves. To address whether or not the Almighty is a warrior deity, I'd say that's be an aspect of the Almighty. To most, the Almighty is a protector, the heart of the stone and the warmth of the hearth. In some cases, that idea of a protector can be extrapolated into the idea of a warrior. Though, that does make the dwarven military more like a self-defense force. I would see priests being trained as military officers simply out of pragmatism.

4. I would say that there's a general idea of what a middle class beard is, which in my mind is a close cropped half-beard, that can be played with using personal effects and style.

5. Progress is slow with dwarves. So no, not really. Guns and steam tanks are very rare as it comes to the dwarven military.

No worries here. This is all just a brainstorm, and you've already got yourself a decent foundation. You're striking all the right cords as far as I'm concerned. Any issue with the wording in your document ought to be fixed later, for now, just focus on bringing out all those precious ideas you have bubbling up in your head. You're going in the right direction, friend. [emoji106]

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[SergeiMeranov]

The backstory of the race sounded OK. There are lots of traditional dwarven elements like the caste system, being mistrusting of outsiders, living underground, beard culture, etc. You've also added some new things like the Theocracy element which seems interesting. I'd echo what Netardapope said regarding the false narrative in the religious tomes. I think building that sort of stuff in is a cool feature.

Couple of questions I had:

1) Why because they use magic does it automatically mean they turn to science and technology? If we accept that they did, then why are they so mistrustful of it that it takes them so long to adopt it? It seems like if they have problems that need solutions only magic typically provided then they'd be quick to embrace any solution to it to solve the problem, but if the problem they're solving with technology isn't that important then why would they even try? It also stands to reason that a race that embraces technology and science is likely going to be naturally curious and experimental which it sounds like your people aren't supposed to be given the respect for tradition etc.

2) Why do the dwarves not like outsiders? I know it's a common trope with them, but what causes it in your case? Is it because the other races brazenly use magic like fools? Is them not liking outsiders the reason they're secretive about their culture? Why wouldn't they want to share it?

3) I get that stone armor for the stone wardens sort of fits with the theme, but it seems logically impractical without the use of some magic. Doesn't it just seem like that'd be terrible armor? And if they use stone armor because of their reverence for stonework then why don't they use stone weapons?

Overall the culture sounds cool, but if you want to flesh it out more try to think of why the culture developed the way it did and explain that. If they're secretive, why are they secretive? If they revere stonework more than the people that get them food then why do they do that? How did a theocracy form at all especially given the decentralized way the dwarven civilization seems to work. We know from real life that the further you were from the Pope the less you cared about what the Pope did, especially as a ruler, so why does the dwarven city 1,000 miles away care what the patriarch says or does?

I'm not saying any of those questions being unanswered is bad. I think you've got a pretty realized race here, but those questions will help you flesh it out. I'll also shoot out my little proviso that the most important thing to remember is that story relevant details are the most important aspects to work out unless this is just a fun exercise in race/world building.