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the hallway

deadgirl

New Member
The hallway didn't just stretch; it exhaled, the walls distending like a throat mid-swallow as the familiar twelve-pace trek to the nursery warped into an impossible, nightmare gauntlet. Each frantic step Elias took felt anchored in invisible silt, the floorboards beneath him vibrating with a deep, rhythmic thrum that mirrored the wet sliding sound still bleeding through the monitor's speakers. To his left, the family portraits distorted behind their glass, the faces of his loved ones melting into elongated, eyeless masks that tracked his progress with predatory stillness. The air grew thick and cloying, reeking of stagnant well-water and oxidized copper, while the floral wallpaper vines uncurled from the drywall like questing cilia, grazing his shivering arms with a sandpaper grit that drew thin lines of red across his skin.
Every time he blinked, the door at the end of the corridor seemed to reset its position, jumping further away into a swirling vortex of shadow that defied the house’s physical blueprints. The ceiling appeared to descend, the heavy crown molding dripping a black, viscous fluid that sizzled where it touched the carpet. Just as the nursery door seemed to retreat into a vanishing point of absolute shadow, a cold, wet pressure bloomed against the nape of his neck—a sensation like a slug trailing across his spine—accompanied by a voice that used Clara’s infantile pitch to produce a guttural, multi-tonal rasp: "Run faster, Daddy, it's almost inside." Elias lunged, his hand finally colliding with the brass knob, which felt less like cold metal and more like frozen, porous bone that pulsed with a slow, sick heartbeat. As he wrenched the door open, the hallway behind him violently contracted with a wet, fleshy snap, the space folding in on itself until the bedroom he had just left vanished into a seam of jagged wood and torn plaster. He was sealed into the silent, suffocating dark of the nursery. The transition was so abrupt it left his ears popping, the sudden absence of the hallway's groan replaced by a silence so absolute it felt like a physical weight pressing against his eardrums. He stood paralyzed, the flickering nightlight casting long, jagged shadows of the crib across the floor, while the smell of wet earth intensified, rising now from the floorboards. Clara was no longer a lump in the bed; she was a void in the room's geometry, and the sliding had begun again, directly under his feet.
 

Genly

Troubadour
Very interesting. Do you intend for this to be critiqued? Then maybe it should be in Critique Requests. Someone else might have a different opinion, but Publishing is probably about how to publish stuff.
 

deadgirl

New Member
Very interesting. Do you intend for this to be critiqued? Then maybe it should be in Critique Requests. Someone else might have a different opinion, but Publishing is probably about how to publish stuff.
my bad new on this sight
 

pmmg

Myth Weaver
Seems ppl are gunshy to comment on this because it may be in the wrong section. What do you want us to do with this?

Would you like feedback on the passage?

And if so, we can get the Mods to move it....or carry on where it is.
 

deadgirl

New Member
Seems ppl are gunshy to comment on this because it may be in the wrong section. What do you want us to do with this?

Would you like feedback on the passage?

And if so, we can get the Mods to move it....or carry on where it is.
yeah feedback
 

pmmg

Myth Weaver
Okay. You need five posts to open the whole site up. Its probably open now. I asked the mods to move it so others arent confused.

And welcome here.
 
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