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Throughlines

Hi Jorunn.

In a case like that, I might ask what your primary focus is, the thing around which all else circles. That focus will help you find the throughline; other elements will support the story, give it texture, represent obstacles and developments that circle the throughline and lead to its conclusion.

Goal of MC 1: Wants to be accepted and have a real role in her society.
Goal of MC 2: Wants to maintain/return to peace and order.

On one hand, as stated these seem like supporting elements, potential obstacles, and suggest some necessary development, especially considering this:

"Twin sisters stranded in an unfamiliar city must adapt to their new abilities and surroundings before a burgeouning threat destroys their new home".

That burgeoning threat seems like a driver, which is kinda another word for goal.

What are the goals?

  • Wants to be accepted and have a real role in her society.
  • Wants to maintain/return to peace and order.
  • Wants to adapt to surroundings, an unfamiliar city [society.]
  • Wants to adapt to new abilities.
  • Wants to stop a threat that may well destroy their new home.

I think other goals might exist, although you've not given more information. What is the relationship between these sisters, and do they have goals relating to each other based on this relationship?

In any case, a single one of these goals can become the focus for a story.

  • The story is "About" one character becoming accepted and having a real role in her society.
  • Or, the story is "About" one character trying to maintain/return to peace and order.
  • Or, the story is "About" these two sisters adapting to a strange new city.
  • It's "About" these two sisters adapting to new abilities.
  • It's "About" a force/threat that can destroy this city (which must be stopped.)

There are five different stories that can be told, given these goals, heh.

Are you familiar with the M.I.C.E. quotient? Milieu, Idea, Character, Event. Four basic "types" of story. All stories will have all these elements to varying degrees, but a story typically has a throughline, or a focus, on one.

The first two of the above bullet points would probably be Character stories or at least have a focus on a single character's journey to achieve the corresponding goal. So, they'd probably have only one MC, just one of the sisters. (However, I'd bet you could create two interlocking character stories, with two POVs, and still have a Character type of story.)

The third might be a character story or possibly could be a Milieu story, since elements of this strange, new world would be receiving lots of focus.

The fourth and fifth are probably Event stories, although the fourth might be a character story depending on how the new abilities lead to character development or even a milieu story if the powers are used as symbols of the milieu, i.e. keyholes for exploring that milieu.

These elements, M.I.C.E., would exist in all five stories, but one element would be the focus and the others would be supporting, adding texture, etc. The easiest way to think about this falls on "M." A great many stories use the milieu, i.e. the world, as a kind of backdrop. That backdrop is necessary for every story but doesn't receive the focus. It's supportive. Unless of course you are writing a Milieu story that is "About" that milieu.

Returning to the elements of your story...The conceptual problem of course is that the story is "about"—lowercase—all of those elements. But what is the focus, the driver? What's it About?

Ok, so I hope the above isn't confusing. I think this is just one way to think about our stories that might be helpful. Based on the info you've given, I'm not sure of the type of story you are aiming for, but I hope this helps.

As for the specific throughline you've given, two additional thoughts come to mind. I'll try to be brief, heh.

When trying to create premise statements for my stories, I realized I was very fond of the word embroiled. But the problem with that word is that it's passive, heh—

A master magician and his three apprentices travel to the capital city of the Empire on an errand from his queen and become embroiled in a feud between warring political factions.

—Maybe as a description of the story or a synopsis, that's not too bad. But as a throughline, I think it wouldn't work. What's the focus, the driver of the story? Which elements support that focus? In that synopsis, the focus is hidden, I think. The magician's/apprentices' travel is almost incidental, the errand is a convenience, the feuding political factions are milieu (or an accidental circumstance.) There's no Goal there.

"Twin sisters stranded in an unfamiliar city must adapt to their new abilities and surroundings before a burgeouning threat destroys their new home".

Yours is similar, very similar. Their stranding is incidental, a convenience, or a circumstance; the city is circumstance; and "must adapt" is rather passive. Something else is driving that need to adapt. The city? The burgeoning threat? Their own personalities, internal motivators?

I don't think having elements like those in the throughline statement is necessarily a bad thing, but only that an additional element seems to be missing.

The second point revolves around the idea of goals and motivators. Often, these two words are thought to be identical. What's her motivation? is read to be identical to What's her goal? But I like to think of them differently.

I think of motivators as stimuli to action. As such, actions circle the motivation. [The etymology here is interesting, but I digress.] This stimulus, the motivator, can be internal or external.

In a character story like the first two bullet points way up there^, the personality traits and internal goals of either sister can be that sister's motivator. In fact, in Character stories, this is always the case: the story is driven by that character's internal motivator. The character wants a new life, and everything else in the story circles that, supports that throughline, is circumstance.

But in an Event story, the primary motivator will be external. A threat to the city appears, and this threat is the primary motivator. Frodo receives the One Ring, Sauron is that threat, and this not only gets the story started but everything else in that story circles that throughline of destroying this threat.

None of this means that there can't be multiple motivators. Like the bullet list of goals, all of which might appear in a story. But what drives the story?
 
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Jorunn

Dreamer
I've been letting all this marinate over the last few days while cooking hobbit food...

Sister A is gifted, a fixture of her community, and very content with her life but an emergent healing ability forces her to leave home for training. She initially wants to just get on with the bare minimum needed to control her new abilities and go home to her business and her lover, but as she struggles to grasp the basics (the first thing she has ever really struggled with) she bonds with a particular patient with whom she starts to uncover both her real talents and a huge medical breakthrough that will have significant impact in the second story.

Sister B was born with an abnormal lack of magical ability. It appeared violently under unexplained circumstances later in life, resulting in a death and two years of observational confinement by the ruling powers of the territory who keep a close eye on such things. She travels with her sister to the new city but they are attacked on the way and she discovers she is immune to wrythesong (the hypnotic calls of deadly monsters that stalk the wilds). This oddity gets her snapped up by the guard force. She is suddenly valued for the thing that once set her apart and so goes her journey from purposeless to taking up a command position by the end of book 1.

There is also a conflict between the sisters that develops halfway through where Sister A wants to find a "cure" for Sister B's unsettled magic (which does have some potentially dangerous downsides), and Sister B comes to realize she doesn't want to be "cured". So I guess what really drives this story at least is the changing relationship between the two of them; Sister A having always been the protector (despite being technically younger, which has always been a thorn in B's pride) letting go of that control and Sister B coming to terms with repressed jealousy and a need to impress both A and their mother (who is famous as as war hero and for her magic that is in the same line as A's).

Distilled into a more coherent form, I end up with "Twin sisters navigate their close and complex bond amid rising dangers both political and supernatural". This makes the drive internal and I can make almost all my plot points serve it in some way. It also gives me opportunities for tension in book 2, as A drifts towards joining up with their mother's old resistance cell and B (literally, at one point) disappears into her greater destiny.

I still have some lingering question marks about fitting in the backstory (B's in particular) without making the story feel top heavy, but I have way more clarity that I did a week ago.
 
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