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Timeline/Pacing Problem

Trick

Auror
Hello all!

Hopefully this thread doesn't explode to over 30 pages, haha!

I'm trying to reconcile my timeline and have run across an issue. After the death of my MC's mother, his sister becomes catatonic. She is about ten years old. He makes a deal with a friend to ensure she is taken care of while he has to be away 'working' (he's a thief/assassin). Not long after this, he goes to prison. He spends approximately 5 years there, learns some interesting things and then escapes. When he escapes, I think it's important for pacing that he jump right into following up on the things he learned in prison; they're majorly important to the plot. However, as much as he is kind of heartless, he loves his sister and would definitely track her down. He will assume she is in a home or dead but find out that his friend has been providing for her all the while.

The problem is, I feel like finding his sister will take an entire chapter, to do the emotional impact justice. On the flip side, the pacing will come to a stand still during that chapter.

Please help!
 

T.Allen.Smith

Staff
Moderator
If it were me, I'd have this storyline run parallel to another. So if I have a thief/assassin character, I'd show him earning a living to keep pacing and action high, along with tension. His "off-duty" time is then devoted to searching for his sister, which provides a nice contrast to the fast pace & danger of his employment.

I'd also be inclined to have the two storylines bleed into each other, intersecting in an unexpected way which turns the MC's world upside down even further.
 

Trick

Auror
That's not bad at all. It's too bad I can't make the main plot the other storyline but he would need to travel hundreds of miles between following that arc and searching for his sister which I just can't see working. He would want to find his old employer too, though he won't find him til the end of the book. Perhaps that search will involve him picking up jobs and he'll be thieving along the way. Actually, thinking about it now, the friend taking care of his sister was also a thief and worked for the same boss so the two stories could easily bleed into each other.
 
Sounds like you might have a solution already - dang, no need for 30 pages of rambling argument! ;)

But just to add a little more grist to the mill: do you have to follow him while he checks in on his sister? If the problem with that is pacing, you can solve that by jumping a month (or however long) from him leaving prison to him showing up and starting on the follow-through. This gives time for any heat from his escape to die down, and you can make reference to where he's been and what he's been doing in the intervening time.

Alternatively, tie the sister into the plot somehow. Is she holding / keeping safe an object or piece of information that he must have to progress his quest/revenge? Is she a weakness through which his enemies could target him which he must therefore make safe? Does she, in fact, hold the key to everything?
 

Penpilot

Staff
Article Team
I'm in line with what T.A.S. said.

Yes, there's the demands of the plot, but there's also the desires of the character. In this instance there's a conflict between what the plot wants the character to do and what the character wants to do.

If finding the sister is the most important thing to this character, then they'll go find the sister before anything else. If that's the case, then in order for it not to feel awkward and the plot not to stall, you have to find a way to have it all connect/overlap.

I think the simplest solution is to have the main plot and the sister sub-plot lead to the same place. You could have the main plot lead back to where his sister is, and maybe that's part of the reason he agrees to take a job. He can get work done and check on his sister at the same time.

OR, you can just say the sister and the friend moved to or are visiting wherever the main plot is happening.

Here's a thought. So the guy goes to jail. While he's in jail he hears that the town where his sister is staying got razed to the ground by whatever. He thinks she's dead, and so, he doesn't go looking for her right away. But as it turns out, the sister and the friend got away and made there way to whatever place your main plot is happening.

In general, you have your main plot and you have sub-plots. Good sub-plots, in this case the sister, IMHO support the main plot and twine with it. Sub-plots that don't connect or affecect the main plot in any way aren't important to the story so probably don't need to be explored.
 

FarmerBrown

Troubadour
I'm not sure how you feel about letters (or telegrams, pigeons, magic orbs...whatever communication is relevant!) but your MC could hire a detective-type person or get in touch with his old thief-ring boss and he could periodically send short updates on the search to your MC. That way the search is on-going but not heavily interrupting the main storyline. Then your MC can react to the news for a bit etc. Just a thought!
 

Trick

Auror
Does she, in fact, hold the key to everything?

Unfortunately, no. She is only important in this book because the MC cares about her, and basically no one else. She will be a important in her own right in the next one though.

I think the simplest solution is to have the main plot and the sister sub-plot lead to the same place. You could have the main plot lead back to where his sister is, and maybe that's part of the reason he agrees to take a job. He can get work done and check on his sister at the same time.

The main plot is actually a personal mission that doesn't involve thieving. It involves hunting and magic and is totally unrelated to his old life. It won't tie back into his old goals until he has completed it.

OR, you can just say the sister and the friend moved to or are visiting wherever the main plot is happening.

Here's a thought. So the guy goes to jail. While he's in jail he hears that the town where his sister is staying got razed to the ground by whatever. He thinks she's dead, and so, he doesn't go looking for her right away. But as it turns out, the sister and the friend got away and made there way to whatever place your main plot is happening.

The main plot is in the wilderness. And the prison where he is has no communication with the outside world other than new inmates... I suppose a new inmate could be a mutual friend and tell him his sister is dead, believing it to be true. Could be that his friend protecting her let people think she was dead to keep her safe. That might fall in line with his mood after escaping - he thinks he's lost everything, because his hideout was destroyed and he later finds out that his belongings were preserved. I could just mirror that with the sister.

In general, you have your main plot and you have sub-plots. Good sub-plots, in this case the sister, IMHO support the main plot and twine with it. Sub-plots that don't connect or affect the main plot in any way aren't important to the story so probably don't need to be explored.

This is a FPPOV and the MC is the thread between plots. The sister directly affects him and the book is his memoir so...

I'm not sure how you feel about letters (or telegrams, pigeons, magic orbs...whatever communication is relevant!) but your MC could hire a detective-type person or get in touch with his old thief-ring boss and he could periodically send short updates on the search to your MC. That way the search is on-going but not heavily interrupting the main storyline. Then your MC can react to the news for a bit etc. Just a thought!

His old boss is a minor villain, though the MC doesn't know that at the point he escapes prison and the plot relies on him not finding the old boss until after he discovers the evil things he did. The old boss has gone underground because of governmental changes and those changes were put in place by the main villain, and a few events make the main villain the focus of the MC's ire. This is a "hero story" where the MC is not actually a good person and only saves the world because his personal vendetta ends up being against the "evil emperor" character. He doesn't even care that the main villain has become a dictator and is ruining many lives, he just wants him dead for a different reason.

Thanks to all for the advice!
 
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