Title Feedback/Help

[johnsonjoshuak]

So I'm working on a new Gunpowder Fantasy novel and I'm about 10k words in, so I know I'm jumping the gun a little early in the hunt for a title but it's been bothering me for the last two days and has really paralyzed my ability to write.

The core of the story is the betrayal of the main character by someone that she thought was a trusted lieutenant. It's a betrayal on a variety of levels, both personal and in their roles as officers in an army going to war.

The society that the story takes place in is loosely based off of the Roman Republic.

As of right now I'm considering "Dolus ex Fidelis" which is latin for Betrayal of the Faithful.

My question is: what are your thoughts on using the latin for the title. Should I go with the English translation or stick with the latin. Also, since the primary betrayal (there are several) is set up within the first few chapters of the book, spoiling the theme with the title isn't a big deal correct?

Thanks for your feedback/time!

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

I don't think a Latin title which most people won't understand will be of much use to you. Ideally you want a title that's short and pithy and makes people curious. Maybe has a double meaning. And potentially one they'll recognise. Given what you've said I'd go for something like a line from the Guy Fawkes poem and call it "Gunpowder, Treason and Plot" or a variation of that. The verse itself is circa 1870 so surely out of copyright if it ever had a recognised author.

Cheers, Greg.

 

[Scribe Lord]

I agree, making the title of your book in Latin probably isn't a good idea. If someone can't even understand the title then they probably won't be interested. They might even think that the book is written in a foreign language.

'Betrayal of the Faithful' would be fine as long as the betrayal isn't supposed to be a complete shock or is done very early on. Just my opinion.

 

[Androxine Vortex]

I agree that a Latin title probably would not be the best idea. Your title is the first thing (and the cover art) a potential reader will see. If they can't understand it because it's written in another language it could turn them away from it.

 

[Agamemnon]

I know this may seem a little odd, but I'm not being sarcastic here. There's also the consideration people might confuse it as a fan fiction for the popular Deux Ex video game series, just saying. However I agree that a title people don't understand will hamper your ability to draw in readers.

 

[johnsonjoshuak]

I agree, making the title of your book in Latin probably isn't a good idea. If someone can't even understand the title then they probably won't be interested. They might even think that the book is written in a foreign language.

'Betrayal of the Faithful' would be fine as long as the betrayal isn't supposed to be a complete shock or is done very early on. Just my opinion.

Well technically there are at least 5 different betrayals going on in the story at one level or another, and the first one is set up fairly early in the book.

 

[FatCat]

Latin is an easy go to for sounding serious, which takes away from seriousness. Try something different, titles are small game when done right. "Wet powder" can do fine if you have the story to back it up.

 

[Ireth]

Not sure about the one you mentioned already, but the title "Powder and Spark" immediately sprang into my mind when I was reading this thread.

 

[johnsonjoshuak]

Not sure about the one you mentioned already, but the title "Powder and Spark" immediately sprang into my mind when I was reading this thread.

That...might actually work. The nation is question worships a deity who is "The Great Blacksmith" and the followup trilogy is going to be titled along the lines of a sword being forged. So Powder and Spark might actually work, or maybe something close.

 

[teacup]

"Dolus ex Fidelis" does sound cool, but if I saw it on a shelf with that name I would just assume it's not written in English so probably wouldn't even pick it up and read the back. I do like the translation, though. I agree with Scribe Lord.

 

[Mythical Traveller]

I have to agree with the crowd here, I think that a foreign language title will turn readers away, unless you already have a strong fan base?

Also, do the people in your story even speak latin? (I know you said its world is based off the Roman Republic, but you didn't specify if they actually spoke latin). If it's not a language relevant to the story, then the title really doesn't fit.

As for spoiling the plot with the title, from what you've told us, I don't think you have too much to worry about there. Titles are supposed to give the reader something of an insight about the nature of your story. If betrayal is a central theme, as opposed to just a plot twist in the final act, then the English version of your title works well.