1. Welcome to the Fantasy Writing Forums. Register Now to join us.

Writing an aesthetically perfect woman

Discussion in 'Writing Discussions' started by 2WayParadox, Mar 18, 2015.

  1. Trick

    Trick Auror

    1,258
    359
    83
    Isn't it amazing how the fact that somebody was banned for writing something in a forum really makes you want to know what they said? Curiosity killed the cat though...

    I'll agree with some previous posts about going with minimal description and playing up the affect of her beauty on others. There are guys, and probably some ladies too, who would do very dumb/evil/offensive things for the sake of a beauty they felt was perfect and that could definitely lead to scars for the beautiful person. Since your premise is believable (insofar as she's either perfectly beautiful in a fantasy world or perfectly beautiful in the eyes of only some people in any world) I doubt you'll have an issue with cliche. Just don't make her pouty about it; make the scars deep.

    Going all, "her face was the perfect representation of the Fibonacci sequence etc etc etc blah blah" (intended to be read aloud with a terrible impersonation of a haughty English person) would make me think she looks like the Mona Lisa and ... well, I'll say no more.
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2015
    S.T. Ockenner and BronzeOracle like this.
  2. BronzeOracle

    BronzeOracle Sage

    287
    85
    28
    I think this is an interesting take on beauty that is grounded in reality. Beauty without the means to defend it is like anything highly sought after - it can be taken by the greedy and twisted, with traumatic results. Beauty without power can be a liability for the person involved, with the consequent scars as Trick mentions.

    In my novel the characters when young are coveting the marvelous armour of one of their heroes. Their fighting instructor cautions them along the lines of "You like that pretty armour? Then you had better get good enough to wear it, for in battle it will draw enemies like flies to s*** and then you will be fighting doubly for your life".
     
    S.T. Ockenner likes this.
  3. stephenspower

    stephenspower Inkling

    486
    164
    43
    I also like the idea of a slight imperfection, but would that fit into your world? Consider the difference between Hawthorne's "The Birthmark," which supposedly ruins an otherwise aesthetically perfect girl, and rug makers who intentionally flawed their rugs because perfection was for their god alone.
     
    S.T. Ockenner likes this.
  4. 2WayParadox

    2WayParadox Sage

    377
    49
    28
    For now I have her with light grey eyes and platinum blonde hair. Somewhat clichéd maybe, but as far as I know both of those are quite rare.

    Perhaps giving each eye a different shade (e.g. light blue and light grey) would be a subtle enough imperfection. I also remember seeing someone with a half green/half blue eye. Really strange if you notice something like that, but I liked it.
     
    S.T. Ockenner likes this.
  5. Tom

    Tom Istar

    2,726
    1,191
    163
    Heterochromia? That's a nice touch. Making her otherwise perfect but giving her that single flaw is a fascinating route to go.
     
    S.T. Ockenner likes this.
  6. stephenspower

    stephenspower Inkling

    486
    164
    43
    My aunt has different colored eyes. So does David Bowie, but his are the result of a fight. So the question is: Is the imperfection natural or was it caused like a scar?
     
    S.T. Ockenner likes this.
  7. Tom

    Tom Istar

    2,726
    1,191
    163
    I have partial heterochromia in my left eye--both eyes are dark blue, but there's a gray-green streak in the left one. It's very subtle, and you'd only noticed it if I was in strong light and you were standing close to me. I believe I was born with it, but ever since I got socked in the eye a few years back, it's been a lot more prominent than it used to be.
     
    S.T. Ockenner likes this.
  8. 2WayParadox

    2WayParadox Sage

    377
    49
    28
    She'd be born with it. The eye thing is growing on me, it's got a certain elegance in my opinion.
     
    S.T. Ockenner likes this.
  9. Gryphos

    Gryphos Auror

    1,417
    466
    83
    Rather related. In my current WIP there's a woman with mismatched eyes, a scarred lip and slightly crooked smile. In one scene this dude, who's known to be something of a charming womaniser, tells her that she's beautiful. She's skeptical, naturally...

    Perfection is boring, and no one wants to look at boring. Imperfection is interesting, and something can't be beautiful without being interesting. So for your story I would make this woman imperfect, give her flaws, make her a 'Lady Luna'.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 11, 2017
  10. I like it!
     
  11. Caged Maiden

    Caged Maiden Staff Article Team

    3,597
    1,516
    163
    I know I'm late to the game, but just a few notes about historical beauties. Most of them weren't even beautiful. What they were was powerful, elegant, eloquent, and intelligent. It's funny how strong qualities get interpreted as beauty, but what people respond most to is allure. If you are intrigued, your mind caught up in processing who this person is, how they think, and what they will do next, it's so much more powerful than wide hips, long legs, curly hair, a straight nose, etc.

    Sure men like curves and feminine features, but if the most gorgeous woman in the world, the Venus you create in your mind, slumped when she walked, ate with her mouth open, couldn't string three thoughts together intentionally, curled her lip at everyone she didn't like, etc., all her looks couldn't redeem her. No one would go to war for her. I'll bet you Helen of Troy knew how to use her eyes to make her suitors feel like the only man in the world. She probably stood tall and carried herself with poise. She probably spoke clearly and directly, and made eye contact, and said interesting and intelligent things. SHe probably didn't leave her manners at home or complain all the time. I mean, the list can go on and on. And it isn't much different for men. I mean, I dated a guy I thought was hotter than anyone in the world, but the poor bastard couldn't have a conversation if his life depended on it. In short, he was dumb. Almost cruelly dumb. It was a shame, really, but there was no amount of hotness that could make time spent with him palatable. I mean...you know, the body is only good for so many things until you must incorporate the mind.

    It's the mind people are attracted to in the long run. The mind is where the personality lives and after the impulses of initial attraction wear off, it's all that matters.
     
    S.T. Ockenner and Tom like this.
  12. Terry Greer

    Terry Greer Sage

    317
    121
    43
    I've always found describing a character as attractive awkward.

    It's easier (at least for me) to have characters think this or discuss it with other characters.

    Perhaps the best way, therefore is is to show her attractiveness in the reactions of those around her - from their point of view. That way it's more personal and you can look at the different parts of her anatomy/mind/voice/personality etc. that appeal to different people. That way each character in the story will fixate on different elements of her beauty - and that can also apply to either sex.
     
  13. Legendary Sidekick

    Legendary Sidekick The HAM'ster Moderator

    9,825
    2,947
    413
    I like beauty in my MC to be portrayed in the way she carries herself. That is, there's no narrative describing her beauty. But she might be particular about her outfit (which may in fact be odd and rugged, or even "boyish"-looking if full armor), she might be beaming with confidence, or her voice, thoughts and words may reflect an inner beauty. And accents are always cute, right?

    (Well… I think Addison's cute, anyway.)
     
  14. Devor

    Devor Fiery Keeper of the Hat Moderator

    7,858
    3,532
    313
    ^ The answer is right here.

    Just put the word "Legendary" in front of beauty, and you're good to go!
     
    Legendary Sidekick likes this.
  15. Ruby

    Ruby Auror

    1,135
    299
    83
    I have a beautiful girl in my WIP, set in Victorian England. She has long, white blonde hair, pale blue eyes, a perfect complexion, and is tall and slim. The art teacher sees her in his studio and is immediately smitten. He thinks she is a goddess and wishes to paint her image. However, she is an evil spy who has been sent to kill the female MC. Even though the artist soon discovers she is up to no good, he forgives her because she is so beautiful. :eek:

    I thought it would be interesting to show that beauty is only skin deep but can make fools of men.
     
  16. Ireth

    Ireth Myth Weaver

    11,095
    1,553
    313
    As long as you don't make every man in the story immediately fall for the character, it might work. Otherwise you risk stereotyping men as shallow and only interested in a woman's looks.
     
    Ruby likes this.
  17. Ruby

    Ruby Auror

    1,135
    299
    83
    Thanks Ireth,

    Yes, well the reader knows in advance of her true nature and, of course, she destroys the artist and his prior relationship, thereby ruining his chance of happiness.

    I'm considering whether to make her asexual or gay.

    I remember reading recently that in different ages such as, say medieval times, it would be very unusual to come across someone who was beautiful.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2015
  18. 2WayParadox

    2WayParadox Sage

    377
    49
    28
    It's still a first draft with no adjustments, but I feel that this piece of writing takes into account a good part of the advice I've gotten from you guys. Let me know what you think, and I'd like to thank everybody who put their time in responding to my issue.

    Some time later, Ellie and Tom arrived at the beach. A white sarong was tied over her left shoulder, while her hair was draped over her right. They walked onto the sand to find a spot and heads turned in a gentle wave as Ellie walked past. A couple teenage girls whispered to each other before they watched Ellie walk by. Tom considered what they were seeing. Ellie walked with an elegance she’d copied from Ruth and that she’d made her own.

    Her sarong hugged her body like a thin veil, hiding and revealing at the same time. The fabric played around her toned legs as she walked. Ripples ran up the fabric. Somehow, her uncovered shoulder decorated with her flow of long, pale hair was the most enticing part to see. And if you made it that for up, you were doomed to not look down for quite some time as your eyes wandered the sculpted lines of her faces. Not everyone would notice the last appeal her looks had to offer, one eye was a pale shade of grey while the other was a pale blue. Sometimes it was hard to see the difference, but in the sunlight the blue took on a darker hue while the grey seemed to fade and revealed little golden specks flickering in the rays of the sun.

    Tom put his hand on Ellie’s shoulder when they found a spot and said, “If you’re not comfortable, you don’t have to take it off. We can even go back if you’d like that better.”

    She shook her head and grabbed the ends of the knot she’d tied her sarong with. With one pull it was undone, and she pulled the fabric loose with a flourish. More than one person gasped as Ellie revealed herself. Tom saw blushes as people looked away in embarrassment after their involuntary responses. Others were less bothered with their response and just gaped as Tom and Ellie put down their towels. Tom shook his head and said, “You’d think being at a beach would prepare them a little. Lie down on your belly, I’ll put sunscreen on your back.”

    Ellie was glad to be lying down, facing away from the people on the beach. Her moment of courage had wavered after she caught some of the looks cast her way. Putting her sarong back on was tempting to say the least, but she couldn’t be afraid now. Her beauty wasn’t a curse, it was a gift she could give to those who cared for her.

    Ellie didn’t stray far from Tom during their time on the beach. Anyone who tried to approach would back off when they caught his look. She didn’t mind that for now. Being seen like this was enough stress by itself. Adding talking on top of that would be too much. Tomorrow maybe.

    She still enjoyed her time at the beach though. She’d never been before. The sounds of the waves calmed her. The heat wasn’t something she was used to, especially not the hot sand that hurt her feet. Tom had laughed when he saw her dancing around and had shown her the cool, wet sand just below the surface. They played games, swam, laughed and had ice cream. Time flew by, and she forgot about the looks she got wherever she went.

    2way
     
  19. S.T. Ockenner

    S.T. Ockenner Auror

    1,740
    295
    83
    Wait...Darn, mod editing now the replies to the person won't make sense. Guess I'll have to use my imagination to figure it out.
     
  20. S.T. Ockenner

    S.T. Ockenner Auror

    1,740
    295
    83
    There And Back Again has said only two things on this forum.
     
Loading...

Share This Page