Getting into your characters' heads

[Sam Evren]

You mentioned in your original post that more than one person believes Cadell to be an impostor. If Brigh's had even a hint of that suggested to her, I think her trust is going to be in really short supply.

She's going to demand some sort of proof of loyalty. I know you're concerned about repeating information, but from Brigh's point of view, it's not repetition. This is vital information she needs in the moment.

Maybe there's another way for Cadell to prove his loyalty?

Maybe there's a way that Signy can prove her friendship---or at the very least disprove her hostility?

When language is a barrier, there are things we can still do to show our intentions.

If you're Brigh and you see me as a threat, if I kneel before you, it's more than just a sign of submission, I'm letting you have a free swing at me. If you want to kill me, you can.

Maybe that's the sort of ice-breaker you need to crack the conversation open?

 

[Ireth]

Proof of loyalty is good... if I can just think of how to do that. Signy has already tried to prove her non-hostility by curtsying to Brigh, showing she doesn't intend to attack and knows how to be courteous. She's not entirely ready to fully submit to Brigh yet via kneeling or the like, as she knows very little about her. Also, if Brigh does kill Signy (or forces Cadell to as proof of his loyalty), that violates the claim Cadell has on Signy (claiming is serious business to the Fae) and the oath he swore to protect her, and may technically give Cadell the right to retaliate against Brigh, repaying blood for blood. Not exactly a wise move for Her Majesty.

 

[Helen]

Cadell has taken Signy to meet with Queen Brigh, the ruler of his people. Queen Brigh views black-elves to be thoroughly evil, so the idea of a good, helpful one is entirely new to her (as it was for Cadell).

In Avatar, Neytiri brings Jake to the village to confront the king and queen of the Omaticaya, who believe that humans are evil (actually sick).

One way to deal with "the opposite" is a) death, b) outcast. The reaction is related to thematic opposition - the two opposites are poison / threatening to each other and cannot co-exist.

There's sometimes a third option, c) imprisonment. But that's a delaying mechanism for d).

The fourth option, d) the queen decides that Jake should learn their ways, because signs indicate that he is extraordinary.

The point of it all is this: the arrival of "the opposite" leads, sooner or later, to change.

I'm not saying that Signy's going to learn Brigh's/Cadell's ways. I'm saying that the arrival of an opposite is usually a trigger for some kind of change and that the initial reaction to the arrival of an opposite is as above, because you've got two contradictory worlds clashing, which represent contradictory principles.



Hope that helps.

 

[Ireth]

Oh, definitely. Change is what the bulk of the novel is about, mainly pertaining to Cadell's character development. He is the one to see the value in a truce between humans and Fae, who are normally bitter enemies, and as the plot goes on he pushes for the truce to become a lasting alliance. Sadly, many Fae still consider humans to be their playthings, and they want the truce to end as soon as the black-elven threat is eradicated.

Signy's presence is something that sprang up while I was writing, and didn't factor into my original ideas. Cadell was initially going to escape on his own and return home alone, much to the relief of everyone, not their suspicion. Her presence may have effects on both the main plot, that being everyone-vs.-villain, and the Cadell-vs.-society subplot.

As for your Avatar comparison, that's pretty spot-on. Signy will likely learn the ways of the Fae anyway, though it isn't her primary intention. She just wants an escape from living under the villain's thumb, and Faerie happens to be the perfect place. She can survive better there than in any other of the Nine Realms of Norse cosmology, since there's no sun in Faerie to turn her to stone. The biggest issue is that she looks like a bad guy, and she doesn't want to have the Fae change her looks by magic (which is very possible) because then she'd be lying, even though it would probably be safer. She may change her mind in the future, but for now, she is what she is.

 

[Sam Evren]

Thinking of the Norse, they wouldn't necessarily see submitting to death as a submissive action.

Think of it this way, in Signy's view, she understands how she's perceived, she understands the less than veiled hostility.

To willingly offer herself for death puts her life in her own hands. She's offering (as opposed to the Queen's taking it). She's deciding to put her life on the line to prove her intentions to Brigh (and in the same move depriving Brigh of the decision to kill her).

She could even be defiant whilst doing it. This isn't a tail-between-the-legs sort of "submission." This is a stare-in-the-eyes, pride-in-posture offer. My life is my own, if you need it, I offer it to you.

That level of commitment, that level of power in pride that lets someone walk willingly into the maw of death, could take Brigh by surprise. It might let her open a dialogue with Cadell simply to ask what Signy is doing.

The Vikings did things on the British Isles that the natives thought were with works of demons. In truth, the Vikings were just culturally---and religiously---different. The Vikings hit the monastery at Lindisfarne, and that was just unthinkable/unholy to the English.

The English labeled the Vikings as monstrous barbarians, but I believe they had their own rules, their own pride in battle. Those rules were just alien to the English.

Where I'm heading is that, perhaps, it wouldn't be strange for Signy to have pride enough to offer herself---not as spoil to victor, but as life/proof-of-life for Cadell. She broke her cultural stereotype (and probably laws from the sounds of it) to rescue Cadell. In her eyes, maybe it's in for a penny, in for a pound?

If that's not a common sight for Brigh (this prideful disdain of death), that might open a window of opportunity for dialogue. She could question Cadell as to the meaning of Signy's behavior. That might give you a place to discuss the racial differences and prejudices.

 

[Ireth]

Excellent points, Sam. I'll definitely take that into consideration.

 

[Sam Evren]

I hope I'm not pestering you with this, Ireth, it's just such an interesting question you've posed. I hope I'm being more of an interactive sounding board than an annoyance. *really hopes*

 

[Ireth]

No worries! This is giving me a lot to think about, which could really help the scene and the rest of the story, so it's all good.

 

[The Dark One]

I think the answer is staring you in the face.

If the queen is undecided, why should you be anything less? Use her doubt as a plot driver and you may find the resolution suddenly leaps out in an unexpected way...eg, the queen, convinced by Cadell, finally gives her trust to the black elf...and that's when the reader discovers the black elf is truly evil after all.

Or not...endless possibilities.

 

[Ireth]

Signy is not and never was intended to be evil; as the sole established good-aligned black-elf, she is a direct foil to Jarl, the sole evil-aligned light-elf in the story. Though she is something of an anti-hero, Signy does not serve the villain, though she lets the villain believe she does.

As for the queen, conflicting emotions and doubt are all well and good, but the trouble I'm having is with showing them purely through dialogue and body language. Hard to do when the queen is so standoffish and not really given to emotion, especially in sight of her subjects (and most of all, with one she's doubtful about).

 

[Sam Evren]

Could the conflict show in microexpressions on the queen's face? Not everyone can read them---and for the person expressing them, they're involuntary.

Perhaps Cadell is familiar enough with the queen to be able to read these microexpressions. He may or may not even realize he's doing it. It would make him an excellent advisor, seeming to read the queen's mind at times.

They could be portrayed, perhaps, as shifts in the eyes, letting her eyes linger on a person, or, say, drift in a certain direction (perhaps "right and down" if she's angry).

Essentially Brigh would be broadcasting these microexpressions to everyone, but only Cadell would be "in-tune" enough to receive them.

You could give them a history. So, she looks down and right when she's angry because that's the direction of the drawer in her desk where she keeps her execution orders. Maybe her eyes flicker up and center when she's contemplating a positive outcome because that where her favorite fresco appears on the ceiling when she's sitting her throne?

 

[Ireth]

I hadn't even thought of stuff like that! I have a hard time reading facial and bodily cues in general, so giving them to my characters, especially such subtle ones, sometimes doesn't even occur to me. Thanks for the tips!

*makes mental note to go back and add stuff like that to past scenes with Brigh*

 

[Sam Evren]

I've seen articles and documentaries that discuss microexpressions as tools used by agencies like the FBI for questioning suspects and witnesses.

A quick search on YouTube brings up a number of videos (I think the top result is a 42 minute documentary) on microexpressions that might help explain the phenomenon further.

You're very welcome!

 

[Deleted member 2173]

This might sound odd, but interview her. Act as though she sits in front of you and ask her. Don't let her not answer. Force her. If you treat the character this way, you will be surprised by what answers you get. I couldn't find a voice for one character so I interviewed him. Turns out he ended up sounding like an uptight proper Brit. Then I had to figure out why, since he was a thieving fur-covered cross between a flying squirrel and chimp. Turned out he's embarrassed by his race and what he and other races view as a lack of sophistication and class. His character arc become gaining some pride in his people for what they can contribute to the world, and eventually lead his race to educate themselves beyond the basics of existence.