Why I Quit Writing (and am Seeking Help to Un-Quit...)

[Xaysai]

Have you explored different genres? It may be you haven't found the right kind of genre to write in, especially if you still have an urge to write. Have you tried writing non-fiction, poetry, haikus, etc.?

This is an amazing question!

One frustration I have is that I can write non-fiction very well, especially in the areas of Management, Leadership and Relationship Building (I write articles for 2 Sales Force Effectiveness Newsletters for a $67B company), but I enjoy reading Fantasy a great deal more, which is why I want to write it.

If anyone has any ideas on how to parlay my non-fiction success writing into Fantasy writing success, I am all ears.

 

[Filk]

At one point, I started writing 1,000 words a day of stream of consciousness stuff. I got it down to about 15 minutes a day. I refused to allow myself to edit any of it and it was all garbage, but it helped me get back into writing. I did this every day for four months and I believe it cured my internal editor. I found that after a long lapse in writing, I could write again every day. I am not overly proud of some of the stuff that I have written, but it's there and I feel like I get better every day.

In terms of learning the rules of writing, get a good style manual (or three) and consult it/them as you write. Every time you have a question about your writing (or something that you read), look it up. Leave sticky notes or index cards in sections of the style manuals that you struggle with.

 

[Penpilot]

I forget who it is on here but in their signature it's a quote that basically says don't be afraid to do something because of the time it would take. The time is going to pass anyway.

I love that quote

I believe that may be me. See quote below.

As for Dan. I'll echo a few of the things said above. Writing is hard. It takes time, lots of time, to get better ate it. It's up to you to decide if you're willing to spend that time on something that you may never be able to make any money on, let alone make a living at. Write or don't. Neither is right or wrong. What matters is what's right for you.

With that said, Maybe part of the reason maybe you're having trouble is information overload. I've read a lot of writing books and most of them have been very helpful, but one of the things that got me scared was there was just sooooo much information to take in and process. I had to worry about this that and the other thing while making sure I was hopping on one foot, but only on Tuesdays, and if it was a leap year, I had to rub my tummy, and etc.

How I got through it was I pressed on and tried to apply all that I learned as best as I could, and I came up with a 270k book that was a 3yr disaster. But in writing that book, I learned a lot and applied what I learned into my next. I also took all the theory I learned, and just for fun, used it to break down on the fly the story and plot for TV shows, Movies, and books that I was watching and reading.

Just analysing how other writers were applying theory, gets me thinking about how I'm applying it, and it gives me something professional to compare my writing to. It gets me thinking on how I can make my stories better, using the tools I've learned about.

Since quotes were mentioned above. Here are a few others that spark me.

I believe that if, at the end of it all, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. - Roger Ebert

"If there's no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters -- then all that matters is what we do. 'Cause that's all there is. What we do. Now. Today." - Joss Whedon

 

[skip.knox]

You've had some good advice here and maybe it's presumptuous of me to add to it, but I'll presume anyway.

First, what makes you think you're not cut out to write? Because you struggle? Welcome to the club. Have you written something -- even if it's a disconnected scene -- and had others tell you it's awful? Have you done this eleventyhundred times? If not, you haven't tried enough times to declare yourself a failure at writing. It sounds like you have written a bit here and a bit there and are dissatisfied -- maybe even appalled -- by what you read. But you don't really say.

So, for one thing, write down why you stopped. All we got from that letter was that you struggled.

I saw in another one of your posts that you said you couldn't write gobbledygook. That's okay, but have you tried some of the writing exercises to be found on this and other forums? That keeps it from being gobbledygook but is something you can regard as a throw-away. Write as if no one is watching, to paraphrase. For myself, I have trouble with such exercises, but if I were stuck, that's one of the first places I would go.

Finally, you said you can write other stuff well. You may be surprised (or may not) to learn that there's a good deal of writing that goes on that never sees the light of day. It's called backstory. Character sketches, descriptions of creatures, landscapes, cities, and so on. Write all that. The descriptive stuff translates readily into scene setting. With character sketches, a common approach is to write scenes from childhood, or other scenes that take place before your story. These can develop quickly into dialog. Even if you don't use the material directly, it's a way to get practice writing dialog. In fact, some writing coaches suggest writing an interview with your character, in dialog form. All of these techniques, I should think, have their parallels in the writing in which you are already practiced.

And take heart. I wrote in fragments for years before I was finally able to get a story out. My writing habits are still very fragmentary -- I find it impossible to start and the beginning and stop and the end. Hell, I have trouble even *recognizing* them!

But I keep writing because I can't seem to stop. If I do stop, I get anxious and fretful. Eventually I realized I had this reaction because I'm a writer. That was a big step because then I had to ask myself what sort of writer I wanted to be. First, I wanted to be the kind of writer who could actually finish a story! Now my goal is to finish a long story -- a novel. Then my goal is to be a published writer. Then my goal is to be a published writer who makes more money in a year than he has invested in writing (yes, getting published costs money; *sigh*). I suppose I could cash my chips in at any of those points, declare victory and go home. But I have the uncomfortable feeling that writing is an itch that will never go away. I wish I were one of those people who "just love to write" but that's never been me. For me, it's desperately difficult and hard on the ego. I love to play music; I do not get a similar enjoyment from writing. I love my dog; she always makes me feel better. I hate my novel; it always makes me feel worse.

The only thing worse than writing, for me, is not writing.

 

[Philip Overby]

Quitting things that are hard is easy. Here's a list of things I've quit over the years:

1. Karate
2. Soccer
3. Studying Japanese
4. Smoking
5. Aerobics

What's not on this list is writing. Because no matter what, I've stuck with it.

No writer can wave a magical wand and automatically make their first drafts better. It doesn't work that way. It takes hard work. Writing is hard. That's why it's tempting to quit it. But if you really want to do something, you won't quit it. You'll persist, slam your head against the wall, and keep tapping at the keys. You don't have any other choice.

If your main problem is that you can't stand writing a bad first draft, then do more planning. Do pre-writing before you write and have ideas of exactly what you want to write. Your first drafts may get better and then you'll spend less time thinking what you wrote is crap and more time wanting to continue writing.

Another option: change your genre. Maybe what you're currently writing just isn't clicking with you. Try something else. See where that takes you. Fantasy writing in particular is probably (with the exception of hard sci-fi) one of the hardest genres to write. You have to create everything in some cases. That can feel quite overwhelming. Take away some of the pressure. Write something easy. Something fun.

If writing is really a chore for you, then yeah, maybe it's best if you quit. But if it's something you love and really, really want to do, you won't quit. You'll persist like the rest of us and keep on writing.

Plus you posting this thread insists that you don't really want to quit. So don't.

 

[ThinkerX]

I remember reading some of the material the OP put up in 'Showcase'. I thought it was fairly good, especially for initial drafts.

So...

Maybe the OP's works are not as bad as he thinks they are.

A few times in the past few months, I became a bit burned out on the endless editing and minor revising for my 'big' stories. So, I went and took a peak at some of my older stuff, stories I'd written years ago and nearly forgotten. I did spot some problems, but overall, my reaction was 'Wow! This ain't half bad.'

I'd sent a couple of those older pieces to a buddy of mine way back when. For a number of reasons (changing jobs, moving, computer issues) he didn't get to them then, but he did find them this winter while going through his archived files. He called me out of the blue a couple of months ago and said 'I really like this stuff. I want more.'

If you can get that kind of reaction out of people, then you know you are doing something right, grammar problems or not. We've had multiple threads here about best selling authors whose writing is...subpar at best. Yet their works sold because their stories were gripping.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

Comparing yourself to other authors can be a bad thing for your progress. When your emulating favorites or trying to learn techniques from their prose, it's a good thing. When your looking at another's work and saying "My work will never be brilliant like that" OR the converse "I can do much better"...it can be a harmful approach to writing.

First off, when comparing yourself to those who you might not consider very good, you're diminishing the amount of work & effort it took to produce that story. You might not think its the best thing since sliced bread but its still a lot if work. Then, as you churn away at your own you may become discouraged at your own efforts, especially if they don't yet measure up to works you consider inferior. They can be discouraging.

Secondly, those writers that you think are brilliant & natural geniuses? ...most aren't. They are however, hard workers. It might have taken them 5 years to crank out the story you believe to be so splendid. Then as you plow through the weeds of your own, you might think "I'll never be able to write like <insert name>! Yes... You can. If you want to work as hard and as long as they did. That's up to you but there's no easy road.

 

[wordwalker]

If I were to be brutally honest with myself, I would say that my motivation to write lies in my somewhat narcissistic desire to create something that people will enjoy, and maybe I struggle to reach the level of motivation required to overpower my "perfection neuroses" because the payoff doesn't take place until long after the work is complete, and even then there is no guarantee that people will actually enjoy it.

So then the question is: if I become a better writer, will a larger audience see and enjoy my work, and in turn help motivate me to write?

I don't know, it seems like quite the chicken-and-egg conundrum.

It's not chicken-egg, it's a self-reinforcing cycle. If you get it moving.

It seems to me what you want is to get a better handle on what kind of fun you want to give your readers, maybe working on one or two things at a time-- suspense, description, inspiration, humor, something. Even with small, one-purpose stories you can sharpen your sense of what matters, and have the satisfaction of getting tales done and in front of the audience you want. Each story may not be perfect, but it's developing one thing and you know the next one will then do that thing better or combine it with something else. Progress.

 

[Caged Maiden]

There's a pretty universal recipe to get readers to like your stories. It sounds stupid, but:

1. Engaging characters
2. Plausible plot with enough action to keep them turning the pages
3. A writing technique that is easy to read, clever, insightful, and contains a voice that the reader can connect with.

Of course, there's many ways to break it down, but the basics are what they are. If you had to pick a way your manuscript is weak, what is it? Where do you feel it falls down? If you can pinpoint the places you're weakest, what things can you do to overcome it? I almost never get down on myself if my first drafts are crap. Once you get a draft finished, editing is the real work. As long as you go into it knowing it, it isn't so awful.

I'm not very proud of most of my first drafts. But, I've written several things I'm really proud of. SO I have to take those as my victories and admit defeat where I was beaten by my own lacking skills or creativity. No story is perfect, but it's important to strive for the simple goals, like good strong characters and an engaging plot. I think for me, the single most devastating story-killer is a weak voice. I can take a lot of imperfections in characters, even implausible plots if it's written well. But if the writing is poor, meandering, or written with funky POV issues, a boring voice, or without feeling alive... I have to feel it's a miss.

Hope you find a way to figure out which road is best for you.

 

[The Unseemly]

I write because I can, I write because its fun, I write because I write. Its a matter of believing. You truly believe you can do it, then hell, you will. You are sundered by doubt, then you will never do it. Simply believe, don't worry, get on with your life, enjoy and only doubt doubt. Humans have the amazing ability to believe, one of their best and worst functions.

And, really, I mean, why so serious? I've made a mess of my brain already, and I don't feel like cleaning it up.

 

[PaulineMRoss]

I think all-in-all, I'm left feeling like I'm just not built to be a writer.

And yet, when I check out your blog, the very first thing I see is a wonderful piece of writing (Ill Omens). Is it perfect? No. But boy, is it compelling.

 

[advait98]

The question is, why do you feel like you can't write anything but gobbledygook? I, for one, know that I do write hogwash, because I am just not experienced enough, and haven't been writing too long. But you... I've seen your works, at least some of them, and I thought they were really good.

Nobody in the writing business stops learning, and if you believe that you write gobbledygook, and won't get better, I ask you, how will you get better? I'm experiencing a mild form of what you're feeling right now, and I haven't picked up the pen for two weeks now. It's probably an aftereffect of laziness more than anything, and an overly philosophical look on life sometimes (which is a terrible way to look at life sometimes), and I know that when I finally pick that pen up, I'll have to try my best to not to let go. And that's my aim.

Writing is hard work, it's like life, and when you go past those few pages of enjoyment and intrigue, you find it continuously harder to keep going on, until finally you stop at a crossroads- whether you want to keep going on, or you want to give up. It's your choice.

Your self-confidence has plummeted, that much is apparent, and it's up to you to drag it back up again. Only you can help yourself, the world's full of obstacles, and self-doubt's one of them. Only you can help yourself. And how to start? Writing. Don't even worry about the edit/revision part. Just write. And look at what you produce with a new eye. And then again, philosophy has its bright points sometimes.

Nobody's built to be a writer. But everyone's built to be human. We all have that irrepressible urge to create something attractive that others will like, no matter how much we deny it. All that matters is how we go about it.

Life is comparable to writing, and life is a hard ride, I can see that afar even in these few years of mine, and it ultimately always comes back to you and how you cope with it. A beautiful speech by Rocky Balboa comes to mind. Inspiration: Rocky's speech

A nice kick up the keester, as they said. Best of luck.

 

[Xaysai]

And yet, when I check out your blog, the very first thing I see is a wonderful piece of writing (Ill Omens). Is it perfect? No. But boy, is it compelling.

Thank you, Pauline, that's very kind of you to say.

 

[Xaysai]

I just want to thank you all again for the amazing replies.

I took out 3-4 of my WIP's yesterday and started brainstorming some ideas, so hopefully today I can get some words in.

I've "Thanked" as many people through the forum reputation mechanic that is allowed within a 24 hour period, so I will get the rest of you that I missed as soon as it lets me.

 

[Rob P]

I've gone thru this whole thread and many of your misgivings, feelings and emotions have at one time if not a multitude of times been something we have all endured.

I see in everyone's words, their passion for this hard and complex task upon our time, liberty and sanity. At its root is a desire, a need and a hunger to write, whether just for the love of writing for its own pleasure or for the pleasure we hope to share with others.

We feel the constant finger pointing of our demon legions spouting self-doubt at ever opportunity. We sit in the shadow of rules and expectations given too much influence by our own hand over our creative outpouring. We seek and fear assessment and critique with equal measure as though it's a measure of our very being.

When times hit the tough stuff we must remember why.

Stories are dreams and we have the power to weave those dreams for ourselves and others.

 

[Chessie]

This is a beautiful thread. The support you've received, Xaysai, is all so heartfelt. A common thing I've read here is that your work is good. We are our own worst critics for no proper reason at all. Maybe just go back the the basics for now and ask yourself why do you love to write? What is it about this storytelling ability that rocks your boat?

As writers, we are also entertainers. It seems to matter equally to us that the readers are entertained as well as our own desire to tell a story is fulfilled. The balance will come to you. Take a breather to read other works you enjoy, maybe take a walk in nature while marinating on some ideas, take it easy! Love yourself through this and appreciate the contrast for what it is: a sign that you're wanting more from all this. You can achieve that.

 

[Rinzei]

I can definitely sympathise with this. I used to write a lot - perhaps it wasn't great writing (my re-reads make my cringe!), but I was passionate and enthusiastic about it. It all just came out in a wonderful burst of creation. And I absolutely loved it.

When I went off to university, EVERYTHING went on hold - my world revolved around doing homework and keeping my GPA high so I could keep my scholarship. I didn't write anything at all really for those four years.

Now on the other side of uni, I yearn for that feeling again. But it's been tough. I've found that things aren't coming as easily as they once did and I struggle to find my footing. It's only in the last month (over 2 years after I finished uni) that I've been able to do any plot working, but there is still little writing taking place.

In the end, I can try and point the blame at many things being in the way - stress at work, a sometimes apathetic regard from loved ones that acts as little encouragement, lack of communication with other writers (hello, forum!) - but in the end, those aren't really things I can control. So if I want to write again, I need to push past those things and just keep trying. Because that feeling I used to have was one-in-a-million. If I have to fight to get it back, then that's what I'm going to do.


You're definitely not alone, Xaysai. I wish you luck with your WIP and hope you can find what you're looking for. If not - well, here we all are if you need us.

 

[skip.knox]

>We are our own worst critics for no proper reason at all.

Chesterama makes a good point here. If I think my writing sucks, if I am truly not a very good writer, then I'm the *worst* person to judge the quality of my writing, since obviously I don't have good taste!

Someone further up the thread warned against comparing ourselves to published writers. I agree and would add that if we were going to compare, then we would have to compare *our* first draft with *their* first draft. What we read is *their* finished product. They had editors. The comparison is intrinsically unfair.