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Dwarven Pub Jingles

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
In an upcoming chapter of our third book, we're going to visit the dwarven city of Kul Boldar, which is inside a hollow mountain and lit by bioluminescent fungi and plants. A river runs through it, driving the massive water wheels that power the city and, more importantly, its great forges.

Along the riverside, down a main thoroughfare, are a long line of pubs and shops all competing with each other, with hawkers out front shouting rhyming advertisements for their respective businesses.

I suck at rhyming.

So, I turn to you guys for help. Our dwarves are pretty traditionally Tolkien-esque, hard working and hard fighting and hard partiers. Their pubs have names like The Pig and Pickle and the only jingle I've been able to come up with is for a fish stall. "Never doubt we have the best trout!"

Any contributions will be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much!
 

Ban

Troglodytic Trouvère
Article Team
Drinking songs should be simple enough to be sung by the least capable of folk, yet be interesting enough to remember if they’re to survive longer than a night. Simple, slightly raunchy or not normally acceptible behavior tends to do well. Here's a quick crack at it from me.


Lord Logdonar

Old lord Logdonar had a hoard of beer

He kept it for him, and those he held dear

Were he a good man, he might have held his

But the lord was a cheat , who smelled bad as piss


One day he went, to the haaaarborside

To tell them who work, to work day and night

They bled and they sweat, till together they said

Oh sod off fat bastard, you should work instead


With a rope for a whip, Logdonar was hit

Whining and sniffling back to his pit,

Where he then brought forth, the sum of his wealth

Liters of laaaaaager,

Ale, stouts and porters for health
 
Last edited:

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
I
Drinking songs should be simple enough to be sung by the least capable of folk, yet be interesting enough to remember if they’re to survive longer than a night. Simple, slightly raunchy or not normally acceptible behavior tends to do well. Here's a quick crack at it from me.


Lord Logdonar

Old lord Logdonar had a hoard of beer

He kept it for him, and those he held dear

Were he a good man, he might have held his

But the lord was a cheat , who smelled bad as piss


One day he went, to the haaaarborside

To tell them who work, to work day and night

They bled and they sweat, till together they said

Oh sod off fat bastard, you should work instead


With a rope for a whip, Logdonar was hit

Whining and sniffling back to his pit,

Where he then brought for, the sum of his wealth

Liters of laaaaaager,

Ale, stouts and porters for health
I love this so much!
 
A golden stout,
Better then a pig snout,
Shall make you dance and shout,
Before you fall around and about.

Come rain or hail,
You'll not miss our Ale,
We bring it to you in pail,
So you'll be quite Hale.
 

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
A golden stout,
Better then a pig snout,
Shall make you dance and shout,
Before you fall around and about.

Come rain or hail,
You'll not miss our Ale,
We bring it to you in pail,
So you'll be quite Hale.
These are great!
 
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